MissCanuck

It is long past time you step away from this cyber-fantasy. He sounds like a jerk. But you would be better-served by figuring why you have wasted so many years on a situation that was never a real relationship. You can do better than this, OP.

You're on repeat, girl. You keep saying the same things over and over. It changes nothing about your current situation. This isn't healthy for you. Do you have supportive friends in real life you can talk to about this? Going around in circles on the internet doesn't appear to be helping you.

Again, none of this matters anymore. For now, he is not in contact with you. You really need to stop going in circles about what he might be doing, might be thinking or might do in the future. You're wasting way too much energy on "might." Start focusing on letting go, since it's already clear this has no future.

Don't even worry about this right now. It's been weeks since you heard from him so the chances are slim. Cross that bridge only if you come to it. But the truth is, you hadn't found it with him either. You were attracted to him and felt something, yes. But it wasn't a viable prospect since he didn't see a future. It certainly doesn't mean you will never feel a spark again with someone else. Your fear is keeping you paralyzed.

Real adults have dating setbacks too, though. Real adults face disappointment. Real adults sometimes feel hurt when things don't work out. I am not sure why you hinged being a real adult on the nature of this fledgling connection. As for right now, it's normal that you're not feeling it with new men. You're still way too hung up on this other guy to even be open to dating someone else yet. That is why all contact needs to stop, so you really let go of false hope Being bread-buddies is pointless, as is being friends in general. It will keep you stuck.

So actually, you aren't still communicating. He has let it fizzle. This question has already been answered multiple times in your threads, so I am not going to repeat what has already been thoroughy discussed. Do you get that someone's interest can change? You seem to have a hard time understanding that a few good dates and some sex isn't a guarantee that things will continue. People change their minds sometimes. You need to let it all go You are driving yourself mental asking the same questions over and over. Are you generally a very anxious person in other areas of your life?

Because he doesn't assign as much importance and urgency to this connection that you do. If he did, well, this thread would not exist. That's not to say he didn't like you, but only that he isn't operating from the same scarcity mindset that you are. What I mean is that you see this as your only shot at love and you have described your lack of success in dating generally - it is probably not the same for him, hence his willingness to let this one go. He knows this wasn't his only chance. He also told you himself previously that he didn't have the right romantic feelings to continue dating you. You need to believe him. There is a difference between enjoying someone's company for the short term and having fun in the moment, and seeing true potential for something longer-term. The latter wasn't there for him. He was honest with you about that when he first ended this. The fact that you remained open to seeing him in spite of knowing he felt that way is on you. No, he shouldn't have kept in touch knowing you liked him and wanted more. But it is up to you draw a line there and say no to casual meet-ups when the guy has not clearly indicated that he had a change of heart and wants to try dating again. It's a tough but important lesson to learn. I hope you are not still communicating with him?

Also this. OP, it's fine to be excited about a potential new interest, but remember to keep perspective too. You have no idea how well you will mesh offline, if the chemistry will be there, if things will still be interesting after a couple dates, and so on. Go and have fun when you meet her but keep your expectations in check. See how you get on when you're face-to-face.

I imagine this had a lot to do with it, because otherwise, you two were totally unsuited to each other. When you can't even communicate without the support of technology, it is a dead end. I say that as someone who also lives abroad and has learned the local language. It is otherwise impossible to have a functional relationship. Add to that the fact that she kept rejecting your advances, and the writing has been on the wall for a long time. Perhaps you were also at a more vulnerable or lonely point when you met her too, so she seemed like a reasonable option because nothing else was really happening. But this was never a very realistic prospect. Best to have walked away, and keep it that way.

Nah. She just knows how to put on an act for a guy who really, really wants to believe this is the real deal. It doesn't require great acting skill when the audience wants to be convinced. Time to wake up, my dude. This is not the relationship you think it is. It is obvious she is playing with you and lying to you, and you would have to be pretty willfully naive to think you are the only man she sees and accepts money from. Please, walk away from this. You are going to wind up even more hurt in the end, because this young lady is not the love of your life and will not be riding off into the sunset with you.

Yes, it's fine that you stopped watching adult content. But I wonder, why do you feel so guilty about that to begin with? It's a pretty normal thing to do, especially when someone is single and doesn't have another outlet.

You're not crazy. You were someone who had hopes for a future with a guy, and it didn't work out. You are having some trouble accepting that it's not going to amount to anything and you need support talking through your feelings. Do you go in circles sometimes? Yes. Does that make you a crazy person? No. As long as you realize this guy was not the one for you, you're going to be all good again soon.

Here we go again.

Precisely. Best friends don't need to tell each other they are just friends, because they already know. This sort of conversation wouldn't need to happen at all. This would be akin to me announcing that rain makes the street not dry.

Over one message from an ex, a year ago? She clearly does not trust you. Think about what that says: she believes you lack dignity and are dishonest. In other words, she thinks quite little of you. I would stop enabling this, and start re-evaluating if this is the sort of relationship you really want.