Sorry this is happening. When and why did the relationship start deteriorating? It's unclear what the guessing games about your job are about. What is wrong with simple matter of fact communication? You both seem parked in your corners at war hoping the other changes..
It's good you're taking time to reconsider the relationship, but hopefully you're not using "no contact" as a tool to change her. Reflect how long this power struggle is going to go on and try to decide if you would rather be free of these incompatibilities and stress.