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Blue_Skirt

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Blue_Skirt last won the day on March 7 2022

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  • Birthday 06/22/1968

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  1. So do I understand correctly that you (ssa25) are the same person as rissa25? Multiple accounts are not allowed on here.
  2. Just out of interest, have you introduced your boyfriend to your family and friends?
  3. The stories posted by “Lookingformore9”, “feelingletdown” and “tryingtotransition3009” are about a boyfriend who wants the OP to sell her house. They have rented an apartment together but OP still stays at her house during the week since it is a shorter commute to work and the adult daughter has voiced her opinion about the situation with this boyfriend.
  4. So you are both "Liberty bells" and "Lookingformore9"?
  5. Why do I think we have been here before? Are you the same person who wrote these topics under different user names? feelingletdown Is my boyfriend using me or is he being selfish? and tryingtotransition3009 How to deal with transitioning without so much anxiety and angst? I am asking because you mention that you mention your adult daughter and I have this déjà-vu feeling.
  6. First try a simple “No, thank you” and say it with a smile. If there are people who don’t take no for an answer and say, “but it’s home-made, it’s delicious!” you can answer: “I am sure you put a lot of effort in it, but no thank you” and again, you say it with a smile. There are people who will continue to pressure you into trying their food, so you then you say “Listen, I once got very sick when someone brought home-made food and I ate from it, so I decided not to do that anymore and I prefer to eat my own food” and you continue to smile and you don’t engage in any further discussions. The thing is if you say that you are on a special diet, there are these people who start asking questions about your diet. If you say you have allergies, they will say, but my daughter/son/mother/father-in-law have all kind of allergies and their stomach upsets easily, but they never have problems with this dish etc. etc. etc. Stick to your 3-level answer approach and you will be fine. You never have to remember what answer you gave to a person, because it is always the same. When I was in pre-school a child once brought tangerines for their birthday (I can’t even remember anymore whether it was a boy or a girl, I just remember the horrible tangerine, lol). The tangerine was kind of old and it tasted horrible. I can and will never eat tangerines again unless I checked them out in the store and bought them myself. I can be grossed out by “office fridges” but I am mostly disgusted by office dishwashers and the mugs/dishes/glasses not coming out clean. In my former workplace we had a problem like that at some point of time. People used the quickest program at the lowest temperature. Well if things don’t come out clean. I would run the dishwasher again at the highest temperature and then they would say to me: “Blue_Skirt, we want to save water and energy” and I would just say that I prefer to eat from a clean dish and drink from a clean mug.
  7. That is exactly what I meant to say with my post, definitely oversharing, but in this case OP has all the information she needs upfront.
  8. I think this man actually did you a great favor to be so open about his personal life, even though it is not classy to talk about his ex-wife for so long this early on. But now that you know, you don’t have to invest anymore time in him. Typically you find these things out way too late. Then don't date men who has a children / children. I never wanted to have children myself and I never wanted to have a man who either wanted to have children or already had children. It is just wasting both of your valuable time.
  9. I went back to read some of your previous posts. Is this the job in Munich you accepted? Munich is an expensive city and finding an affordable place to live can be difficult. You might look for a place outside the city and travel with public transport as a starting point. Make it your priority to find a place to live and I would ask help from the HR department. The company hired you knowing that you need a VISA, don’t speak German and thus it is clear you need help finding a place. Once you live in Germany, it is easier to find something else. Mylolita is spot on. Keep in touch with the company about your VISA progress. Yes, this is my experience, as I said before, the rules are the rules. Even though people have told you that you can work remotely, even when you have moved to Germany, check whether your employment agreement has a clause about working from home, because personally, I would go by what has been written in the employment agreement. I would generally advise to address people in the formal way Mr / Mrs (“Herr” / “Frau”) using last name only. When speaking to them and you say “you” use the German “Sie”, which is the more respectful way. When work colleagues offer you to call them by their first name, that is a good sign and accept it by thanking them by saying something to the effect of “Thanks, I am <your first name>”. And then you can say “Du” (also you, but the informal way) instead of the formal “Sie”. Don’t expect to receive a “thank you” from your employer for a job well done (because you are being paid for it). Now if you receive a “thank you” that is a good sign! Finally, should you ever leave your job in Germany ask for a “Arbeitszeugnis” (Certificate of employment or a reference letter). The company is obliged to give you one and this is so typically German. I have always been joking to my German friends that I could never get a job in Germany, because I don’t have any reference letters, I think I have only 1, lol.
  10. I live in Europe, not in Germany, but I have worked with German companies professionally for many years. I am fluent in German and I also have friends in Germany. It totally depends on the company, but generally, working remotely is not standard in Germany. Allthough even in Germany things seem to be loosening up a bit now after people have been working from home during the COVID lockdowns. If the company is operating internationally, they might be more open to you working remotely for a bit longer, but otherwise from my experience, things are more strict in Germany, the rules are the rules. What was the deal with the company when you accepted the job? Did they expect you to relocate to Germany? Where in Germany is the company located? Where are you located now? I would advise you to learn German, even if it is in the beginning just the basics, like greetings, thank you etc., that always makes a good first impression with team members. Not everyone in Germany is fluent in English and I have seen many people struggling with English and they were always relieved when they found out that they could speak German with me. Also, and again, it totally depends on the company’s culture, but in more conservative companies, you typically don’t call your managers and even colleagues by the first name, it’s very often on a last name basis. It can be quite formal. Good luck with your new job!
  11. This flight was booked weeks in advance, so it was not a last-minute emergency. I have so many questions. Why can you not organise your own trip / drive yourself to the airport? Why did you book this early flight? Was this the only flight available to your destination or could you have booked a later (and thus perhaps a more expensive) flight in the day? What is the time from his home to your home to pick you up and then to the airport (assuming you do not live together)? What would you have done if you would not have a boyfriend? I am an independent woman and I have a general rule for myself that I don`t ask for help/favours if I can do the things myself. I have always been like this whether I am single or in a relationship. So this drive to the airport would for me fall in the category “can do myself”. This also means that if I ask for help, I really need it. Also, working from home does not mean you can do whatever you want during the day.
  12. Is this an update of the thread “How to deal with transitioning without so much anxiety and angst?” that you wrote under user name tryingtotransition3009?
  13. Yes, upon the death of the Queen, Charles is now automatically King. King Charles III. The Queen was a remarkable woman, may she rest in peace.
  14. I was not simply talking calories in general, but calorie density of foods. If you eat foods with a low calorie density, such as salads, you can eat a lot of salad and have a low calorie intake. If you have a cup of ice cream or a cup of chopped carrots, your stomach will be equally full, but your calorie intake from a cup of carrots is way lower. I think it is best to exchange foods with a high calorie density with food with a low(er) calorie density. That’s why for example I make my own salary dressings and don’t add a lot of oil to my dressings. Same for the example with the airfryer for French fries. I still get to eat French fries every now and then without the fries having been drenched in oil.
  15. Alex, you may want to read up on "calorie density of foods".
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