alldaisies

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Great idea, love your poem.

Time dear friends, time do not heal anything, but at least help to let's go the pain. I never thought I could stop thinking on him, he was present every day, every time, at every hour or second of my life. He was for me like acquired disease. But I did it. For good or for bad, he just was like a shooting star bringing the best and worse of me. He did not cure me from all my problems, he created more problems for me. As a woman he let me insensible, empty. I heard once that a woman can be let frigid after a rape or violation, that is what he did to me. Now I am like cube ice, a piece of nothing, hidden myself from the world around and running from all no to be hurt again. Never ever come to the life of a woman telling her or convincing her that you love her if you will no love her forever. Never invade the private space of a woman that can blush, you can make her sick, terrible sick. I believe after so much time, he is gone of my life. I do not know how I will recovery, maybe I never get well again.

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Thanks so much for your time narrating that myth for me. My day, what I can say about my day or my last days...a little girl smile at my at the library and she made me happy (I was almost crying and feeling totally alone). The weather is very good for me be with him (it is grey and it is raining), but he is not with me, he is not even thinking about me. I went to the movie theater and watched a movie that I really enjoyed. I have been eating very badly because I am fat thank to the medication. I have been reading and writing a lot. I am better but I am still sad. There are a lot of emptiness. There is a love that refuse to go. I feel miserable because I am unable to forget him. I would like to hate him, be mad with him, feel any negative emotion toward him, but I do not.

Hi, If you want to write anonymously, you can use a pen name and start a blog, blogger.com by google is a very good option, very easy to use. Wordpress is more visual appealing and require a little more expertise, but also an excellent choice. You can create a facebook page or a group. Letter on, you can also try to self-publish, amazon is an excellent choice. Be prepared for the critics, sometimes are like a tornado.

Sorry to read how you are feeling now beanpot. It is better not to over analyze things sometimes. You can get things wrong. I have made many mistakes in my life for overthinking sometimes. One of them, it was to believe he truly loved me. He was dumping me, and I was still believing in his love. Now, I am far apart from him, all is over in between us and I am still thinking that there is love. Weird? right. It is always good to be in the phase of acceptance, I believe is less painful the situation at that point. Never think for others, it is my advice, believe that she hates you because a song, could give you a wrong message. Ah, could you please resume for me the story of Sisyphus in brief lines. I did not know about that mythology character, I was reading about out of curiosity, but I got lost in reading. This is my uncountable day of NC. I am having a bad day, I will leave it there..a very bad day. Best no to describe my feelings now. I have been attacked by my enemy. His new girlfriend. They both are against me, hurting my feeling even more.

Thanks beanpot..I will try, trust me, I am trying everything. At least now, and for first time, I am less affected, what is a good and a bad thing. It is not that I do not care more, it is that I am feeling for first time disconnected from him. I cut my last form of communication with him (Skype). I still have his email, but I do not plan to use it. And I know he will not write me a single word either, and if he does it, it is because he is bored or he want just to use me again or he needs me for any stupid reason. I moved earth and sky for him. I cried until there was not more tears. Now, it is my time to keep going and to recover completely. I wish you are doing better with your NC challenge thing and your broken heart too. No idea if it was already your birthday or no, but if it was, I hope you had a wonderful day.

I do not know how many days, how many weeks, months, nights...but tonight is another night that I cannot sleep. Thanks that I have this place to come and write my crazy thoughts. When I miss him and when I do not want to think more about him. I have to much to do, to read, to learn, I need too much friends, family a work, I need to keep myself busy, because every time I think in him I irremediably move backward. He was my everything and my perdition. But well, life is not about others, or how much we love others, or how much others hurt us...for many life is just about ourselves and how much we do for ourselves. Then I am trying to find the balance, I continue fighting to forget the LOVE. After all, at least for me, LOVE is bigger than anything, and no matter what others try to say me or convince me. I am glad that I am able to LOVE others the way I do, and my love for him was not an exception. Wherever you are, who ever you are...I LOVE you and I will forever LOVE you, or I will love you until you show me your dark side, or you give me a reason for stop loving you. I continue counting the NC days, I am happy that I have not contacted him again. I will keep strong and one day I will finally say, that him is just part of the past. But until that day, I will have to keep counting the NC days.

It is just an intent A puzzle of words and deep feelings A crazy combination of psychotropic drugs A brain turned inside out A person lack of knowledge A person wanting to learn "caught up" a new combination of words for me Thanks for helping me in the only way I want to be help To become Stronger Healthy A little smart Less emotional More stable FREE!!

Pain, betrayal, lies Cry, cry, cry Pain without stop Rapid pain Cry, cry, cry Where are you? Where is him? What did you do? Why?! Cry, cry, cry My head is spinning Laughs, laughs, laughs Vengeful laughs Laughs of power Laughs of humiliation Cry, cry, cry I go there, all them are there I come here, all them are here Oh, where to go? Cry, cry, cry In the middle of the anger and sorrow Cry, cry, cry JUSTICEEEEEEEEE!!!

This is the end of my NC journal.