Jump to content

emptyeffort

Members
  • Posts

    108
  • Joined

emptyeffort's Achievements

Contributor

Contributor (5/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later

Recent Badges

2

Reputation

  1. been a few years now.. i got over it, but i still think of the pleasant memories that i had of us rather frequently. i cant help it. ive been lonely as F ever since it ended. i miss having a significant other. having someone to talk to having someone to hug.. i am lonely and feel completely unloved. devoid of any positive emotion. i wouldnt be writing this but it seems my parents marriage is over. something really bad came out and i think there is no going back. made me think of my first and last time i experienced these devastating feelings of a breakup.. it also means a huge change in my life and plans.. one of my parents who is hurting very much now has never had a good life. went from a sh*tty family to a marriage full of problems and a life they didnt imagine. i feel sad knowing what their life has been and how this sh*t now happened.. FML and theirs too.. i hope depression is not gonna take them from me..
  2. been week six now. feels like time has never moved so slowly. i stopped crying every day some time ago. i still love you so much. and i miss you even more. ive been feeling such a void in my heart. so empty. it is a weird feeling ive never had b4 and i dont like it. i feel really depressed. i wish my life just ended at this point so i dont have to feel this pain anymore. sure im still young. but you were the perfect match for me. some day i might get over you and i might even fall in love with someone else. but therell never be anyone as fitting as you were. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you even if i knew that wasnt going to happen. some time ago i thought coming to this city and getting to know you was the best thing that ever happened to me in my miserable life. turned out it was worst thing to happen to me so far. ive had some good months followed up by the worst months or even years in my life. i wish i could see the worth of all this but at this point i cant. im sorry i cant bear to be just friends. i really wanted to. i really wanted to keep you atleast as my friend in my life so i wouldnt have to lose you for good. but i cant. now im all alone. with no friends in this small flat. missing the times we lay in bed together and cuddle, kiss, laughed and talked. i miss it so damn much. after almost 3 weeks i saw you again yesterday. it made me feel worse. really.. i really wish id just drop dead to not have to deal with all this anymore. i cant deal with it at all. who wouldve thought i was just a wuss.. i definitely didnt. i thought i was a strong independent loner before i met you but im quite the opposite.. ive never been so wrong.
  3. hey, after you left me a few weeks ago. this is the first week i achieved without crying. but today made it really difficult not to. it is my birthday. for some reason i have to think alot of you. prolly because i really looked forward to spend it with someone i loved for the first time. we spent yours together and you claimed it was the best youve ever had and i know it wouldve been my best birthday aswell but unfortunately its the worst. already over a month in advance b4 you broke up you told me how you thought alot about my gifts and that you already bought them. i know you loved doing this kinda stuff and im sure i wouldve liked them. you asked me to take them when im ready. but as much as id love to i dont think i can and i really shouldnt. i know you know that its my birthday today. and i also know you didnt text me on purpose because we both know we shouldnt keep contact tho we both want to but i dont know.. it shouldnt but it kinda hurt me. im writing this cz i know sooner or later id cry and id rather get it out of my system now before driving to my parents'. so ye.. i guess: happy bday to me.
  4. hey, im thinking of you every day and i just cant get you out of my head even for a single second. i really miss you and what we had. i wish so much that youd want me back. i miss lying in bed with you and cuddle. i miss the kissing and everything else we did. i miss you as my GF and my best friend. i wont be able to get over you within the next few years. i loved you with all my heart and you were the most important person in my life. now all of a sudden youre gone and im alone in my appartment that has so many memories of you. i get flashbacks of us lying together nonstop. i didnt know i was this emotional until we met. you made me realize how attatched i can get to people and how lonely i was before you.. and how lonely i am now again. i just want the pain to stop. ive had the worst week of my life. and tho it looked better for a few days, im back to crying again. i wish we could stay friends atleast. but i dont think i can bear it. sitting there and hoping every minute that you lean in and kiss me and tell me that you want me back.
×
×
  • Create New...