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mystik

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  • Birthday 04/08/1985

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  1. Hm...no I definitely wasn't. When I met him I was very excited to be at my new uni, excited to have moved accross the country to my first own apartment downtown, and really quite happy and excited about meeting new people. I've also been quite happy/optimistic throughout the two months. Although! your theory might have some merit? When I met him, HE was the one who was somewhat going through a complicated time. He had recently broke up with his ex and I could feel sometimes that he was still emotionally attached though he insisted he wasn't. There was two times during the two months where he cancelled our plans last minute because he HAD to talk with his ex and help her through all her 'issues.' and once I asked what the issues were he said "me" (as in him) and they would just talk and talk their issues out. but..I can't see how he "rescued" this young, drunk, 17 year old? Rescued by placing numerous hickies all over her? If someone has 'rescuing' tendencies wouldn't he also have the decency to end it with me first? Also, to the previous posters, I don't know how "on the down low" i can keep this. Her roommate is friends with a lot of my friends and they all think he's a big (insert appropriate word here) now. I've emailed the roommate saying I'd appreciate it if she just kept me out of it from now on, even if she is still trying to convince the girl not to date him. I'm just going to distance myself as much as I can from the situation. I don't actually know this girl so I don't really 'owe' her anything right? I'm still aghast at how someone could do this after giving no indication whatsover that he wasn't interested. I mean, we had dinner a couple of days before! and I got an email the night before dinner saying "hope we're still having dinner, etc, etc, xoxo, ~love, mike" (name changed.) Gah :S
  2. Fastest way to get over someone???? Get under someone else... On a more serious note, is she in school? Exams are well underway for a lot of people - that might be it? If not though, I'd do what bigheart09 suggested. If she can't really answer why she has been acting the way she has, go with your gut instinct. If you know in your heart she's probably not interested anymore and is too chicken to tell you, then let it be. And really,it was only the first weekend that you went out and tried to forget her, give it a couple more weekends and you'll be more open to seeing someone new. And lastly! don't feel bad about feeling upset over someone you never really had! We all do it. I'm currently going through it as well. I know I'll get over it eventually. you will too
  3. You know what is great? When you have been seeing someone for two months (movies, dinner, hanging out, parties)...and 5 days after you last see each other, when you had dinner - you find out the guy you're seeing picked up a drunk 17 year old on the street - literally, he found her wandering the streets at night, went to her place in residence on campus, stays the night, calls her 3 times the next day, has coffee with her, and plans to attend her 18th birthday party later this week. This is five days after you had an awesome dinner where he shared his family stories, asked when you would be back after christmas break and tells you he'll miss you (like he has done for the last two months). I find that I can't even find myself getting overly upset over this because I still can't half-believe it. Unfortunately for him, he managed to pick up a 17 year old girl who happens to be the roommate of one of my close friends. I don't think he even knows I know yet. But fortunately for him, she's the type of girl who a) brings home ppl she meets on the street, and b) doesn't want to hear my warnings. I can't believe this why do people do this? Why is it that the first guy I date after my horrific break-up ended up being this winner? I'm planning on blocking him from my MSN and just not talking to him. I'll run into him because we have some mutual friends but I'm just going to act casual and pretend nothing has ever happened. What would anyone here do? Would you confront him? I somewhat want to confront him too but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he has hurt me.
  4. Wow, FCTex... I haven't been on for MONTHS. since April probably...and I check today, and this post is what came up again. Wow, it's amazing to see what I wrote back then. Well it's October now, and I'm "cured" of my heartbroken-ness. I feel completely, absolutely free from my ex in every way. I haven't dated anyone since but I recently met this new guy a few weeks ago - that's why I signed on again after so long, to look at the dating column. It feels really great to not be posting in the Break-Up section anymore...sometimes I can't even believe I'm at the stage where I am. I want to thank you again for helping me so long ago, you're still my hero As the possible drama of getting into the dating game again begins, I hope I can message you for some chatting! P/S On a side note, for those who are healing right now, it took me 8 months, but I got over it. You WILL move on, no matter how much you feel like you won't right now. Trust me, I wasn't quite the believer myself...
  5. Agreed Not neccessarily educated, but motivated academically. I'm in university and whenever I study with a boyfriend, or am in the same room while he studies hard for a test, I just like to watch him study Maybe I'm weird but it really is quite "HOT." It's really cute how hard he's concentrating =)
  6. Not to be pessimistic here, but I don't know too many 18 year old girls who would date someone who were 16. It wouldn't be anything personal, and certainly not impossible...but not that likely.
  7. OH yeah, how do you think SHE felt when she found out you cheated on her, EIGHT TIMES. I cannot believe you even have the NERVE to go on and on about how disloyal she is. I cannot even believe that you're trying to make US understand how much "pain" that YOU are in. I personally think you deserve anything that she does to you. You are so self-absorbed. You think that because you can admit you did something bad, and that you're a "dog" that it makes it okay? So, because you're a bad person, everything bad that you do, is thereforeeee excusable? Think again. Acknowledging you're doing something wrong, doesn't make it okay. Why would she cheat? Because she probably has the worst boyfriend in the world - one who cheats on her constantly and then beats her. If you're asking yourself why she would cheat on you, you're being very delusional about your role in all of this.
  8. it's fine that the entry is too long, but you will probably get more responses if you break it down into paragraphs. Makes it a lot easier for people to read and doesn't turn them off on the longness of the post
  9. that's dead on for me. After my break-up I got a new haircut, new hair colour, some new clothes...in addition to wanting to feel different, it was also nice to have someone pamper you at the salon. (at mine, they give you a 20 minute head massage after they wash it - sooo nice). I think it's all about the new start, different direction in life and something physical to symbolize it. Also, after being dumped, you feel very insecure about yourself and it helps to bring up your self esteem at times.
  10. I would advise using punctuation in your post. That whole paragraph was basically one long sentence and you might get more replies if people could read your post easier. It is so run on that it is difficult to understand. To answer your question though, yes, it is possible to be just friends. The only way I think though, to be real friends, is that you both are over each other. Also, that you both really want to be friends are willing to make the effort. Sometimes though, if your friendship really only consisted of sexual innuendos, flirting, sexual tension....perhaps a friendship without that wouldn't be easy to get back - because that kind of friendship never existed in the first place. But, you could always try, you never know.
  11. I don't know any because I've never actually watched a full episode of Seinfeld before...but those mentioned above made me want to start! Those were funny, made me smile. Thanks
  12. Why on earth would he put on the condom AFTER he cums? It's like putting on your seatbelt AFTER you've just gotten into a car accident... Like some people mentioned above, there is pre-cum, which also has sperm in it, that exits before he cums. You could easily get pregnant from that too before he comes. You should also look into getting birth control before you have sex if you're worried. I am on the pill, PLUS I make my partner wear a condom. You can never be too careful.
  13. And everyone told you earlier that you shouldn't be, unless there are other signs. You've since posted another "sign" but yet the consensus is the same: you are overreacting. I know you can't help being worried, but seriously, you need to stop worrying, or get out of this relationship. You can't understand why his ex would want to marry him when she thought he was cheating. Well, I can't understand why you would stay in this relationship when you there is obviously no trust in it whatsoever. I also don't understand why you are staying in it if you're so adamant of finding proof that he is cheating. And even if you're not LOOKING for proof, it almost seems like you are EXPECTING it from him. If that's the case, WHY stay with him? This relationship is definitely doomed if you continue to wonder about EVERY Little move he makes with his phone, recording it to memory, and analyzing it. Trust me when I say that your boyfriend is not going to put up with it for much longer, especially since you said that he broke up with his ex over the same trust issues. You say that you don't tell him what you think, and just post it here... but earlier you said that he did notice your mood change and that you mentioned it. You don't have to say it outloud for him to see that you're not trusting him. He is quite aware of your suspicions and utter lack of trust. Especially since he knows he's not "allowed" to bring his phone into the washroom anymore. Your seemingly small and casual questions about his phone usages have not gone unnoticed by him. Also, this being your first serious relationship, I can see why you might be feeling more anxious and worried about this...because it seems to matter so much more. However, it does not excuse you (not that you're doing something wrong persay, I know you can't help the way you feel)...from acting and being the paranoid girlfriend. You have got to get a grip on yourself and just trust him or, understand that there's a reason why you feel this way, and get out. And like everyone has said, even if you don't end it, he's going to get fed up eventually. And honestly, the behaviour you mentioned in your latest post, NOTHING to be suspicious about at all. absolutely nothing. Seriously, what do you want him to do, never open his phone ever again unless he hears its beep? People check their phones for SO many reasons. Maybe he thought he didn't hear a beep, or maybe he simply wondered what time it was. In any event, who relaly cares? Do you want him to CONSTANTLY monitor himself and where he puts his phone? What kind of life is he living when his girlfriend expects him to takes his phone out of his pocket even to go to the washroom, and expects him to remember every single time? When his girlfriend is going to be suspicious simply because he opens his phone? What next? Internet monitoring? I think you really need to put yourself in his shoes and see how you would feel if the roles were reversed... I'm sorry if it seems like I am yelling at you but I really believe that something has got to change or you might be losing someone who you clearly care a lot for.
  14. I think there are two different types of regret we are talking about here. For some, the regret is not waiting until marriage. For others, it is the regret of having sex with a particular person or during a particular time that they wish they hadn't....they don't regret that they hadn't waited until marriage, but just that specific time. I guess because I had never intended to wait until marriage but only for a good guy and a good time, that is why I don't regret it. I am really sorry that you (alr31) are where you are now...you wanted to wait until marriage, and you thought you were going to marry this guy. I am really sorry you're going through this pain, guilt and regret.... I do hope it gets better for you...just know that no matter what happens, you will get through this...and come out a better and stronger person. Good luck.
  15. mystik

    So he cheated

    I think your sister deserves to know what kind of guy she is living with and committed to. You are certainly stuck in a situation where if she finds out, she may never forgive or trust you again. However, she also deserves someone better, someone who won't cheat on her, especially with her own sister. I have no solutions for you, but I really think she somehow needs to at least find out what kind of guy he really is :S
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