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limichelle
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limichelle last won the day on October 14 2020
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After another relationship ending after a short amount of time. I started to jot down the baggage I carry and the baggage he carried. I get it! We all have baggage! just do me a favor? Access the baggage you have before you date! Are you looking for a caretaker or partner? That’s the brutal truth to it. I can promise you this nobody will want to just sign up automatically to be your personal caretaker if they aren’t being paid. You don’t go on a dating app looking to trauma dump. If you are, get off the app and work on your issues! I take myself and the insane choices I’ve made. I’m not ready by any means to be on a dating site. I keep attracting the same broken guys! You know why? I’m broken so they relate to that. You won’t attract healthy until your healthy. it’s simple! the problem is loneliness hurts. Loneliness is worst at night and on the Holidays. I would rather be lonely than have some person screw with my emotions day In and day out. I will take the pain of lonely over the pain of heartache. Trust me, heartache hurts way far worse! You are going to continue to have heartache until you embrace loneliness. You will constantly settle or act out of desperation for people who were never worth it. people relating to others is the sign of a connection in the beginning. If someone relates to the deep baggage or issues you haven’t worked on? You’ll both be attracting a unhealthy co dynamic of misery loves company. Im not saying you have to be a perfect specimen in order to find love. Just know what you want, what your intentions are and what your boundaries are. If you’re someone who can’t leave the house because of fear or anxiety. Get help! You can’t build a healthy relationship off that. That will cause friction. if you don’t have your own hobbies then find some. Work on you Individually. Nobody will want to be with you if you’re half a person that relies on them to be your other half. I say this out of brutal honesty. I hope this is a wake up call if you’ve been dating asleep. I also say this as a reminder to myself. lisa
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Hi! so it’s been a long time since I’ve come back to this forum. I’m hoping all of the older members are still here. I see a ton of new posters. Its been two years since the SA that happened to me. Ive been dating someone who understands I need time with intimacy and respects my boundaries. It’s funny my Psychiatrist told me “The right person will wait for you.” it’s true and I’m glad I never settled for some guy who treated me like I don’t matter. The guy I’m seeing knows that while I’ve moved on from the trauma I’m still bruised and need to move at a pace that’s comfortable for me. It made me realize with this newfound relationship that I was never asking too much just asking the wrong guy. find someone who won’t try to change you, pressure you into things you’re not comfortable with. Will communicate with you and will listen to your boundaries giving you nothing but respect. If I had listened to this advice when I was younger I wouldn’t have tolerated the abuse I had endured. we’re so quick in trying to change the person into something they can never be. Or waiting for them to give us the healthy parts in a relationship. When all it comes down too is valuing yourself enough to know your worth. the right person will see your worth. If I can save you years of abuse with just this message, I hope I can. lisa
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Before first meet up.. is this a red flag
limichelle replied to crazycatlady80's topic in Dating Advice
He has a lot of unresolved issues it sounds like and quite frankly you don’t need that negativity around you. If you feel it’s not a fit, it probably isn’t. -
She's backed away after a great second date, how to proceed?
limichelle replied to MrMan1983's topic in Dating Advice
In the complex world of dating one thing remains simple. The other person is into you or not. It’s not about how many texts you sent or what you said in them. I just know if someone no longer includes you in their communication. It should be over and you should move on. Once you get self doubt or the ‘nagging’ feeling something isn’t right. It usually is true that this isn’t a good fit. Dating is hard but remember that being interested is easy because you are or you’re not. There’s no in between. -
It sucks that he pulled the Casper routine. I’ve been ghosted numerous times but never stood up. I can’t imagine how awful that is. I feel for you OP. just see it as a blessing more then anything else. He showed you that he’s not worth it to date. So he saved you more time to spend on a better guy. anyway that’s what I tell myself each time I get the disappearing clown that comes my way.
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Guy I’m dating hasn’t been in touch on holiday.
limichelle replied to MagicRooster's topic in Dating Advice
I’m sorry OP. It sounds like he strung you along for five months only to loose interest. I would leave the ball in his court now. I however, would not wait for him. Live your life and find someone else. It does sound like he ghosted though. -
Wishing for the best outcome!
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Guy suddenly acting distant after heavily pursuing me
limichelle replied to jwrunner81's topic in Dating Advice
I’m sorry, I too believe you were love bombed. A sensible person will pursue you more gradual and let things develop over time. When someone tries to force a connection or speed things along it’s usually for their own motives. Whatever those motives are we won’t know. Just be alert next time someone starts pulling out all the stops right away. -
Hello, So I haven’t been on in awhile but a lot has happened in my life. My dog King passed away two weeks ago from brain cancer. It was found on imaging when he started to display some alarming symptoms like nose bleeds and neurological symptoms. Within two weeks of diagnosis we had him put to sleep. It got to the point where he was miserable. He was almost 11 years old. He would have been turning 11 on March 24th next month. My heart is absolutely broken! Then I finally found out about the rape case. The prosecutor turned it down and closed my case. Not enough evidence, it took a year and a half to come to this conclusion. Other then those two sad things. I’m enjoying the two kittens we got over Christmas. I’ve lost 40 pounds since November and I’m going back to school in August. I hope you all are having a good time of things. I’ll be on to respond to posts. Sorry I was M.I.A lisa
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I’m so sorry! Sending much love and well wishes your way!
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Seven months ago we lost Emma our beloved cat to kidney failure. I didn’t think I could have another cat! No cat could ever be like Emma. I sit here now with my brand new fur baby Lucy who my family and I adopted. A orange tabby two months old. My heart is filled with new love. The heart can expand and make room for a new fur baby. I’ll always love Emma and there’s enough room in my heart for the both of them.
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It’s been a year and five months since I was raped! I practically have to be sedated at the obgyn office for exams. Today I was scheduled for a cystoscope. I’ve had quite a few in office over the years before the incident. Well the nurse took me back to the exam room. I was doing awesome and I noticed for some reason the room was set up identical to the Sane exam room after I got raped! I don’t know why that thought came into my mind! I freaked out! I burst into tears and now I’m scheduled to have the cystoscope in a operating room under sedation. Ill be doing awesome and some weird thing triggers me!
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I’m so sorry Waffle! I’m still not over my cats death this past May, it’s hard loosing a fur baby! My thoughts are with you.
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I echo what everyone else is saying. If one of the woman was someone you connected with and truly liked a lot. You would probably then have your decision. You wouldn’t be so conflicted which means neither have probably been that impressionable.
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I agree! A lot of the times when you test the waters with people you end up rocking the boat. It sucks to get blocked but chalk it up to he isn’t the right person to be in your life.