Celeste

Also, it might be because someone has put ideas in his head about you. Some people cannot grasp that being gay does not mean you are a supersexual, nympho trying to get all he/she can. Ignorance is everywhere my friend. He could just be questioning is own masculinity or sexuality. Talk to him about your concerns.....that's what friends do. Good luck! ps. Do not ask him if he's questioning his sexual orientation..... if he is he will offer that insight when he's ready.

I can't argue with those warning signs. Your girlfriend should be proud of your committment and not hiding it. Either she wants to have her cake (you) and eat it too (other men), or she is in serious need of attention and self introspection. There are several reasons why she prefers to spend time with male friends. Women can be very catty, and thus uninteresting. Conversely, they can also force you to look at yourself and your actions in a way that "man friends" do not. Judging by the fact that many of these men are her ex's (of some kind or another), I'm willing to bet the latter is true. Though I don't usually approve of them, I think it's ultimatum time....either she treats you like her partner, or you move on to someone who will. In truth, it sounds to me as though she is indeed cheating....why else hide a mate? Good luck to you

I don't know how else to say this, but if she wanted to be with you, she would make the time. She would ditch previous committments just to chat with you online or on the phone. You deserve some one who wants you for you, not just what you do for her ie. ego boost. Think long and hard about her flaws.....this is a way of easing an obsession.

First.......do not contact her parents. I have had ex's do this with the very best of intentions, but it has always served to annoy me. My mother still brings it up years later about how "poor Ty" or "poor Jared' called her to thank her for her kindness (seeing as my mother is a lunatic....this was even more annoying). I know you see it as the mature and respectful thing to do, and it is, but the end result is less favourable. If you feel you must say something, try appearing somewhere you know they will be and let it appear to ahve been natural or coincidence. Secondly, she sounds like a very confused young lady and you have every right to feel betrayed, naive and hurt. I had adored a man for years, and when I was twenty-four he came to visit, planted a wonderful kiss on my lips and proceeded to break with his girlfriend of five years. I panicked, and ran away and our friendship has never recovered. I was not ready for a real man at that point, and your ex, having a young child, a mature boyfriend (you), may have felt the same......it was all too adult for her. Yes, many women do love a good chase. It's the ones who hide their feelings who make us crazy, but crazy is not love. It takes time to realize that, and also to become bored with self destructive behaviour. Let her go. Try and find a woman who has it a little more together. This doesn't necessarily mean older, but more focussed. Good luck to you.

I'm going to agree with Owl here. I know it's hard to let someone go before you are ready to, and it will take work. As for his "not telling you if he cares".....anyone who loved you would want your happiness, thus he would do what he felt was right to achieve that. His ambiguity allows for you to hope and him to continue the sexual relationship. I see that his friendship is important to you, but right now it is only hurting you. You do not see him as a "friend". You need to get away from him for awhile and clear your head. If you must communicate, leave it to the telephone. Think about the relationship....what you have learned from it. Are there things you feel were lacking (and don't put all the blame on yourself - it's never that simple)? Start thinking about what would make you happy in a partner and find ways to go after that. At the end of the day, have a good cry, and wake up thinking about all the new and wonderful things that will happen in your life. Take care. Celeste

Thank you all for your responses. I think I was just going through a faze in response to getting married - something i thought I would never do. I want to keep my partner more than my sexual freedom, and am working out ways to exhaust my uneasiness at being a married feminist. Thanks again for your help......I really appreciate it. Celeste

It seems as though you treated your girlfriend witha great deal of love and respect. This could not have gone unnoticed and likely contributed to her lying to you and saying she was "fine". Having been through several break-ups I can tell you that leaving the nice guys is definitely the hardest. I too would lie for months and say that all was well. However, the reason I lied, and this should help you understand and move on, was that I truly hoped that my feelings would pass. I recognized how lucky I was to have such a great guy, and downed on myself for not being happy. I figured that the longer I put off saying something, the more time my feelings would have to change. Women are titled as emotional, moody beings, and this also comes into play. Sometimes we think our own emotions are betraying or lying to us, and we challange them. You have a right to feel angry and betrayed, but she likely did not lie to you in order to hurt you, but in the hope that telling your the truth would one day be wholly unnecessary. She may very well have hoped that her misgivings were fleeting. Good luck with your recovery. Celeste

HI, I'm 28 years old and recently married to a wonderful guy who treats me very well. The problem is that since I took my vows, my extra-cirricular sex drive has gone into over drive. Since x-mas I have slept with two of my ex-boyfriends and have had naughty dreams about another friend. I relish the thrill of long, hungry kisses that one usually only gets from a new or forbidden lover. Though my deeds haunt me, I don't want to confess for fear of losing my partner. I do love him. However, I don't see my desires and behaviour changing much. Am I a thrill junkie? Am I a monster? What is wrong with me? Please help. Celeste