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Pikey1972

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  1. Pikey1972
    Good for you, renaissancewoman - keep up the good work! Also RC, hope you're doing well 3 years on!
  2. Pikey1972
    "I'd love to cook you a delicious dinner tonight. How about salmon? xxxx" "It's not working. I'd like us to split up. I don't want to get rid of you though. Can we still be friends?" Ugh. And another classic, after his ex girlfriend arrived unannounced at his flat with her little girl (who bears a remarkable resemblance to him): "Yes, a lot of people have commented on the resemblance. But she's not my daughter. Honest, trust me." (after we split up, an old friend of my ex's informed me that the girl was indeed his daughter. So much for honesty... What a catch. Good luck to whoever dates him next! ;-)
  3. Pikey1972
    Yes, I agree with flower99 here - he sounds like a good and trustworthy man. I know it's a bit of a cliche, but trust is the fundamental basis of all good relationships. It sounds likes he's been very honest with you: he's informed you of the letter, has introduced you to his daughter, and has told you you're very special to him. Your post resonated with me, in that my ex boyfriend did the exact opposite to what your boyfriend is doing: he didn't inform me he had a daughter - it was only after his ex girlfriend turned up at his flat with her little girl that I began to put two and two together. My ex blatantly lied and said the girl wasn't his daughter, even though she was the spitting image of him (same colour hair, eyes etc). It took a friend of his to inform me that the girl was indeed his daughter! (this happened after we'd split up). I was devastated that he'd lied to me, and to this day I don't understand why he couldn't be honest with me, as I wouldn't have minded at all and would have respected him even more for being truthful. Now I have no respect whatsoever for my ex. So in a nutshell, be pleased that your boyfriend is so open and honest with you, and trust him! Lies are hurtful and can be detrimental to a healthy relationship - your boyfriend doesn't sound like a liar.
  4. Pikey1972
    Hello folks, and I hope you're all doing well and hanging on in there. Well, it's been a month or so since I last posted on this site - after around 2 months of NC, I'm beginning to feel better and stronger, although I still have days when I miss my ex terribly. I've been keeping busy with friends (both old and new) and family, walking my dogs, taking up new hobbies and making new travel plans - all these things have certainly helped, and have broadened my horizons. I've also taken on extra work to pay for my tax bill and get me out of financial difficulties ( which is why I haven't been posting on this site as regularly as before. Once my work has quietened down, I hope to be able to post a bit more frequently. But I'll certainly keep visiting this site - everyone on here is a tremendous source of help and support, so I definitely want to keep supporting it! Again everyone, take care, hang on in there, and things will get better - trust me! Hugs, Pikey
  5. Pikey1972
    I'm really sorry redmage22 and iceesnowbubble, but I don't know how to change the settings of Firefox...
  6. Pikey1972
    Thought I'd bump this one up for those who are struggling to stay away from their ex's website / dating profile etc - I used it and it works! (has kept me from obsessively checking his online profile. I've regained my sanity as a result! ;-)
  7. Pikey1972
    I wish I had your willpower, blender: the reason I blocked my ex's e-mail account is to stop myself from obsessively checking my e-mails to see if he's written (he used to send me a lunchtime e-mail every day, even after we split up: the e-mails were typically three lines long, no substance, just to check up on me etc...) At least now I don't worry about whether he's tried to e-mail me or not, and I feel heaps better. I used to analyse every single word...if he wants to get back with me, he knows where to find me...in the meantime, I'm too busy moving on... ;-)
  8. Pikey1972
    Jeffrey, can you block her e-mail account? That way you don't need to worry about any more of her e-mails popping up! Hang on in there, there's someone special out there for you
  9. Pikey1972
    "Blimey, seven months and you're STILL not over me?" followed by: "You're too sensitive for your own good". (my ex was not a particularly sensitive soul)
  10. Pikey1972
    Hmmm....mine are a - agreeing verbally with everything he says (general opinions, not necessarily "relationship-related") so as not to offend him (and secretly disagreeing with him but being too chicken to vocalise) b - putting my ex on a pedestal and thinking he's "better than me" c - behaving like a little girl in his presense as a result of b) Since implementing NC, a), b) and c) ugly habits are gradually becoming less ugly - like cheese, I'm maturing all the time and no longer afraid to voice my opinions. - my ex is no longer on the pedestal - I'm beginning to like myself again! So NC has done me the power of good...anyways, I digress... a) digressing and veering off topic is another ugly habit ;-)
  11. Pikey1972
    Hi Rachel, great to hear the date went well, and don't worry about your manipulative ex!
  12. Pikey1972
    You're doing great, iceman85, stay calm and keep doing your own thing and living your own life, and you'll be fine!
  13. Pikey1972
    Yes, that's pretty sound advice - I'd go along with rnorth's suggestion rather than going NC immediately (I went NC after I saw my ex's profile on a dating site - it's only then that I realised I couldn't handle friendship / hearing about his exploits...). Creating clarity and establishing clear lines of communication are key issues here: and like rnorth says, don't let her belittle you! If this fails, then go NC...
  14. Pikey1972
    enotalon, I'm so sorry to hear things don't seem to be working out...it sounds harsh (and predictable), but I would suggest you go NC - by the sounds of it, you've tried everything you possibly can to discuss matters with her, arrange meetings with her, tell her how you feel etc, etc, etc...she knows how you feel about her, yet appears to make little effort to actively discuss matters and comes up with excuses...it just sounds to me that she isn't willing to put as much effort into the relationship (or even friendship!) as you are. Believe me, I can empathise with what you're saying (everything you wrote seems to relate to my situation ;-)!) - I too tried to maintain a friendship with my ex, but discovered after 4 months of LC that I was the one arranging most of our meetings, doing most of the e-mailing and calling etc...My ex said he wanted desperately to keep me as his friend, yet he won't put the effort in to sustain the friendship. So I decided in the end to do NC - I believe friendship is a two-way process, and if one party is putting in more of an effort than other, there's an imbalance... Anyways, I digress... Again, I think you've done EVERYTHING you possibly can to tell her how you feel...it sounds to me that she's just not interested....so I'd suggest giving her and - ABOVE ALL - giving yourself space to move on. It sounds like she wants a "friendship" on her terms, and her interpretation of a friendship is not the same as yours. Also, trying to remain friends with an ex while (secretly) hoping for more rarely works... All the best, Pikey
  15. Pikey1972
    Keep up the NC, PutYourBackIntoIt, just see this as a minor blip - it happens to the best of us - keep up the good work! Hope all's well didyoumissme - Day 18 for me today, early mornings and lunchtime are the worst as my ex used to e-mail me between 1 and 2pm (even when we were doing LC he'd e-mail me every day)...anyways...one day at a time...;-)
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