Raindrop22

You should put this in your own thread. This is a place for successful reconcile stories! It may feel like betrayal but sometimes space is important to figure yourself out. Be grateful that she came back but that she feels like a better person for you now. It's all about gratitude my friend.... Oh and perspective

Make this hurt go away. The anxiety just hit me. So many negative thoughts. It's exhausting me so much. Make the memories go away. I don't need them. It's just so cruel. One by one they come to me and I each one suffocate me. I'm not keeping count of what day NC. I just don't want to know you anymore. I don't want to be your friend and I don't want to hear about you or be around you. There's so much I wish I can say to you but I go here to write them down. This is like a diary collection of broken hearts. I can't wait for this wave to ride out so i can feel normal and me again. It's when I hit rock bottom, I come here and write. Then I feel better and move on and it continues to come in waves. I wonder if you ever loved me at all. I know it's silly and I know you did. My mind they play tricks on me. I'm sorry I wasn't as accepting I am sorry I wasn't patient I'm sorry I took you for granted And I'm sorry I said awful things I'm sorry for hurting you I'm sorry for everything. The loss of us.. you... Is unbearable.

Oh ya I got another story for you guys. It's a girl I knew back from high school. She dated this guy in junior high for a few weeks, he dumped her and they moved on. One day during her senior year of high school she was crying about a breakup that had happened. Her ex from junior high texted her that night and asked her why they never took another chance at being together. Needless to say, they dated, for married 2 years later at 20! And now they are 26.. With 2 beautiful kids and are as happy as can be. They truly are so cute together! One of my favorite love stories.

I feel like I sound like a broken record now. Talking about my hurt is starting to annoy even myself. Part of me is still in disbelief. Part of me is looking forward. Part of me is riding the wave of this. And part of me wants to not care anymore. I love him enough to let him go. Peacefully. I am not fighting it or begging or making a big scene. Quietly slip away... Silence. I'm hurt. But I'll be okay.

Aww well at least we are all in the right place. It's not easy that's for sure but it's so nice to have people going through something similar to talk to about this. I also tried talking to others but my heart was absolutely not in it.

Dear ex, I have been trying to find reasons to be angry at you. I guess I couldn't find much. You've been a big part of my life and I am trying to have as much dignity to leave you be. I love you so much that I am respecting this decision. It hurts me everyday. I thought it was suppose to get better. It just comes in waves. I don't think we could ever be friends because I'll always love you in this way. I am sorry for pushing you away. I am sorry for taking you for granted. This has been so painful and although you've told me that you're not getting rid of all chance of return, I feel I don't deserve it. I feel like I didn't treat you the way you deserved and I am so sorry. I know I was a mess but I'm picking up the pieces and getting it together. You did so much and endured a lot. I am sorry every day. Thank you for treating me so good and letting me know what it feels like to be loved and cherished that way. I keep beating myself up for losing someone like you. I can't believe I didn't recognize all the signs and I wish I had taken it more seriously. You leaving was good in that it's given me a wake up call. I'm sad to have lost my best friend. And now I'm going to find me. Again, I am sorry for all your heart had to endure. Love always, B

Reading through this thread, I've come to realize I get bad anxiety from it. So I'm not going to read others post on here but will post my own from time to time. I'm in no way healed. BU was a month ago. I am in a lot of pain. Today was hardest on me then any other days the last week. I try to suppress memories because they hurt. I can't help but think of negatives but I know it's my mind being silly. I'm working on myself but at the same time I'm being gentle. I keep telling myself positive affirmations and I keep reading through some positive threads I've found on here. I'm grateful for everyone's help on here. It hasn't been easy and I don't know much longer this pain will last but i do trust time heals and I do trust that I'll be fine. The mornings are the worst. I wake up and feel depressed. Before bed I get "okay". It's hard to go cold turkey no contact from someone I love so very much.

I had been so caught up in my own emotions and healing that I forgot about a particular story of a family friend that shared this story with me. We will call the guy Matt and the lady Jen. So Matt and Jen were so in love, got married and had a baby on the way. After the baby was born they had a lot of conflicts with one another. They just fought a lot and bud heads a lot. Matt told me that he was very stubborn and was young and didn't compromise. She finally decided to leave him when their daughter was about 6. They divorced. Yikes. He said he was a mess! He tried dating and looking around but every girl was meaningless. Jen met somebody and dated him and they even lived together. He began to get abusive and one night he almost killed her. He beat her, bruised her, broke her bones in front of the 6 year old. So sad! The little girl was the one who called the police and the mom was rushed to the hospital. Matt was called to the hospital and he was devastated by what happened. He tried to be there for her as a friend and it was hard on him. She was finally released from hospital and was to be put on bed rest. Matt moved in to help around the house, take care of the kid, and take care of feeding Jen. During this process, they fell in love with each again and decided to give it another shot. They just got remarried about 2 years ago and I never seen a couple more happy. They always seem so in sync. Matt was telling me that even though she left. He let her go. He loved her so much and knew she was his soul mate but he let her go because that's how much he cared and loved her. He respected her wishes and did all he could to get by. It killed him inside but he lived on doing the best he could. He told me the old line "if you love something let it go". He felt like the universe brought her back to him. He's a changed man and even went through therapy during his difficult time. He just went on and on about how much he adores her and their little family. They have been through so much but now they are together. It was a week before their wedding. I was sitting with the wife and asked her how she felt about being with him again. She told me that life takes you by surprise and sometimes you lose sight of who loves you most and would do anything to protect you, take care of you, and be there through thick and thin. She chuckled and I'll never forget that twinkling look in her eyes. She said "I can't believe I'm marrying my ex husband next week. I feel so silly saying that but he's my true love. He never left my side. He respected my wishes when I left and gave me the space I needed. He showed me love in ways I never knew existed". This story fills my heart up. I love them both and truly feel like true love always finds its way. What's meant to be will be. I also wanted to note that Jen never had gigs. She just couldn't take the fighting anymore. It seems like he's calmed a lot. Matt is just so much more easy going now. He says working out changed his life. It was an outlet for him and it caused them to fight way less. I think she was with the abusive guy for a year. And I believe Matt and Jen were split up for 2-3 years. He was a friend to her when she needed it and they had a kid together so there was some contact. They didn't hangout a lot or anything. Just limited contact and sometimes friendly conversion as friends.

I haven't posted here in a few days. The feelings are still coming to me in waves. I feel sad, then angry, then confused! At times I feel guilty for feeling angry because he wasn't a jerk or did anything wrong per se. It was pretty amicable I think. He has no idea. I been NC and just been pretty emotional. Keeping it to myself and friends and family. I'm regaining the weight I lost during the first week of the breakup. It's incredible how much weight is lost during traumatic events for those who lost appetite. I am already small as it is so it was actually very scary. I had to be on bed rest a few days because I felt weak. The only thing I craved was cornbread. How silly? I am better now though. Regained my strength and appetite. I am angry at him for leaving. I am angry because he has the power to make me feel this way. I am angry because the breakup was too peaceful so I have nothing to feel more anger towards him other then the fact he ended this relationship. I sometimes wish it was something crazy so I can have that to hold onto for closure. I wonder if he misses me but is too stubborn and full of pride to reach out. He is admittedly that way. I wonder if I cross his mind. I been praying everyday and have my positive books by my night stand. ENA has been my biggest support and comfort through these dark times. I will always love him. Forever in my heart. I am going to work on forgiving him and letting go of all resentments. Hopefully this sadness phase will go away already. I need some peace in my heart. Reading everyone else's threads and posts makes me feel less alone. So many broken hearts out there, I can't even imagine. We will make it through this. What's truly meant to be, will be. Aint no doubt about it. Whether you're holding onto hope. Know that you gotta have faith in yourself first. Be uniquely you and love the crap out of you. Let the ex know what they are missing out on. You are all brilliant and have so much love to give. Start by loving you. This may very well be the first step in attracting your love (old or new). Exes come back. We live in a technological world. It's easy to find one another or get ahold of one another these days. They come back but you have to want them back for the right reason. If they cheated or did something so against your morals. Find it in your heart to move on to something better. If it is something fixable (need growing up, behaviors, communication, commitment) then by all means, you can still love someone and move on. Moving on doesn't mean letting go. It just means you're ready to carry on your life forward. If they appear, they appear! If not, then you're still living. Don't let a broken heart stop you from living the life you dream. If you got no goals, make some! Add some umf to your life. We can't stay on this state of sadness forever. At some point we have to pick ourselves up because why spend the next 6 months in misery waiting for reconciliation when you could have gotten that cool job, new apartment, badass tattoo, big vacation, and/or gone on few innocent dates during that time. If they decide to come back. They would come back to a new you that they'd have to re-learn. You'd be exciting, have stories to tell, and be full of happiness. Not misery! You're not alone. I am also broken hearted. Heck, I feel AWFUL. I don't want to get out of bed. I dread stepping outside. I can't even talk to someone. My friends are all out drinking and partying. I'm avoiding alcohol at all cost. I been talking to new friends on here. I even started therapy. I can't listen to music yet but when I do, it's Adele! Why? Because I need to cry it out. You want a good cry? Seriously listen to "Don't you remember" by Adele. Soul crusher right there. It's totally okay to do this guys! Be as sad as you need to be but know that the sun is rising and setting. The world is moving on with or without you. You'll have to re-invite yourself back to the world and begin living. Reinvent yourself. Evolve. Metamorphosize. You're a clean slate! Hope this helped anyone else out there.

Mrsin627- aw I'm sorry! That's so sad to not only lose your love but also someone else who meant a lot to you. A double whammy indeed. I hope in time you'll find peace. Sending lots of positive healing power your way.

Your story is one of my favorites. I had a kick out of reading the whole thing! I felt like it was a theatrical play or something. I literally forgot I was dealing with heartbreak myself because I was consumed by the emotions that occurred throughout your journey. You really evolved and I'm so happy for how things unfolded for you. True love always find its way. You just have to trust the process and believe in yourself first. Loving yourself and having confidence is incredibly attractive! You truly can tell just walking down a busy street if someone has that spark or not. I always use to say, fill your cup, your partner should only be over flowing it My heart goes out to your mom during this emotional time. She's entering a new chapter of her life and saying goodbye to the old can be heart wrenching. A big hug to mama! Thank you for continuing to share your journey in life. It's real, raw, and truth! Love it!

2 months of no contact. He thinks you've likely moved on and he's likely just being a friend. Just let him go if you can't stand the confusion. It'll only drive you crazy.

He did set you free though. You're free right now. You're no longer his girl. He let you go! Just texts and comments aren't anything other than breadcrumbs. Don't think too much into it. Walk away like a boss lady and say whatever this is bull crap and go.

I am thinking of starting a healing journal on here but I don't know yet. Hmm! I have a hand written journal already. But it'd be nice to reach out to others on here to hold me accountable and to help others as well. Hmmmmmm

Try private messaging me if you can. I know what it means to sound like a broken record. I feel the same way at this point. All I keep doing is over analyzing and thinkin a lot about it. For you it's been 2 months. For me it's been a little over 3 weeks. It's one of the hardest things but we will be stronger cause of it. Right now it's a denial phase. We are over analyzing because we are stuck in denial. We don't want to believe it is OVER. We hold onto hope, chance, love, feelings, emotions, them. It's hard to cut the chord on something when it's all you wanted but the other person stepped away. It's hard to accept what they decided because we don't agree. The last thing I said to my ex, was hard and believe me I cried my ass off. I said "I accept your decision and stand by it because if you feel it is right, it must be. I don't want to argue or fight anymore about who is right or wrong. This is a decision I will stand by you on. And accept it even if I don't agree. Because that's what love is". Ok so I didn't say exactly those words but something like that. Sounds pity-ful now that I think back on it. Oh well. I think I'm inbetween angry and sad. Whatever that means! PM! I'd love to have a breakup buddy system to help through this .