loveandlive

This is not getting any easier, it's really getting harder. This NC is killing me... have you even realized yet that I've blocked you? I guess you don't care, because if you did, all you had to do was e-mail me. Why are you so selfish? You hurt me numerous times by lying, then had the audacity to take another girl to that resort in my city the day after we broke up. How can you not see how cruel and disgusting that is? I don't care that you're single, it's still wrong. And is that why you wanted to break up? No matter what you say, I feel you pushed the break up so you could go with someone else, to see if the grass was greener. Then realized it wasn't, came back to me and wanted to work things out with me, but push the easy button and think I'll never find out you did that. You scumbag. Every time I miss you, I remind myself that you are sick in the head. I can't understand how someone can repeatedly lie to the face of someone they love and care about, talk about marriage and babies with... over and over without feeling disgusted when they even look themselves in the mirror. I let you get away with it several times and finally I'm standing up for myself. It's sad, because I always knew I deserved better, but my love for you kept me going. We were great aside from your untrustworthiness. But unfortunately that's enough to permanently end a relationship. You obviously don't care because you kept doing it. Why was I not good enough for you to stop lying to me? Why did you feel the need to do that? Why do you like attention from other girls? It hurts so bad that you continued this bad behavior... and now we can never be again. It kills me that you chose this, not me. I gave you enough chances and you blew it. I wish this would get easier for me already. I feel you've probably already jumped to the next girl because you can't stand to be alone, meanwhile I'm still suffering. I don't know when I'll ever trust another guy again. I don't know when I'll ever be able to put myself out there again... you've broken me, Congratulations for being the first. And hopefully for you, I will be the only one that got away. I think a part of you has already realized that, but I hope over time when you realize I'm not talking to you anymore and haven't in a while, then it will hit you. I hope it officially hits you when I've officially moved on from you.

Please get out of my head and leave me alone

The days just keep getting longer... and the mornings I'm feeling worse than ever. This silence is absolutely killing me. I know I've blocked you only a few days ago on my phone, but I really thought I was going to hear from you from e-mail (or at least I hoped). I'm starting to wonder if blocking you was the best thing. I know it's good for many reasons, but for others it makes me feel worse about myself. It makes me feel like you don't care if you talk to me or no. I feel so abandoned, discarded, thrown out... I hate this feeling You went from reaching out every single day, to not at all since I blocked you. Well, I don't know if you have but I figured if you were trying to get a hold of me then you would have e-mailed me. Maybe you got the hint since I blocked you. I know I'm being selfish for wanting to hear from you still, even though I made the decision to block you. But you made the decision to continue lying to me, continue hurting me, and then replace me a day after we broke up. Do you understand how hurtful all this is to me? Why would you choose to do this to us? I don't know when the day will come that I will accept this break up. Although I know it's for the best, because I deserve to be with an honest, trust worthy man. But it still hurts, because I wanted that man to be you. So badly. I tried helping you... Why would you continue lying knowing the consequences? I seriously don't get it. And what really hurts, is after the break up we talked about your lies and rebuilding trust... and I asked you or told you maybe you should try and figure out and understand why you've lied to me in the past. Because I felt if you knew the reason or understood it, it might help you from doing it again. Instead, you got defense and said no because you know to just not do it again. You acted like it was that simple. Then I called your bluff reminding you that if it were that simple, then why did you do it again? And what really stings, in the middle of this conversation, you were still lying to me about being at that resort alone. Disgusting! Do you have a serious problem with lying? Or did you just feel the need to do that with me because you didn't care? I want answers and feel like I'll just never get them I didn't want this... but now I feel you did because I can't understand why you would continue to do things that would only break a relationship, not fix it. I'm hurting so badly

Today I feel defeated. I finally blocked your number and deleted you from my phone. I have no idea if you've tried contacting me and either got the hint, don't care or haven't realized it. Either way I'll never know unless you e-mail me. I tend to believe at this point you don't care. Even though yesterday morning before you were blocked completely you told me you don't want to close the door, you miss me and love me. How can you love me, but the day after breaking up with me you take another girl to that resort down the road from me? You knew there was a good chance I could have shown up there. You still didn't care though and still went with her. Then lied to my face repeatedly telling me all kinds of stories that you went alone to get clarity. Such a liar. All you did to me during our relationship was lie over and over. You made me feel so loved and I thought we were so great together, then to find out that several things you said or did was lies was just a slap in my face. I'm more hurt by you than anyone I've ever been with. I feel abandoned, replaced and thrown out like I meant nothing to you. No matter how much you tell me how much I mean/t to you and how much you love me and want a future with me, your actions tell me quite the opposite. Who are you?! I feel like I don't know you at all and you aren't the man I fell in love with or thought you were. My heart is broken into a million pieces and it will take ages to put it back together. You promised to never hurt me, to never lie again, that you wouldn't treat me like my ex. You won. You by far beat them all times a million. I can't believe this is it. No matter what, I can never be with you again. I've lost all trust and respect for you. You obviously don't respect me either or I don't feel like you would have done what you did over and over. It kills me to think about you with any other girl, especially going back to an ex. Do you even care to think about me with another guy? I hate this...

You won, congratulations. Your constant reaching out to me got to me once again. But I finally blocked your number and deleted you from my phone so that's it. I hope that if you reach out again, it will say something so you know I blocked you or changed my number. Now you have to e-mail me if you want to ever get a hold of me again. Are you happier now? You make it seem you want me so badly, you want us, you love me and miss me so badly... then you disappear for a while. What the hell is that all about?! I don't think you realize how bad it was for you to lie to me repeatedly, then find a girl to take to that resort the day after we broke up. You are disgusting! How can you seriously not feel something terrible inside by doing such a thing? And you had to drive 3 hours to get there, right down the road from me! I could have stopped by the resort to see if you were there. I wish I did because I would have seen you two and this would have ended much sooner. I would never speak to you again! I still shouldn't, but I still love you and you keep winning for your apology texts/voicemails. Not anymore. You broke me down enough. You took everything from me. I have nothing left to give anymore. Thank you for taking me heart and shattering it into a million pieces. It will take me a very long time now to put them back together.

Today marks day 3 of NC and you've been reaching out every day since I found those pictures. Today was the least amount of times you actually reached out.. which was good mostly, but made me sad as well. What do you honestly expect me to say at this point? You've hurt me so badly and broken my heart. I've already made it perfectly clear that I can't talk to you for a while because I need to heal and move on. I told you it hurts to talk to you. What's going on in your head? Why would you think I would give you a 4th or 5th chance to make the same mistakes again? I can't anymore and now you to have to learn from your mistakes. Do you think this will be a wake-up call for you? I'm scared for the day you actually stop reaching out to me. I know it will be easier for me to heal when you stop, but I know it will hurt badly because it will make me think you're done loving me or met someone else. I wish you never broke/damaged our trust so we could still be together We had something so amazing.... I still love you and miss you every single second of every single day... but I want to forget you now...

24 hours since I last spoke to you. You've been reaching out all day texting how much you love me, miss me, how sorry you are. Nothing you say will erase the images I have of you and that girl, at the resort planned for us right down the road from me and 3 hours from you (nice of you to drive a long way and not only not reach out to me, but meet another girl there), the day after you broke up with me. The strangest thing is the first picture I saw of "her", you took of her looking out at the water, so it was her back... do you remember taking that same exact photo of me at that resort? I looked at the photo, immediately thinking it was me, until I realized I didn't have those pants and she looked a tad bit heavier than me. The following pictures were you two smiling looking happy at the bar on the beach right next door, where you and I walked over to to have a few drinks and had such a great conversation by the ocean. Did you forget that already? No you didn't because we just talked about it last weekend when we were together, about how great that weekend was. Then the last photo I saw was you two kissing at this bar... and that's the one that left me shaking, feeling numb and almost about to break down in front of everyone around me. It took one day for you to replace me. You're disgusting and selfish. You tell me all you two did was kiss, but is that really the whole truth? Doubt it. You've taken so much from me. I wish I left you after the first lie I caught you in involving your ex. Do you even realize how you have a sick problem? I seriously think you're a pathological liar. You've completely broken my heart

You are a POS! I just saw you added your ex on Facebook, only a week after breaking up with me. Thank you for confirming my insecurities on that issue we had with her. The truth has finally unfolded. Even though I unfriended you on facebook and I know I should probably block you, it helped to see that. It finally gave me closure much quicker than I expected. It certainly brought pain to my heart seeing that but overall I feel free now. I feel like I can officially shut the door on you. You are no longer on this pedestal. You are a liar (as we both know because I caught you twice) and have a lot of growing up to do when it comes to relationships. I can't believe you even told me I was the most mature relationship you've ever been in, and we were together only 4 months. That's crazy. Well at least I can teach you a few things. My love for you is still there but as of now, looking at you disgusts me. So long!

Well, I'd hope that wouldn't happen to you or any other girls that age. I wish they were more responsible, but let's face it, it sill happens all the time. And I would most definitely not have an abortion, I would have the child. If you have an abortion, remember, you're killing a baby, and for me, that's just horrible. Not only that, I'm adopted and so thankful my biological mother (who was 16 when she had me) didn't abort me, she gave me life and I will always be against abortion because of that now.

Yes I have, and in one case I did try going back to them, and in other cases I didn't. But the person I went back to, it didn't work. And I always have a theory now, never go back to the past. Basically meaning never return to an ex, you break up for a reason, and I always believe moving on to something new is always best. It usually takes a couple months to get over someone, but it also depends on how serious you were about them. Always give yourself a couple months though to heal and enjoy time to yourself.

I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. And you will definitely find someone else who is better for you. There are sooo many fish in the sea. I think for right now enjoy being single and just having fun for a bit, and usually when you least expect it is when that special someone pops in.

I don't think you should worry about having a label as well. Be your own person, and remember, you are still young and you will be going through many more changes. So even if you'd label yourself... you most likely won't be that in 5 years. Just enjoy who you are now.

I understand what you are going through. I've been through that before, and occasionally am now. I think sometimes guys get a little caught up in theirselves and don't always think about you. It might be good to sit down and explain that you'd like him to comfort you the way you do for him. If he loves you, then he'll try to do what he can to make you feel better. Just make sure you let him know because guys never know what's going on in our heads, so it's always good to communicate about it. Good luck!

I agree that it was pretty rude of her to do that. Even though she was going with her cousins, it still would have been nice of her to invite you too. But maybe she did want to spend time with them without you, which shouldn't be taken the wrong way. Could go either way I think

I'd have to agree that the BC pills could be a major reason. I go through exactly what you are going through. I am moody at times and just fight with my bf for no reason and I know for a fact it is the BC because I have never been like this before I was on it. I didn't know about Yasmin though like the other girl said.. I should consider trying another one!