I truly understand the heartache and pain that you are experiencing. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill that takes the pain away. The only thing that will help is time. How long? It depends on the individual. You will experience a roller coaster of emotions, which is normal after a loss.
I will share my story with you. I was married for 29 years. He blindsided me when he asked for divorce. It felt like my whole world fell apart. I was a total mess for months. I cried and cried, couldn't sleep well at all, had trouble eating (lost 20 pounds), had trouble being interested in anything, etc.
I moved out and went back one day to pick up some things that I left behind only to find an extra pillow on my bed, a toothbrush on my sink, extra towels. That was 11 days after I moved out! He had already someone stay overnight. There are no words that fully describe how I felt.
Slowly, and I mean slowly, I began to heal. I focused on hobbies that made me happy. In my case, all my friends turned their backs to me. Really ***ty thing to do, for sure. However, I had my two amazing sons, my brother and his wife, my ex MIL and my ex SIL who comforted me and supported me in my time of need.
It's been 4.5 years since my divorce and I can honestly say that I feel so much better nowadays. I don't cry anymore, I rarely think of him. Once in a while, I will think of some good times but I learned to stop that. It serves no purpose. Instead, I concentrate on all the good things in my life.
So, if I can do it, so can you, Mrs. Wise. He's not worth your tears. Don't give him that power. You will heal slowly, I promise. Remember that time is the answer. Hang in there in the meantime. Take good care of yourself, OK? Sending you virtual hugs.