I can't stop thinking about you and all of the wonderful times we had together. Everywhere I go in the city, I am reminded of you.
I cleaned out the apartment yesterday. So many trash bags full of memories. You left so many pieces of you behind. Contact lenses, yoga mat, receipt, hot sauce, sock. I wish you could see how the second bedroom finally looks. We never got around to cleaning it for the entire year, but I finally did yesterday. I did it to purify and to cleanse the space of you, but all I wanted to do when I was done was send you a photograph.
I'm not sure how to reclaim this city as my own, without you being the reason I am here. Over the last 3 years, my identity became so intertwined with yours that I now feel like a skeleton of our relationship. I hate sleeping in our king sized bed with no one next to me. I turn the other way to avoid looking at the empty space you've left behind.
This will be our first weekend apart, and I am distraught with thoughts of you going on dates, going out drinking with some new girl friends, flirting. I know you've already reactivated your dating app and that breaks my heart. I'm sorry I angry texted you about that. I didn't think you'd be ready for that after just 4 days apart. I hope you're not really ready for it.
I know deep down that we can never be together. I know that there are small incompatibilities that we couldn't push through. I love you so much that I was willing to live in compromise for my entire life to be with you. I know that you didn't feel the same. God I miss you. I want to know how you are doing. I can't believe it's this hard and it's only been 2 days since we spoke.
I love you.