neolithic

sort of. i have a lot of people to hang out with, technically, but i just want something easy and comfortable and i want to be able to talk about being lonely, you know? and you can't very well do that with anyone you've just met or don't know very well. plus, there really are a lot of people here that i just dont fit in with, they're all in fraternities and sororities and they all dress the same and act the same in class, and i'm just different than that.

i dont' think i'm totally homesick. i mean, i miss my family, but if they came to visit me, i don't really think i'd feel better. i think it's that i go to a very traditional southern school and i feel like there's no one around here like me. i dont want to go out with anyone anyway. i don't know. i got homesick last year, but this year i just feel terrible and absolutely lonely.

i know how you feel. i'm at university, so it would seem like i wouldn't be lonely.. but i am. i need to break up with my exboyfriend (again), he just makes me feel terrible about myself and about everything. i don't need that in my life, but i feel so lonely otherwise. i too am picky about the people i hang out with.. i know this is small, but maybe we can just sort of be 'pen pals' for a little while, if you think that would help you at all.

hi everyone, just to preface this post, i just fought with my laptop mouse for like five minutes because it wouldn't move, and then i realized it was because there was a giant tear plopped on it. if that tells you anything. anyway, i just moved back to college for my sophomore year. last year i didn't really get lonely or homesick or feel terrible, at all. but for some reason, this year, i am completely lonely. i cry all the time, and i miss living with my family, and i even went back to an exboyfriend that i never thought i would, and i think that's largely because i'm so lonely. my roommate's girlfriend is here this year (she was still living at home last year), and i sort of feel second to my roommate now, when we hung out, just us, all the time last year. i know people will want to tell me to just go meet people, join clubs, etc. but i know a lot of people, and they often want to hang out, but it's just.. it's not there. i'm just lonely. i don't know what to do. i don't want to call my parents because they'll worry. i just want to live at home and never do anything for the rest of my life. i just want to find someone who will love me and not someone who will make me feel like i have to beg and work up points for something like him staying over. i don't know if going back with him and this loneliness are related, because i pretty much started talking to him when i moved back. anyway, i'll do whatever i need to to stop these feelings. i'm starting to feel depressed, and i really don't want to go there. i really just want to get really back into classes, and start clubs again, but it's only the first week. i need something to do. i'm even taking 19 hours because i desperately need things to do. please help me. i'm miserable

You are so young; you're my.. on/off boyfriend's age! I wouldn't even be able to think about any of that stuff at that age.. You don't need the pressure in general, and you don't need to be pressured into marriage. That will only end in disaster. You definitely need some space. PM if you want to talk more. It seems like we both need someone to talk to

I really do think it's my overanalysis. I think about everything, all the time. I analyze every little word or motion, even though I know there's no point to it. I know that he loves me, it's a truer thing because we've been apart and we've been through a lot and we still can only really see each other. His actions tells me he cares, like doing things for me he wouldn't do for other people, and giving me honest compliments just to do so. He's a very complicated person, or maybe just classically male, but these things mean a lot to me. But still.. I overthink, all the while telling myself to stop and that I'm being stupid. I feel like I'm sort of growing out of my insecurities, but I'm not quite there yet, so I see both the insecurities and the clear. This is hard; it's quite tiring. Thank you for your help, though. I hope everything ends up OK with your fiancee. Relationships can be so difficult, no matter whom you're with

i agree completely. it's not a trust thing with him in particular, though, because it's like this with everyone. he's never done anything to hurt me anyway, and i've always been the one to "take a break" or whatever, with him. it can be really hard to let go, though, and that's the worst part of this.

hello everyone. i recently started dating an old boyfriend again, after i moved back to school after the summer, and things are amazing and happy and fun and delightful with us. i know he loves me and cares about me, but i still get this anxious feeling. however, this has happened with everyone. i always worry they won't call or they're going to stop loving me, etc etc. it may come from things being really great this one day, then an ex dumping me the next day. i think i still worry that's going to happen. but anyway, by anxious feeling i mean i just never feel comfortable after a while after we aren't together or talking on the phone. like, i feel fine for a while after we hang up, but then i sort of forget, i guess, and i start worrying again. this is stupid, i know, and i constantly try to tell myself that, but it seems i have to come to some sort of mental conclusion to comfort myself before i can be at ease again. however, another bout of anxiety is always around the corner. this is really getting in the way of my happiness in these good situations, and i want to know if anyone else has been through this. any suggestions at all, any comments or anything, would be very helpful. this is very important to me. thank you, everyone.

why do you think you need verbal expression so often? do you not believe he loves you? when i found real, matured love i realized i was comfortable in it, and i could tell he loved me by his actions. before that, i just wanted to hear it all the time. i think that expressing it verbally too often dilutes the meaning, and it just becomes some stock romance

The truth is that, if you're not back together both completely excited and equal about everything, you will break up again. And then you'll have to go through a break up again. You may end up being strung along, feeling inadequate and insecure, as you do now, etc. It could be a miserable time. It doesn't look good, already. But, your feelings of misery when you were apart are normal. You'll feel terrible at first, and go through the stages of grief. But eventually things will get better, and eventually you'll find someone new, and you can start over again. You'll have a fresh chance, and you'll feel better. You'll have learned from this. So..

i read your post, that guy sounds like a total jerk. i think you're very right to be in the same boat as me right now. it's easy, as a woman, to get swept up with guys, wanting to please them and make them love us, but then we lose sight of who WE are, which is awful. i know it's hard, and you're still going to think about him, but just know that you're a lot better than that. there ARE people out there who are worth it.. i hope! do you have an AIM screenname? maybe we could talk about our situations, emotional support!

I think that if he makes you feel bad about yourself ALREADY, then you should dump him. You will always have that comparison in the back of your mind, and it can definitely be hell to notice your boyfriend constantly checking out other women all the time. Plus, he seems like a guy who only compares girls' "hotness" on their boobs and butts.. you would think you'd want someone who looked more at.. faces! That's what'll be there in the long run. I had a boyfriend who used to ask about penis size, and how his compared to my ex's. I tried to be tactful, over terribly honest.. his was normal, but I've had weirdly big and perfect before, I don't know why or how. But, to me, it was better to sort of just turn the focus on how much I liked his, over hurting his feelings. I would be really offended.

a few days ago i realized that i had not been single, really truly SINGLE, for years. probably 5 years, and i'm only 19. consequently, i often conform to what i think my significant other wants in me, and although i have a strong identity, at least in the minds of others, this has left me quite confused. or just not as strong as i'd like to be. i also realized i have big insecurity issues. i honestly feel like no man will ever want to do anything for me, that i can't REALLY do anything to a man, as far as attracting them. i don't know why i feel like this, but i do. i don't feel like i can compete, but i know that's stupid. regardless, i feel that way, but i don't want to anymore. i know that other people do find me attractive, and that i'm smart and talented, and i have a lot going for me. but i just feel invisible a lot, like i don't really belong with humanity. so, i have made the decision that for a while, i'm not going to date anyone, and i'm going to spend time having fun being 19, being at college with basically all expenses paid, instead of worrying about guys, getting upset over them. i'm focusing on my studies so i can get into one of the top law schools, because that's what i really want. i also really want to work on my identity and confidence level. i don't know how to raise my self-esteem, other than just recognizing i'm a good person. but i think i need more than that. does anyone have any suggestions that helped them? any advice would help. thanks all!

i just got back from visiting some friends at school, especially my ex-boyfriend, whom i'm "talking to" or "seeing." i don't want to get into big detail about that, but now that i am home and thinking about things, i am just so lonely and i feel so disconnected. i have no one i can talk to about this, i just want to be heard and understood or kept company. he and i fought, over something complicated and very serious that i had done, that i don't want to go into, but it's very obvious that he still cares about me but i don't know in which way or if he loves me or if i'm just seeing him because there's no one else right now. i don't know what will make me happy and i don't know what i should do. i just want to sit in a corner and cry for days and just get this sinking feeling off of my chest. does anyone have any advice for getting through this? i don't want to get into depression again.. but i don't want to just blow it off, because then it will come back. i just want to talk to someone, but not my parents or a therapist anymore. i don't know

i agree that she may have to change schools. but i must say for her, she may not just be doing it for shallow attention. i know that i love to take erotic pictures, it's my biggest turn on. but i only ever share the pictures in very serious, trusting relationships, in a secured situation. but i used to be stupider about it. i went to an all girls school, so there was no way anything like that could've spread like her wildfire, but she needs to learn control. and she needs to learn to not be stupid, and, though sometimes being viewed as a sex object is a big big turn on, you don't want to accrue that same reputation from EVERYONE. there is the chance that she is just doing this for attention, though. but her story sounds pretty familiar. i know that i was very shy and scared of sex when i was about 15, but once i had my first "sexual" encounter, i went a little crazy, because i'd been waiting for sex for so long, just meaning with how i was dressing and expressing myself. but, especially since she's underage, she needs to be very very careful and stop this, or else she could get in serious legal trouble. you need to talk to her about it. but don't call her a * * * *! so many people mistake sexual expression that they themselves don't understand (or are jealous of.. but that's usually a different scenario) as being promiscuous or "loose." just let her know the practical ramifications. and if you think she just desperately wants attention, tell her she's better than this, or something.