MissCanuck

According to who, him? How did you manage to listen to one of their private conversations?

If he's already losing feelings after just one month, then yes, I would say a break-up is inevitable. I am sorry. It hurts but it's going to hurt a lot more to stay with a guy who doesn't really want to be there anymore.

This man is abusing you. Please, don't waste your life on him. Start making a plan to safely exit this relationship, and start now.

Is there another window you can look out of when you're trying to calm your anxiety? Surely not all the windows in your home directly face his. Wondering if he ever meant what he said is also keeping you stuck. You can see he has moved on, and while it hurts, you also need to stop tormenting yourself with questions you will never really get the answers to.

I was just going to say the same thing. The one with the big crush is him.

There is no way this relationship is going to work out now.

I wouldn't even bother with this friend, then. I would aim outside your work crowd altogether to find dates. This all sounds too nebulous and with the potential to become very awkward.

But does it feel any better getting an answer by baiting him like this?

In the future, please don't go the route of "testing" someone like this. Learn to use your words and speak up for yourself. Now you know he's not all that interested in you, but you could have approached it more maturely. There is no need to hide behind a screen to figure out if someone has more serious intentions with you.

OP, if you like the woman you talk about in this thread, it makes no sense to go asking about her friend that she supposedly wanted to set you up with.

Maybe the over-thinking here stems from the fact that you don't really know this person and your gut is telling you to slow down and keep your expectations in check. In other words, your anxiety is flaring but you're attributing it to the wrong source (porn) It is quite risky to try to jump into something long-distance when you have no previous experience with the person and it will inherently be much more difficult to get to know each other. My sense is that this what your fear is stemming from, and understandably so, but you have assumed some prior porn use is the root. It's not. Enjoy your first meet-up but keep both feet on the ground.

Oh, girl. You really need to learn how to date. Do you have an older and more experienced female friend or family member you can talk to? You're lost here.

Honestly, it sounds like you all need to lighten up a bit. I don't think it was that serious.

Exactly. She was just joking, man. You are the one turning it into something in your own mind. It was a throw-away humorous comment. Nothing more, nothing less.

You'll still find reasons to criticize and judge them, so it's unlikely getting married and having children will improve your friendships. People seem to distance themselves from you. They're not all that busy all the time. If you don't hear from people often, well, you're probably not as great to be around as you think.