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soulsista29

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  1. I caught up with 3 friends from university recently, 3 of us are mums now. It was the first time all of us had been together for 5 years. I was looking forward to it. I needed a night out. I had alot on my mind and wanted to share things with them. However I feel like throughout the night friend A talked a lot about herself and only really asked friend B questions (whom she is closest to). When friend C and I would say something we would get cut off by friend A and she would somehow redirect the conversation to herself. Friend A did not ask me or friend C how we were going. She didn’t ask me about work or the kids or family. Yet I could tell you about all that’s going on in her life. I didn’t even get a chance to talk much to friend C. I was really wanting to catch up with her as I had not seen her in a long time. Friend A also complained a lot about being a mum and I know us mums do complain but it seemed she was working full time to get away from her kids. She had the option of working part time and finances are not an issue for her. I work part time so I can pick up the kids from school and attend school things and I’m fine with that. Friend B asked how I was going but by that point we were walking out and I lied as I didn’t feel comfortable discussing my issues to the group (or to friend A who doesn’t seem to want to listen to me). I came home from the dinner feeling rather depressed and upset that I wasn’t heard and questioning my future friendship with friend A. Am I right to feel this way?
  2. I don’t normally exchange Xmas gifts with a particular close friend. Instead we normally catchup before Xmas over dinner and drinks at a nice restaurant. I’m fine with this. In November she suggested we exchange gifts this year. It sounded like she wanted to exchange gifts as she had a gift for me in mind. I was a bit reluctant as it meant another gift to buy but I agreed to it as she is a good friend and I do like buying gifts for her. Anyway I put thought into it and bought her a gift. We are catching up tomorrow and today I get a text message from her saying ‘I couldn’t find you a gift, let’s not exchange gifts this year.’ I’m thinking ***? It was your idea to give gifts. I was happy with just going out to a restaurant and spending time with her. And also why tell me last minute? I replied with ‘I already bought your gift’ then she replies with ‘ok I’ll get you something.’ Now I feel pissed off at her. Why did she suggest giving gifts? To receive a gift?
  3. My ex and I broke up a year ago. The first few months were hard. It then got better and life was getting back on track. I was over him (thats what I thought anyway) I have not contacted him since we broke up. Although I still see him online on MSN but dont talk to him. I dont know why but I checked his profile on Friendster and checked his blog on MSN. I found out he had a new gf, he graduated and now he's working and living overseas. I feel as though he has moved on and changed his life so much and I am unable to do so. He has a new gf. I feel I am not ready to date yet. I tell my friends that I am not dating bc I am enjoying single life (which I am) but I sometimes feel that it may be bc I am not truly over him. I thought I was. I also cant believe he is working and living overseas. I would never have imagined he could do that. Maybe I just cant believe myself doing that. I dont know. Why do I have to know whats going on in his life? It just makes me more depressed. Why is it that he has completely changed his life while I am stuck not moving forward in my life?
  4. My ex and I broke up about 10 months ago. The first few months were hard. I did not talk to him at all. I talked to him maybe 2 times on MSN messenger in the first couple of months after we broke up. I got over him. I dont want him back. The problem is that a couple of weeks ago I was on MSN and saw he had updated his blog so I decided to check it out. I found out that he had a new girlfriend. I was a little jealous. And then I had this feeling like we had just broken up the day before. I was depressed, upset. And just then I looked up his profile in Friendster and I saw a photo of both of them together. Why am I doing this? Why am I upset? Dont know. I mean I dont want him back. I deserve better. He was my first boyffriend and we had a 4 yr relationship. I guess Im just angry at myself that I am unable to move on and he is able to move on so easily. I havent felt like Im ready to date again just yet. Im not ready. I guess its just me and I dont know what I really want which is a good thing, right? So whats wrong with me? Do I still like him? How can I get 100% over him?
  5. Its been 9 months after he brokeup with me. The first few months esp the first month was hard. But I distracted myself by going out with friends and making new ones in my new job. Things were going well then after a couple of months I felt I was back at square one, it was like he broke up with me the day before. But I recovered somehow and continued on with life. So for the past few months I feel like I'm a zombie just getting through life - getting up, going to work, come home, sleep, go out on weekend, cycle continues. Im bored with my life. By the way I havent spoken to him since we broke up, have only contacted a couple of times. So he's still on my msn messenger list and I occasionally check it (and other ppls) to see if they have updated their blog. He had so I checked it. I have no idea why I did. Anyway it showed photos of his graduation and his new girlfriend. And now I feel upset. Im not upset that we broke up. I wanted it as well. Im upset because he's been able to move on so much easier than me. I also feel that he cheated on me with this girl but I'll never know for sure. I feel Im not ready to date again yet. I feel that if I do, I'll always compare the new guy to my ex. What should I do?
  6. After my first yr at uni I decided I didnt want to go back to study medicine. I dont think I could cope. I dont know how I got into the science field. Because I was good at it in school? I dont love it. I want to own my own business, but what kind and how? I also want to do graphic design but more as a hobby. But if I do further my study in a different field, I feel that I have wasted the last 4 yrs at uni.
  7. I feel I have no direction to where I'm going in life. Heres a bit of background : I finished high school with >90% score. I wanted to do medicine but couldnt get in so I decided to do the next best thing at the time, Biomedical Science which is just a science degree but more towards biology. After a couple yrs of that I (and others) realised that the course was exactly like a science degree with a major in the biology. The thing is for Biomed Sci we needed to get >90% and for Science we only needed in abotu 70%. I feel like I have wasted my degree. I should have done a double degree because i had the marks for it. Anyway so I completed my degree and went on to do an honours degree (1 yr) bc it was easier to get a job. And now one yr after I am a Research Assistant for a medical institute. I have wondered about furthering my career in the science field but I dont think I want to stay in Science forever. My friends from uni have all gone to do a PhD which is another 3 yrs. Because I dont want to stay in science I have not gone down that path. But the thing is many people keep telling me to do a PhD eg my supervisor at work says Im very capable, parents (only bc they want me to come out as a Dr), and my friends that are doing their PhD. I dont know what I want to do. I know that when I was younger these were the types of jobs I though of doing: doctor, lawyer, doing something in IT, runnning a business, graphic designer, architect. Not once did I think of becoming a scientist. So how did I end up here? I know Im young (Im only 22) but I dont want yr after yr passing by and still being stuck in the same job with no direction. Also people have asked me what I want in life (not career wise). Family? Kids? I dont know. I was with a guy for 4 yrs (broke up before I started work) and I never once though (or could imagine) getting married and having kids with him. I know I am not ready now but what happens if by the time I really want kids, its too late. So after about 10 months of being single I have not felt like I am ready to go out into the dating world yet. My friends seem to always meet new people but I am not. Im feeling lonely and clueless. I feel so lost.
  8. My parents are thinking about going to Malaysia for holiday (we live in Australia). Im not sure if i want to go. My parents are Malaysian and my sisters and I were born in Australia. We go to Malaysia to visit relatives every 4 yrs or so. We just went back last Christmas and now they're proposing to go back again this Christmas. I dont want to go b/c all we do there is visit relatives that dont know our names, they dont even care who we are. To me they're not even my family. Its really boring. Reasons for wanting to go is to shop (much cheaper over there) and we may go to Phuket which would be cool. Another reason for going is that I dont want to spend Christmas here alone. Even if my sisters dont go, Christmas will just be with them. I dont want to be alone during that time. I dont know what to do. I need to give them an answer soon. SHould I go overseas this CHristmas or not?
  9. Its been over 4 weeks since we my ex broke up with me. Apart from a couple of emails in the first month, i have had no contact with him. I have been thinking about him alot lately. 2 months ago i was going great, starting a new life - new frens, new job. But then i started to feel depressed. I feel that i've also broken up with his group of frens. I was part of their group and i thought i was one of them but it seems that they only saw me as 'his gf'.Im not sure if I'm missing my ex or missing the idea of having a bf. I mean i do miss my ex, we chatted on the fone nearly every day and now we dont talk to each other at all. I scared i'll bump into him one day and have no idea wat to say or how to act towards him. My question is 'how long should nc last? and should i call him or wait for him to call me?
  10. nubianlove, he broke up with me bc i was not a gd enough gf for him...he blamed me for our relationship ending.... the thing is i was thinking about ending it with him the next time i saw him..the last time i saw him i sort of new it was over already...i guess we had just grown apart... he did it over the fone bc he is a coward...he didnt want to do it in person bc he couldnt face me bc he knew id be upset...we had been together for 4 yrs, he at least owned it to me to break up with me in person...i would have.... so anyway thanks for the comments so far...i think im not quite ready to talk to him...i feel im not totally over him yet...i'll just give it some time...
  11. My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. We had been in a relationship for nearly 4 yrs. He broke it off with me over the phone and I was really angry and upset with him at the time. I have had no verbal contact with him for 3 months. During the first month we chatted a couple of times on MSN as though we were friends. To me it felt fake and weird. When he broke it off with me he said he wanted to remain friends. To me a friend is someone you talk to regularly, someone you can go to when you need help, otherwise they are more like acquaintaines, right? So when he wanted to remain friends I thought he wanted to be 'friends' not acquaintainces. We have not talked to each other, not even on the fone since the break up. I want to be his friend but I dont want to be the one to make the first move if you know what i mean. I want to keep my pride. I feel that I am getting over him slowly and having no contact with him helps. But he was a big part of my life for 4 yrs. How can I just erase him from my life? So should I call him or wait for him to call me? What should I do?
  12. so my ex and i broke up 1 month ago, as some of u may have read in a previous post, he broke up with me over the phone and we havent talked since... i wrote him an email a few days after we broke up to tell him how i felt and he replied... also about 2 weeks ago he started chatting to me on msn, like we were friends or something, talking about anything, i then told him i was still upset with him... the thing is he said he wanted to remain friends...at first i said i didnt know if i wanted to be friends bc of how he broke up with me but now i do want still be his friend and i told him that in an email.... so if he was the one that wanted to be friends in the first place how come he hasnt called? i want to call him but he was the one that broke it off with me so shouldnt he call? also i dont want to call, i guess sort of a pride thing...i dont know...and also i think i may let emotions involved if i do... so is it time we meet up and chat? we used to talk every nite now i havent talked to him at all.........what should i do???
  13. so i had been going out with this guy for nearly 4 years...he recently came back from an overseas trip and a few days later he broke up with me...(about a week ago)...i guess i was ok with the breakup ie not that upset bc i sort of wanted to break up with him anyway..the thing is i was very upset and angry that he had to break up with me over the phone...can u believe it...i mean did i not mean anything to him...i feel like he didnt care about me at all...and when we did break up he said he wanted to be friends and i told him i wasnt sure what i wanted bc of how he broke up with me....i felt that he shouldnt of done that to me, i feel like ive lost a little respect for him and maybe he wasnt worth it anyway... i wrote him an email telling how i felt after a few days and told him that i did want to be friends with him, that i couldnt imagine him cut out of my life, i mean he knows me too well... so its been just over a week now and i feel like i should call him...im afraid that i will bump into him this weekend and seeing and talking to him for the first time since the break up will be odd....so should i wait for him to call?? or should i call him???
  14. My bf has been overseas for 2 months studying and on holiday. I miss him alot. We have been going out for nearly 4 yrs now and this time apart is the longest we've had to endure. He is coming back on saturday morning and I am unable to pick him up from the airport as I dont have the car. Instead I am going to catch up with a friend (a guy) for lunch and watch dvds at his place. I dont have feelings for this guy, he's just a friend and I think he thinks of me as 'just a friend'. I am planning on catching up with my bf later in the evening. The thing is I feel like I'm doing something wrong, like I'm cheating or something. I feel like I should be picking him up from the airport and spending time with my bf as soon as he gets back. Am I just being stupid?
  15. I've been going out with my bf for nearly 4 yrs now. I started going out with him when i started university and now I have finished. I sometimes feel like I have wasted my uni yrs by not getting out much and being too attached to my boyfriend. Right now my boyfriend is overseas, he will be back in the next few weeks. He has been overseas for 2 months and this is the first time we have been apart for so long. It was hard at first but Im coping. Also, I have a social life bc of my bf. When I go, I go out with him or with him and his friends. I rarely go out with my own friends bc we've lost contact. I cant picture myself with him for the rest of my life. I cant imagine myself being married at all or maybe I just cant picture myself being married to him. Ive been feeling like this for the past yr or so. My dad doesnt like him bc he thinks hes not good enough for me, education wise. I have graduated from uni and hes still in uni, unsure of what he wants and failing subjects. I sometimes think my dad is right. What should I do? I know that being smart isnt everything but I dont know. I feel I should break up with him when he comes back, but I dont know what to do. I feel that if I continue to go out with him, I wont be able to back down. I mean we've been together for 4 yrs, thats a long time. What should I do? Should I continue to go out with him and hope that my mind will change? Or should I break up with him? Any advice??
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