poorlittlefish

If you're going to use online dating, you need to develop a thick skin and learn not to take rejection personally. I don't reply to 99% of the messages/likes I receive because of all sorts of reasons. Yes, I may not find the guy attractive, but he may live too far away, participate in hobbies I don't care for, seem illiterate etc etc. Similarly, if I message a guy, it's almost never that I receive a reply. If I got bitter and twisted from all that, I'd end up like the OP. What puts me off otherwise promising men is what they sometimes write in their profiles. I see men writing a big list of things they're not interested in and it's obvious they're describing their exes. If they have sarcastic comments about what they are or are not looking for, it's a red flag. If you have a similar list of unrealistic requirements, delete them.

If you want to be a kind and decent boyfriend, then being an "alpha male" or mean to girls shouldn't even be on your radar. Girls whose heads are screwed on right will be attracted to the complete opposite. This applies to sex too, so don't believe that girls want what you see in porn. Treating them like that will result in physical/mental harm and maybe a sexual assault charge.

I don't think you can agree to be in an exclusive relationship, but keep your profile up on dating sites where other potential mates will 'like' you and send you messages. I'm all for freedom of choice and leaving the ball in her court, but I'm surprised she didn't make the decision there and then.

I'd be notifying the cops because what she's doing adds up to harassment/stalking. If you're in the UK then sending someone unsolicitied pornographic images is also a criminal offence (I don't know if there are similar laws elsewhere). If nothing else, a little knock on her door from the boys in blue might be enough to dissuade her from continuing her campaign of abuse.

I suspect girls are put off by your arrogance.

This woman is 55 years old, so she will either have been through menopause or is going through it. At that stage of life, it is very common for women's interest in sex to diminish or go completely because of the changes in hormone levels etc. I think you may need to bear that in mind.

Your mother should want you to be happy, not settle for anything less. There are millions of men in the world and she thinks that not one of them would be suitable/interested in you??! Contrary to her opinion, many men want to spend their time with an intelligent woman, capable of decent conversation and able to stand on her own two feet. Do not listen to your mother; she is not really thinking of your best interests on this matter.

He's been feeding you crumbs and you've been accepting them. This guy just wants to dangle you on the end of his string for whenever he has nothing better to do and you allow him to. You've got to the point where you're checking when he's online and waiting by your window, hoping for a glimpse of him as he drives past. You are literally feeding yourself the crumbs he can't even be bothered to give you. My ex would ignore me and in the beginning I would be desperate to speak to him. When I realised it was a pathetic game I would block him, which forced him to find me in person if he wanted to explain his behaviour and resume our relationship. Even this was a massive waste of time and emotional upheaval for me and when I came to my senses, he was gone for good. Please block and delete this guy, then find yourself someone who is actually interested in you.

I'd leave the relationship if I were you. I spent 5 years with someone with ASD and the verbal abuse got worse and worse. It massively damaged my self esteem. Whether he can help it or not, don't put yourself through it.

I've been on dates where I've barely got a word in edgways because the guy hasn't stopped going on about himself. Maybe she's had experiences like that, she was surprised it was different with you and now she's second-guessing herself.

I guess you are against abortion? This guy has a 9-year-old child at the age of 56. As he already was an older dad maybe he won't be as shocked as you think and given that you had lots of unprotected sex, he actually shouldn't be shocked at all.

I think you're making a rod for your own back with all these gestures. Your girlfriend may have come to expect them, giving you no way to reduce/stop without upsetting her. It all sounds a bit one-sided, like you feel the need to put her on a pedestal. You are just as worthy of being treated nicely and you shouldn't need to overcompensate to "keep" someone.

Man ends long-term relationship because he feels that going to the cinema should take priority over a close family member's one-off occasion. How pathetic does that sound? If he'd have been reasonable about it, you could have offered to by tickets to go to the cinema the next night. Instead he acted like a petulant child, throwing his toys out of his pram. You are right not to want to be saddled with a baby when you're only 22 and I think he's done you a favour in ending things.

In my experience, anyone who cancels a first date is unlikely to be sufficiently interested and won't be reliable. Two times in recent weeks I've had the frustration of someone cancelling or stalling for pretty pathetic reasons and I told them they weren't going to be right for me, just as you did. The difference was that I immediately deleted and blocked them because I no longer have any tolerance for being messed about or listening to excuses. Set better standards for yourself.

@lostandhurt If you search in Match, are you still getting a 'grid' of profiles that you can scroll through? In the UK that seems to have changed (unless I've pressed something inadvertently) and now all you can do is select filters. It presents you with each profile in turn and you have to press the cross or tick individually. For this reason alone, I won't be renewing my subscription. It's all but pointless being on there.