teach

No, she doesn't sleep around usually. She was with her boyfriend 10 years and never cheated. I think thats one of the main reasons she did split with him cos she hates cheaters and she snogged someone else one night. But like i said her dad says 'we'll get married one day', her best mate has asked me a few times if i like her, and that her and her ex aren't suited anymore. I suppose though its not down to these people its down to her. I just wanted to know how far i should let my feelings be known?

Yeah, I've always thought best to leave alone. And she did say that its made things more complicated. But do just want to clarify few things. She did split up with him, after snogging someone else, and after saying she didn't fancy him anymore. It is not only me she has slept with since, and she initiated the sex. She sends me quite a lot of nice messages herself. But if these make no difference to your advice, i'll do just that and leave alone. I was going to at first its others that persuaded me differently. Thanks for your replies

Hi all again. Well, i wrote on here a few weeks ago about whether or not i should say anything to my friend who I wanted to date. I had been good friends with her for 3 years and we got on great, but she had a boyfriend all this time. About four months ago she split up with him, and all my friends were telling me they were sure she liked me, that we always flirt and that we got on great and should go for it. Well on saturday night after a few drinks, I told her what I thought. She kept on saying that, 'but I work with you' and that she wouldn't be good enough for me in this way and that. Never-the-less, she ended up at my place and we had sex. I asked her the next day if she regreted it, and she replied 'you know i love you, even when sober'. And things have carried on as friends. However, her ex has booked them a holiday in his attempt to try to win her back, and she had already accepted to go with him before saturday night. I have a feeling that even though she does like me, that she wants to give him a chance first. Although she doesn't seem convinced that they should be together even after 10 years. Yet she doesn't give much away so it is really hard to read her, and hasn't really said anything about it since, either way. My question is, in situations like this, when I believe she clearly likes me, and when perhaps she woud like to date properly do you fight for the girl and show her that you are interested and would be good together. Or do you leave well alone and hope she realises it for herself, even if she does try again with her ex? I suppose its a fine line to draw. Please, especially women advise, do you like being shown, or do you like being left to make your own mind up?

Hi all, I have worked with a girl, Claire, that has become a very good friend for almost 3 years now. When we first met i was attracted to her, but I soon realised that she had a long term boyfriend and I didn't persue it any further. About 4 months ago they split up after 10 years. I was in a short-term relationship at the time (since ended), but she was jealous of the friendship and closeness I had built up with my friend Claire. At the time I didn't think much of it, but as well as my ex's comments, my friends ex-boyfriend was jealous of me, and some other friends of mine and hers have commented on our chemistry, our compatibility and our flirting. This has got me thinking. Then I started getting comments off her such as 'well, if anything was gonna happen, it would have happened by now'. Then one night out of the blue i got a 'i miss you' text, and 'i love you' text. Whenever we were round each others house she now will come close and snuggle up. We have now even talked about being together, although losely. However, there is someone else that likes her at work too. And they have kissed on occasions. I don't like treading on anyones toes and i asked him if he likes her. He says he does, but he doesn't want to mess her about and he doesn't seem quite ready for anything with her. She has said to me and other friends that she doesn't like him that much, but I get the feeling having known her for so long that she does. I admit, I'm a little jealous. But would be happy to leave well alone if she did like him and anything happened between them. I would be happy for her. But she doesn't say this and although she insists we are friends will call me 'honey', 'babe' etc and be affectionate and flirty and she even bought me a valentines card. She is a wonderful girl, and if I thought I had a chance, I would not like to miss out. I would also wish to take things slow, but her 'romance' with another work colleague is pushing me into saying something when i'd probably rather not. But as i say i can't help feeling a little jealous. I suppose non of you really know what is going on her head, but if i'm being completely stupid, and wasting my time i'd like to know. Please give some advice........

cacain119, is this really true???? If it is i think u might be right!!! But what exactly do you mean by trust yourself? Trust yourself with what??? I mean i do not wish to be big headed, but i find meeting girls and dating etc quite easy, i have plenty of interest, and yes i am flirty...but they don't seem to last long and many just seem to give those reasons. I've even had 'i'm scared' lines!!! And i'm not scarey, i'm an average type guy...it just baffles me???

Well, plenty of different situations. But in sexual relationships, they have seemed just as interested in sex. As for paying her no attention, i always try to, but its a fine line for men between showing affection and too much affection and being clingy. The other week, I met a girl on the thursday, she met me out on the Friday, stayed with me by her own invitation on Saturaday. Seemed dead keen and text me on the Sunday morning saying hope to see you again soon. On Sunday night went out, saw her waved to say hi, but she completely ignored me so I turned me phone off and thought she couldn't have been interested. Then when I got in I had 3 msg saying who was that girl bet you went home with her etc. It happened to be my mates girlfriend i was talking to. I persuaded her otherwise and said sorry she was 'messed-up', and she text me all week sending photos etc. Only on thursday to tell me she was going out on a date with someone else. As you can imagine i was non too pleased, not because she was dating someone else but she made me believe it was my fault. Thing is, like i said has happened a few times and it is an infuriating way of dumping someone if untrue, and if it is true then i would like to know why they are so insecure or i'm making them that way?

Hi all, A few times myself and now a friend have heard the line 'you're not really interested in me' or 'you're just interested in sex and i'm not that type of girl' or 'you're a player' when a girl hasn't wished to date anymore. 1) This is completely untrue i'm not like that 2) I don't know what gives them that impression. No matter how much trying to persuade otherwise, they either get mad, just show no more interest or come up with some other seemingly untrue reason. Do you think that these ways of saying don't want to see you anymore are just excuses designed not to hurt, or could they be genuine reasons showing their insecurity. Either way its infuriating when it happens to have to explain otherwise when the truth even if it hurts would be better. It happened so many times, would like to know what to do in the situation? Thanks teach

Hi, Last night i saw my ex girlfriend in a nightclub. We haven't spoke for about 3 weeks. We were getting on as friends until then, then suddenly she started ignoring my text mesages etc, for no apparent reason. So when i saw her last night I didn't go over or say anything. Her sister waved to me though which was nice, so she must have known I was there. I saw that she was close to another guy, but i tried not to stare and started chatting up a girl standing next to me. We then went for a dance and i gave her my number. She was right behind me, but again I didn't say a word. Towards the end of the night she walked passed me hand-in-hand with this guy. She looked straight at me, with a very funny look. But again i said nothing and walked on. I don't know really if I was right in not saying anything. We were trying to be friends up until a few weeks ago, but then she started ignoring me so i felt akward talking to her. I think we both trying to move on, although i think we both still have some feelings, but somehow always end up bumping inot each other cos its a small town. Do you reckon i did the right thing in ignoring? And should i say anyting now?

Hi again, My ex is coming round to my house on Wednesday. I've said for helping me put up the christmas decorations, i'll cook her a meal. She said she'd like to come around to help me as she loves christmas. So, do you think I should make a special effort i.e get some wine, make a special meal with nice table layout etc, dress nice etc? Or should i just make it a normal night? I would like to get her back, although i'm not going to mention anything about it, just hope that she has a good night and realises she can have a good time with me. Cheers

Thanks all, Like I said, really this has been going on a year now. We both been with other people. We always seen each other throughout the year, sometimes we been friendly and sometimes we been really nasty to each other for various reasons. We started being friendly again about a month ago, and she seems happier, less stressed and more chilled out. She said she has sorted out some issues she had. I liked her her new way, and that is why my feelings have come back. She says she enjoys my company, and she would like to be my friend. But she says I hurt her so much, she never wants to feel like that again. That why I believe she is trying hard to move on, but never has fully. I think her head tells her that we won't get on, and it'll never work and i'll hurt her again. But she can't really let me go in her heart. Again I'm only guessing, and I don't really understand women, so I do need help understanding?????

Again thanks for all your replies, But again this is not right. She says she doesn't miss the sex. In fact we had it twice in the year since we split up and both times she says she has regretted it and the last time burst into tears straight afterwards. Believe me I have thought the same as all your replies, but what she does and what she says are two different things. She also says although she doesn't love me, she does care about me. Does anyone have any idea what is going on????? The only thing I can come up with is, is that because I hurt her so much and it took a lot to get over me, she is trying to be very strong and not go back to were she thinks she can be hurt again. What do you think????

Hi, thanks for being blunt. But the thing is she actuall says the opposite. She says she is missing me, not the relationship. She says she enjoys my company. I can understand what you are both saying but what you've got to realise is 1) I split up with her, not her me 2) she misses me, she's said it a few times throughout the year 3) but she doesn't want a relationship. Thats what is what is confusing me. And although she says she doesn't love me, she spends hours talking to me about it and says i still upset her and she still cares. I can understand wot you both saying, but i think these circumstances are different. Wot do you think?

Hi, I split up with my girlfriend about a year ago. We was with each other a year and lived with each other for 6 months. I did it after agonising over it a good few months. I didn't want us to split up and i did love her, but she seemed so unhappy and stressed that we kept arguing and i thought she'd be better off without me. She was devestated. And she now tells me she felt like taking a load of pills and stuff. She said she couldn't have loved me more. We've both has partners since that have ended, although she has been dating someone unseriously for a few weeks. Despite this we've had periods throughout the year of NC and periods were we have really upset and angered each other. We have also had period when we've been really friendly. We slept with each other again earlier in the year and have done again just 3 weeks ago. She tells me that she misses me, but is dating someone else. She tells me she wants to be my friend, but she is still bitter and can't fully forgive me for what i did. She also tells me she's happier now and is more chilled and less stressed. She says she doesn't love me, but she does everything to suggest she does. She also says she'd rather me be honest about how i feel, rather than playing games or not saying anything. I do still love her and would like to be with her, but just do not know how to play it at all. Whenever i do the NC, she always finds a way to contact me, or i see her out or something. So i have now been honest, i've told her i would like to try again. She talks about it, but says she won't get back with me. I don't want to be her friend and then her go off with someone else, but i feel i need to be her friend to regain her trust and show it can work this time. Wot do u think, non-contact, or be friend and regain trust?