been week six now. feels like time has never moved so slowly. i stopped crying every day some time ago. i still love you so much. and i miss you even more. ive been feeling such a void in my heart. so empty. it is a weird feeling ive never had b4 and i dont like it. i feel really depressed. i wish my life just ended at this point so i dont have to feel this pain anymore. sure im still young. but you were the perfect match for me. some day i might get over you and i might even fall in love with someone else. but therell never be anyone as fitting as you were. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you even if i knew that wasnt going to happen. some time ago i thought coming to this city and getting to know you was the best thing that ever happened to me in my miserable life. turned out it was worst thing to happen to me so far. ive had some good months followed up by the worst months or even years in my life. i wish i could see the worth of all this but at this point i cant. im sorry i cant bear to be just friends. i really wanted to. i really wanted to keep you atleast as my friend in my life so i wouldnt have to lose you for good. but i cant. now im all alone. with no friends in this small flat. missing the times we lay in bed together and cuddle, kiss, laughed and talked. i miss it so damn much. after almost 3 weeks i saw you again yesterday. it made me feel worse. really.. i really wish id just drop dead to not have to deal with all this anymore. i cant deal with it at all. who wouldve thought i was just a wuss.. i definitely didnt. i thought i was a strong independent loner before i met you but im quite the opposite.. ive never been so wrong.