nikki blu

Okay...I broke it! ](*,) I couldn't help it...He sent a text and called four times and I just had to put him in his place and get some closure. I told him even if he didn't want to be serious, I expected common courtesy of cancelling the date...and not to take my kindness for weakness. He said that wasn't the case and apologized, I accepted...but the trust is gone. He's a fun person to hang out with, but definitely not boyfriend material at this time in his life.

Sometimes I have a slight frown on my face when I'm in deep thought...some passer by dude always says, "Hey...smile....!!!" It gets really irritating....who wants to walk around with a stupid grin all the time? :splat:

You're right it's not just guys, I remember posting about a long time girlfriend leaving me at a restaurant to meet some guy and then laughing it off like it was no big deal...it's sad that people have no regard for others! It's not in my nature to be defensive and on guard, but what can I do to get the point accross early on?

A guy I dated once told me he wanted to experience my anger, because I was just too sweet, too perfect. I've seen a pattern that when I'm getting close to a guy, they always seem to test me to see if I'll get angry. From not returning calls to getting stood up. I get tired of proving that I'm a kind, forgiving person, but I won't tolarate blatant disrespect for the sake of some guy knowing he's not dating a pushover....Has anybody had this problem?

He stood me up Friday...I've been wanting to call him and curse him out all weekend! Totally confused me...he sounded all excited to go out I know.... he warned wasn't ready for anything serious with me, but that's just plain disrespectful!

Thanks for your advice everyone...I texted him yesterday and said I needed to talk to him. Hopefully, I have the strength to break it off, keep the friendship and maybe have a second try at it later.

I know there are two sides to every story...but from his actions I gather she was pretty high maintenance. He said he basically did everything she wanted to do and pretty much pouted when she didn't get her way. This might be because she's in her early 20's He's in his late 20's... I just turned 30. I know age is just a number, but in this case...the things he apologizes to me for are like silly comments of nothingness only an immature drama queen would ruffle her feathers over. Or maybe I'm just laid back, and he's not used to that. We had a serious discussion. I don't do open intimacy. And made it clear that if either one of us meets someone else of interest...it's over. That likely won't happen with me, but I guess it's good to back off to give the impression that I'm not so available. It's so hard when you enjoy someone's company. Damn, why do I want to see him?...I wish I had a lightswitch in my brain called "Play the Game"....](*,)

People spend over half their lives working...make it a place where you can be happy.

Went to a concert about a month ago by myself and sold my extra ticket to this guy. Ran into him later in the concert and he bought me a few drinks as a thank you. A good buzz plus good conversation lead to flirting and heavy petting and I felt uncomfortable, so I lost myself in the crowd. Two weeks later I get a text from him asking to forward pictures I took at the concert. The chemistry started again with us texting back and forth until he called, we had a great conversation and he asked me out to a concert with him and his friends later that week. When we get to the concert he says he has a feeling his ex-girlfriend is going to be there. They were together off and on for about 4 years and they just broke up 3 months ago. Turns out she is there, and it's his first time seeing her since they broke up. He was uptight most of the night because his friends would go up and talk to her or they would poke fun at the situation. I did'nt know this was going on, he told me later. He says he decided immediately after they broke up he was swearing off women for awhile and he just wanted to be by himself, but meeting me was like fate. Yet he wants to make sure I don't fall for him, because he's not quite ready. He invited me to a Christmas party, we had great time followed by intimacy that has been going on for a few weeks now. He has been the most considerate, but apologetic guy I have ever met, hard to describe...like a perfect gentleman with self esteem issues. He claims he is a jerk and he doesn't deserve the way I treat him so nice. Then it seems he tries to act like a jerk to make me angry, and I just laugh at him because it seems so unnatural. We agreed things have moved a little fast. I respect he is not ready...I have had so many bad dating experiences over the past few years...I want and deserve a real relationship, the chemistry is there but the timing is so wrong and I can't figure this thing out ....it might be hard for either one of us to break it off...what should I do?

WELL SAID!!!

Oh My Goodness! That's what I'm dealing with now except for #7...but there was a mutual understanding in my situation. He just broke up with a long term girlfriend and we agreed things moved a little too fast, but the chemistry was there and we enjoy each other's company. I don't feel like I'm getting played. I'm not naiive to the fact that he just wants companionship, I do too! I'd love a relationship, but his scars are too fresh. He needs to deal with it in his own way. I believe it's a case of bad timing. Completely out of the ordinary for me, but life is short and I've been through enough hurt...I'm mature enough to handle the situation and know when to end it. If there's any other truth I need to know...it will be revealed...it always is!

My male friend is coming out of his newlywed status of 5 years...starting to constantly complain about marriage.... , "You're better off being single! But if you do, don't change after you get married!" He shared his philosophy that the average dating man has about 5 to 10 women that he considers "marriage material" by the time he gets ready to settle down. Whoever is into him as much as he is into her at the time is the one who walks down the aisle. I think it's bull for the most part....I know many that married for true love, but I'd like to know if there's some truth to this statement. Does a man feel he's getting old, decide he's ready to settle down, start a family...and gamble with his "favorites"?

Your post really hits home for me...my mother just told me that I come off too confident, but a few months before that she said I don't love my self enough. I won't even go into my painful family history, but just know that many others share your feelings, and the ability to bear one's soul is a gift not recognized enough in this harsh world. I pray that you find serenity and balance. Stay strong!

Thank you SO much for this post...this situation relates a lot to my "Damsels In Distress" thread. It's refreshing to hear a guy's side of the story... a frustrated awareness of a pattern. I think you're on the right track...stay focused!

Thanks for the feedback. The romantic in me died on that last blind date...I'll try again someday. I think the group situation is best because if you hit it off, great... if you don't, there's other people to socialize with and you can leave with out too much pressure, hopefully.