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ut_longhorn

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  1. ut_longhorn
    temujin, keep doing what you're doing. especially the exercise and hanging out with friends. in the end, its really alot about time. for me it took about 4 1/2 months before the pain became bearable and not so intense, but. all you can do is keep chugging forward. keep pushing yourself to do novel things. in time you will get better. i know it feels like sometimes that it will never go away, but be patient. it will slowly start to lift.
  2. ut_longhorn
    Hey guys...hope everyone's doing alright. For those of you who don't know my story, basically my ex broke up with me a little over 4 months ago, and its been basically no contact since. i hear around the block that she might be seeing someone new. for some reason when i heard that a few weeks ago, it really helped me to push over some sort of wall and helped me recover some. so for the past couple of weeks i was feeling pretty good about things, and felt good about my road to recovery. then for no good reason, this past week since sunday, i felt like i had been flung into month 1 of the breakup. it hurt like it had just happened and i actually had to go into a private room at work to weep, something i had not done in a very long while. have anyone of you experienced anything like this? a huge setback all of a sudden? i feel a little better today, but this past week is something that i hope i never have again. i really felt desperate. what was that? is that some sort of relapse? is that natural?
  3. ut_longhorn
    sukerbut, I hope you are moving on from your ex fairly well. Although there were many things about my ex that I did love, I am starting to realize the bad things and these are the things that are helping me to move on. Up to even a few weeks ago, all I could think about are the good things that I miss about her, but now, all I'm doing is focusing on her negatives. Not because she was only bad, but to push myelf to completely rid my heart of the longing that I still have for her. It really is starting to make me feel that I am better off without her. I suggest you try not to only focus on her positives only because it will keep you holding on to her for longer. Also, I've read that you are dating someone new. Is this situation fair to your current GF? I'm not judging, just wanted to know where you stand.
  4. ut_longhorn
    love is mysterious.
  5. ut_longhorn
    maintain NC. you must truly let him go. if he knows that you will be there anytime he wants you to be there...there is no reason for him to worry about loosing you. i think he needs to know that there is a real chance of loosing you forever before he can really get worried.
  6. ut_longhorn
    Ok...now I see why you're not healing. Everytime you do this you are hammering your own heart. Basically think of it in terms like this...lets say you have cut yourself deeply and the cut is healing bit by bit. Every time you are looking at pictures, or videos, or contacting him, you are picking at the scab thats forming on the cut. I know you're in pain. But it will start to ease more when you do something other than focus your time on him. do something else when you have a urge to look at his pics or videos. that is not going to do anything for you but pull you backwards.
  7. ut_longhorn
    Im pretty sure the reason you have not been healing solidly is because you have had contact with him until 5 weeks ago. I know how it is to feel the way you do. The pain can be excrutiating at times. But I suggest keep going NC. Keep strong and keep posting. You will slowly start to regain your composure. Good luck.
  8. ut_longhorn
    this is your boyfriend? and he's treating you like this? you should start writing a journal and write down everything that happens. then down the road, you should read your journals and see what's in them. if you find that you dont want to be with the boyfriend that you wrote about in the journals, you should leave him.
  9. ut_longhorn
    so i heard from a friend last night that she believes that my ex gf has a new man. the news hurts, but its not as excruciating as i thought it could be. im trying not to dwell on it but i find myself constantly thinking about it. now i can tell myself it really is over. there is no hope, and there is no chance. my friend last night kept telling me, hey...there is no hope, dont keep holding on to something that is not there. i hope that knowing this piece of information will help me move on faster. i hope it doesn'e set me back too much. how about others that have found out the ex is dating again. did it help, or just hurt?
  10. ut_longhorn
    you should also be asking yourself why you really want to be with this man. do you really love him with your soul...or is it becuase you are lonely and missing the good times. ask yourself.
  11. ut_longhorn
    think of it this way... why hasn's she called you? my best guess is that she is strong in her desire to be apart. what is contacting going to do for you? probably nothing more than make yourself feel worse than you already do...and also give her the simple satisfaction of knowing that you still pine over her. that she can have you whenever she wants. think about it.
  12. ut_longhorn
    i just wanted to bump this thread as it put things into a bit of perspective for me.
  13. ut_longhorn
    butterfly, i dont know what the circumstances of your break up were, but i don't think he should make you feel pressured to get back with him. what's the rush? tell him, that you'll make a decision in ur own time and that you want him to back off some. if he can't, then he doesn't respect your wishes. and if he doesn't respect you now, what makes you think he will when ur back together. take your time...feel him out. i don't see any rush to get back with him. and do not let him pressure you into anything.
  14. ut_longhorn
    give it time. and liie bobo said...let yourself feel the pain. but after feeling it, try not to dwell on all the good things in the relationship. keep focusing on the negative aspects. its hard at first, but then you begin to see the small negatives that were always there. i'm at 3.5 months after the breakup and some days are still very difficult for me, but it really does get better with time.
  15. ut_longhorn
    3.5 months here as well. much better than before, but i still think about her all the time. im trying my best now to convince myself that things are over between her and i with no chance of reconciliation as i know that hope is something that will hold me back from my recovery.
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