1 week into no contact and its made me realize alot about her. she hasnt texted me because my last message to her said not to ever text or call me. but im starting to realize that im impatient. She really was/is going through lots. last time her friend contacted me about 4 days ago, she told me that her mother and father wanted a divorce and were going through that whole thing.. and shes got so much more going on its crazy. I think shes really focusing on her family right now rather than anything else. I feel that the way i left her was wrong. That i should have waited out on the break and gave her space to sort things out on her own. I feel like ill be calling/contacting her towards the end of this month. For someone like her, i feel guilty and wrong to tell her to never text or call me. And me knowing her, she probably took it so offensively that she really never will contact me.
Within the next 7-10 days, i want to study myself and my thought process to see if im using this "guilt" reason as an excuse to contact her again, or if i really feel that way.
For now, i really do feel guilty, but i want to be sure before i make any moves. Maybe my mind and my heart are just going against eachother and my heart is telling me that im guilty just so i can have a reason to contact her again... i dont know. Ill see. its confusing not knowing what shes doing or who shes with..