jmann45

Day 7 today. saw some guy driving her car and I'm pretty sure it was her in the passenger seat. I was doing okay until I saw that. I knew she was starting to date other people and I thought she was seeing her ex which made the break up not as bad and was understandable , but that guy didn't look like her ex. just sucks to know that she's probably seeing someone new whose better than me. I'm just kinda depressed. I've been going out on dates but the few months I spent with her, I actually enjoyed so much that these new girls just seem so boring. I don't know what to do. How can someone move on so fast and never keep in touch to see if the other person is even doing okay.

Ended up texting her tonight asking her if everythings okay. she replied right away saying yes and asked how im doing. i didnt reply. The reason i felt the need to text her is in pure care. It was driving me crazy as to how she was doing and how everythings going. I wanted to call her friend so bad to ask if shes okay and if shes still even alive. But instead i just thought ide text her and see how everything is. after she replied that shes been okay, it made me calm. Now i just dont know what to do. I am going no contact again. at least i know shes doing okay.

1 week into no contact and its made me realize alot about her. she hasnt texted me because my last message to her said not to ever text or call me. but im starting to realize that im impatient. She really was/is going through lots. last time her friend contacted me about 4 days ago, she told me that her mother and father wanted a divorce and were going through that whole thing.. and shes got so much more going on its crazy. I think shes really focusing on her family right now rather than anything else. I feel that the way i left her was wrong. That i should have waited out on the break and gave her space to sort things out on her own. I feel like ill be calling/contacting her towards the end of this month. For someone like her, i feel guilty and wrong to tell her to never text or call me. And me knowing her, she probably took it so offensively that she really never will contact me. Within the next 7-10 days, i want to study myself and my thought process to see if im using this "guilt" reason as an excuse to contact her again, or if i really feel that way. For now, i really do feel guilty, but i want to be sure before i make any moves. Maybe my mind and my heart are just going against eachother and my heart is telling me that im guilty just so i can have a reason to contact her again... i dont know. Ill see. its confusing not knowing what shes doing or who shes with..

Today is day 5 NC. i feel like my days go like this.... -dreaming about her -wake up thinking about her -facing the fact throughout the day that we are broken up now -towards the end of the day im feeling better -before i sleep, ive faced the facts and feel like moving on now... -go to sleep -wake up thinking about her again. its getting annoying. i dont get why this is happening. i have to talk to myself every morning. losing appetite. dont feel like getting out of bed every morning. missed 2 of my classes the other day. Not really focused at work.. but im trying my hardest.

I accept this challenge. She said she wanted a break on march 28th. she contacted me here and there throughout and i think i contacted her once up until saturday night. She texted me and we talked for a few minutes, i said goodnight. didnt get anything back. that bugged the crap out of me. Called her, asked her if everything in her "break" is going okay. she said yea. asked her if she needs the relationship. she agreed that it isnt a right time for a relationship for her. No contact started sunday. It hurt like hell on sunday. unfollowed her on instagram. she has her facebook de activated so cant do much there. Cant stop thinking about her. the breakup was very vague on her part and she didnt talk much. it was more confusing than anything. its only day 2. miss her so bad. messaged her "best friend" and asked her to talk to me in private just so i can clear things up in my own head. She said she respects that and will text me when she has time. Im mainly confused on whether she really just wanted space or if it was another person. my thread and story are I hope this is worth it. last i texted her 2 days ago, i told her to forget any plans we had made too (trips, dances, ect) and to never text back or call, to keep anything she has of mine. and to "have a great life (