juno

well, the guy wants sex without commitment. That means she doesnt see u as a potential true gf. U can follow the game and get him into like u. But I think he is going to pretend jut to get a little more sex. Well, if u like sex then u should contunue, otherwise get out of there. You´ll be hurt. Good luck

Hello, I read your posting on the web and it reminded me of the ordeal I went through last year. Now I can say Im ok. But it took me so much pain to finally undestand one thing. Shy women, timid, and those who are "not affectionated", seem to transform themselves when they are with the guy they feel something for. Unfortunatelly your now-exgirfriend wasnt that into you, man. Im sorry to say it that way but its true. When a woman falls for sb, she is going to let the guy know she is interested, believe me. No matter how hard it could be for her to express her emotions she'll do it. Keep your chin up and move on. Everything vanishes after some time. Good luck,

Hello G, This postings have been very instructional. After a year and sixs months being a strict participant of the program "destructive- reationships addicts" I finally became a dignified person. I put out those strange brain connections that are created when we are in a relationship. Yes its like being and addict to that cocktail of emotions and then suddenly our love one takes away our source of life. The withdrawal beggins. Its sooooo damn painful. I think its true that we look for the sick partner that complements our sicknesses. I got into this page and geez!!!, I can believe why you Gee are becoming a pirasite of your own emotions. Dont women want self-confident men not weak-spirited wimps?. Your case sounds like the typical low self-steem woman looking for "sensitive guys" and willing to accept whatever it takes to get that fixer roller-coaster of emotions that only an insecure and manipulative but good with words man can produce. If my mother (75) listend to this, she probably would say: This woman is walking on jelly and is trying to hit the moon with a stone. Where did you learn that is ok to live on promises and refuse to be a healthy human being?. Yes i know its sounds rude but only when i was spoken like this i started to realized I needed a real change. I wish God looks upon your jouney and delivers you safe back.

I totally disagree with you about going to UK to know a person you havent seen. Why hasnt he sent you pics of him. Everythig sounded fine till you mention you have a weird gut feeling about the latest questions that I think you are overlooking. Just ask him to send you his pics and tell him what you think about his questios if he is a gentleman he should send you the pics. I would If i were him. What is he afraid of? Does he have a girlfriend?. Otherwise, it could be a nice experince for you and a fun way to meet your posible boyfriend. Luck

Great question! We like watching women on tv or on the street but that doesnt mean we want to have sex with them. You women do the same just are more discret. Women know we like looking at them therfore they dress up sexy. A woman once told me..if I want to increase my self-steem I just put "the lucky pants" on and go to the mall. But the issue here is that your parter is not respecting you and is hurting your feelings. Whenever Im with a woman I focus only on her and nobody else. If a beautiful woman passed just in from of me when I'm on a date then I ignore the woman passing by 'cause I know my date wouldnt like me to stare at her and I would feel akward if my date is staring at the men around when we are together. This is also a sing of lack of interest. Tell him not to wander his eyes when he is with you, if he doesnt care about your feelings then be ready to face conflict. Luck

It is a terrible idea to wait for a person who doesnt love you anymore, a woman who loves you will never talk to you about other guys, because she may think that would disappoint you. She sees you as a friend who is there to listen and nothing more. Its better for her to have many friends in case she needs one to go out than staring at the walls. If you want to be her friend (that is obviuosly not what you want ) then look for other women. Just think about this: What if the other guy would've treated her nicely? She would be with him, wouldnt she?. Move on man. Dont make the mistakes I did myself waiting for months. Luck.

Yes I know its awful. I once had trouble breathing couse of the pain. But keep yourself strong man. Its going to desapear little by little. Im fine now. Keep busy all day go out and do things. Dont contact her. She has a boyfriend she chose. Its her responsabity. This experience will make u so powerful if u support it. Im serious. Resist man for god's sake. Luck

Swingfox is right about this one. This guy seems to have low self-steem. No wonder why his wife treated him like that. The thing is you are not responsible for the break. Anyway u would be bored with a guy who doesnt have a backbone to support his words. Luck

In so sorry if I hurt your feelings. The thing is that when i was in the same situation I lost months waiting for her, even though she didnt have a new boyfriend. She got one later. And most of the help I received from the people here didnt help till I was waken up to my reality by an "aggressive aproach" by a guy who was in the same situation. Im sorry if I was rude. but im showing interesr in your case. Anyway. Luck.

Breaking up is about pain my friends, and it is painful to try to understand that this woman doesnt want u anymore, no Im not being just plain logic Ive been in the same situation. Theres a moment when u have to realize the relationship is over. Being her friend is going to prolong the agony. She is ok, she has a boyfriend and an idiot waiting for her. What about you man, dont u want to have a gf too. Luck

Just imagine getting married with her knowing that she can mantain two guys thinking about her. This woman lacks of integrity, she lies, its imposible to love two guys at the same time. She is looking for something u dont have but wont tell you. Instead keeps you intersted in case the relationship with the "druggy" fails. She has low self-steem and simply doesnt want to loose you while she finds the right one (that obviolusly isnt you pal). Why are u waiting for her? Can u look for honest women?.

Im happy to see that u are finally taking the steps to become a dignified person. Your story reminds me of my own ordeal two years ago. Yes! its completely normal to be tempted to to contact him but that would stop your healing process. I remenber once i was walking by her house when suddenly was unable to breathe for some minutes cause an intese pain in my chest. The momories really hurt terribly. Im sure its going to be more difficult for you since you two work together. Try to avoid any thoughts about him no matter what reason causes them, that will stop consecuent actions that you may regret later. Be ready to go through a strong emotional cocktail, from anger to sadness, from sadness to anger, some moments of calmness followed by depression, anger again... on and on.. till you get better. Keep strong and you´ll become powerful, your self-steem will become solid rock. Stand up if you fall, you'll have many moments of weakness, but dont surrender. Luck.

Keep strong, dont become Heather "the weak" again. Im sorprised how your low self-steem pops up once and again. You are NOT being mean for God's sake!!. You are just being fair to you. I dont understand why u want to keep in touch with a man who has used you for sex and emotions. You are thinking way too much about the tiny details. Why did you send him the mesage anyway?. He is not even you friend Heather!. I know you want to keep the link in "case he divorces" of course you get scared if he seems to move on, but this is another trick of the brain to get its fix again. Remember u still have those weird brain connections that were created in the nice moments and removing them is going to be painful. Use that pain to move on. Please do not disappoint the women who believe in you. Have you noticed how many people have written to you and stopped doing it? We want you in a story of success not in a soap opera.

I undestand what you are going through. Something good should occur out of this experience. Please keep me posted.

I'll tell about my story later. You said "I want out with grace and tact" This talks about your low self-steem. (this is how he got you in the first place) He's been using you to get a cocktail of emotions and sex, the only tact you need is to protect and clam up before your dignity gets seriously damanged. There's a phrase that players use. "Get her feelings first and the body will follow" I suppect you are a very attractive woman but insecure at some point. I mean at this point everybody is going to get hurt, there's no way out of love without pain. But you should protect yourself by not letting him get close after the break up. Simply tell him you want to end the ralationship cause it's not good for you and go away, run like there is no tomorrow. I dont think talking to him to end the relationship is a good idea. The thing is that B is obviously better with words than you are, no offense. You are very capable of expressing yourself, but you have deeper feelings for him than he has for you. He knows what you want, exacly what to say and what buttons to push. it can only be humiliating for you. He has the upper hand and can easily convince you to change your mind hands down. Remember when he said: "That guy can have your body but I have your heart"? This phrase comes from someone who is very sure of what he has and doesnt include any feelings at all. A man who is in love would never say something like that. Working together makes it very difficult to handle. I recomend to change your schedule as much as possible to avoid him. The less you see him the fast is going to end. And for God's sake "DONT ACCEPT TO BE HIS FRIEND" this is a big mistake and a dangerous trap. You may think that time will make him change and if you could stay close he'll look for you. This will only prolong your pain. The truth is all my words will vanish like smoke in the air, like the thousands or words I listened and forgot immediately once I picked up the phone to "talk about it".