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Onderoo

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  1. I’m probably wasting time writing this because you most likely won’t understand me anyway and will take from it what you want to hear. Here’s the thing Stephanie. I make mistakes like everyone else and say and do things that I later regret. Im not perfect. Despite this, I apologised to you, took on board your reasons for doing what you did and tried to fix things between us because I thought what we had together meant something to you. You knew and understood my situation and what I was going through at the time. It wasn’t too late to turn things around. I was ready for it. But you didn’t seem to care. You felt it was more valuable going with someone new, who you wasn’t sure about or compatible with, trying to make it work and throwing away everything we had. A person who loves someone doesn’t do that. It really doesn’t need an explanation, your actions spoke the truth. You can still try and point your finger at me. But there’s really no more excuses. We both may have grown as people since then, but if it meant having to do it apart and with other people instead of together, then we’re not right for each other. I want someone to want me at my worst. Not just my best. I’m sorry about your relationship, But you chose to be with this person over me and didn’t care how I felt about you and how much it was hurting me despite finally having the courage to open up and tell you the truth. Your love for me wasn’t real… True love has no conditions. You made your choice and now have to live with your past decisions like you once told me to do 4 years ago. I really hope you find whoever or whatever it is you’re looking for… Best of luck to you.
  2. Sorry to break it to you, but this is how attractive girls are between the ages of 18-23. A girl in this age group is young, fertile and has the world in the palm of her hands. Add to this, access to social media apps like Tinder, Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook and you have yourself a lethal cocktail with the types of symptoms that you've expressed in your comment. They're constantly getting attention/validation with a new 'alpha' guy being a simple 'right swipe' away. You may have an easier time with the older crowd due to them being older, disillusioned, increased competition with the younger crop and less options with a ticking biological clock. Understanding this, you may wish to not bother altogether and just continue playing the field and not commit like most clued up guys end up doing. Things aren't like how they used to be with our parents/grandparents. Times have changed unfortunately and can only educate yourself of the red flags to help you make smart decisions moving forward.
  3. Great! keep it going. But the key thing is to actually move on and not do things as a tactic to try and get her back.
  4. It's all a front. She's expecting you to look at her profile and is pretending she's happy and over it, but deep down she's hurting. And she will hurt even more the less you care. As sadistic as that sounds, it's what seems to work. I've tested this with my ex by going offline for a while, only to return to check her profile and find a bunch of passive aggressive memes that are clearly directed at me. You can usually tell when someone's online on Social Media. And It's clearly affecting her when i'm not there as it makes her wonder what i'm up to. The best response is to laugh at her as it's blatantly a way to get a reaction out of you. It's human nature to feel bad. Regardless of whether you initiated the breakup or not. Girls are infamous for moving on quickly due to having a stronger support network and rebounding. But it only masks the problem and is a foolish way of dealing with things. Be strong and deal with your breakup the right way. Trust me, once you've completely healed, you'll thank yourself for doing it. She will typically break up with whoever she's with in the future and be back to square one. She will have to eventually deal with the issues she's been avoiding between you 2. But by that time, you'll have completely moved on and will no longer care. The best way to handle this is to simply move on and live well. It will do good for your self-esteem and do badly for her ego knowing you can live happily without her in it. A personal rule i've given myself now is, never allow any girl back into your heart if they leave you and later decide to return. If they insist, then offer them friends with benefits and nothing more. The right person will not leave you to deal with your issues alone and will stick by you no matter what. You deserve better than that.
  5. She's playing games with you. The best way to deal with this is to not react to it and to pretend that you're completely oblivious towards it. Cut contact with her for at least 30 days and start focusing on other things and meeting new girls. This will drive her mad and will eventually start chasing you for attention. Keep pushing her away until she either gives in or walks away. It will show you what her true intentions are. Either way, you should be completely over her by then. Looking from the outside in, she doesn't seem like someone worth being with as she's basically playing with both you and the other guy. A girl who truly loves you wouldn't do that. But you will see things more objectively and will have a choice whether to take her back or not. Best of luck.
  6. As much as I love reading reconciliation stories, it becomes dramatically more difficult when you understand the underlying reason as to why they left you in the first place. The basic fact is, if someone leaves you for someone else, it's basically because they saw more value in the person than they did with you, which compelled them to move on. Looking at things in that context, would you be able to trust a person like that? A person whose easily willing to swing branches just because they can and forget everything you built together is a person who lacks serious character. If they can do that to you so easily, then it means they see little value in you and the things you could ever do for them. Why would you ever want to take back a person like that? The only time a reconciliation would ever work with people like this is if they a) Couldn't find anyone better or make things work with the new person or b) Are older, disillusioned and no longer have the options they once had when they were younger and more attractive and are using you as a backup plan to settle with. As much as I hate to accept any of this, It's basically the facts. Even if you did take them back, it will be very difficult to accept the fact that they could have moved on and not cared about you if things did work out for them. I don't know about anyone else, but my feelings and love is worth much more than that.
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