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westfork

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  1. Nina, Your concern is admirable and a welcome touch. Once again, thank you for it. Yes, Peale wrote The Power of Positive Thinking, a known classic. I've always strayed from such books, because, as you say, they may "sound trite." Surely, though, literature that has stood the test of time and critics must have a lot to give. I've taken your advice and just purchased the aforementioned book this evening. I figured it would be a good title to start with since it's his most famous as far as I know. Now if it doesn't help in some way, I have free reign to to kick your bum for wasting the "oh-so-much-I-can't-live-without $7.00," right? Just kidding. I'll let you know of what it does or doesn't do for me if you're interested. And, once again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much for your kindness from all the way over there in Germany. Please have a good beer on me. You've plenty of them there. jeffrey
  2. Sorry for it taking so long to reply. Thanks to the both of you for lending me a bit of of your brains. I truly appreciate it. It's a confusing syndrome with an equally confusing solution no matter how much right under my nose it might actually be. I've learned a lot recently, but unfortunately I believe that's just from growing older. I'm 29 and not really willing to wait another 20 some odd years to get over my other issues. Some I can live with and wait for, but not those that directly affect my happiness. I can't tell whether I hate life or love it. Consequently, I don't know how much it is worth living. I don't want to get into that, though. It's a whole other enchilada I'll probably have to serve to the enotalone crowd some other time. Again, thank you very much to the both of you. Your advice to this stranger is admirable and warm. westfork
  3. I'm finding it somewhat difficult at present to name what I think is a problem of mine. Among the numerous ones that I have, I have realized that one of the largest is my constant concern for what others think of me. Constant, actually, is an understatement. This problem affects me considerably. In fact, I have even gone so far as to "act" or be a certain way in my own house (even if I was the only one there), just sort of pretending as if I was being watched! Wow, I'm just remembering that I've done that sometimes. I need major help. At any rate, this problem affects me when I'm driving, when I go out, order food, walk through the mall, walk anywhere for that matter, speaking, listening, etc. Pretty much all the time and everywhere I go I can't escape wondering and caring about what other people think of me. This, is turn, makes me hide what might be my true self for fear of not being liked. I end up being very reserved in my behavior, and in conversation, and thinking, so as not to seem like I'm too much of anything. I'm just safe Jeffrey. Quiet Jeffrey. Reserved Jeffrey. Unemotional Jeffrey. Not to make light of my situation, but I think the only place where I am truly myself is in the bathroom. I can't put a name to this disorder. I've wondered if it's low self-esteem, codependency, ego-centrism, narcissism, or something else I can't quite put my finger on. Knowing would obviously help me to understand it better and help in my search to define it and eighty-six it. If anyone out there can relate or knows what this disorder is, I would be unbelievably grateful. Thanks in advance for your help. I'm so sick of caring about what other people think of me, yet despite this supposed fact, I can't shake it. How ironic. How moronic. jeffrey
  4. Very well written poem, my friend. Very engaging and heartfelt.
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