boltnrun

Is this the same guy, who you made your "final decision" about a couple weeks ago? I wouldn't call it a "rejection". More like, he doesn't seem to feel the same way.

I think he was thinking about orange juice. But he just got so agitated! Like, he thought I was being deliberately obtuse when the fact is what he was saying made no sense. I have noticed he has been forgetting a lot of things lately. We had talked for over two weeks about taking our cousin out to lunch on Sunday but suddenly on Friday he messaged me to ask what day we were going. He and I had also had a long phone conversation about how I got a credit on my electric bill. Two days later he sent me a text saying "Look, they are giving credits on electric bills. Here's a link in case you want to find out more." Both times I reminded him we had talked about those things already and he acted like he didn't remember. This has been going on for a couple of years. But he hates doctors and gets angry if I even suggest he see a doctor.

I would like to encourage you to do this, because it will alert your teacher of how very serious your suicidal ideation is. It would devastate your family. There would be no recovery from their grief, feelings of guilt, despair, etc. If you feel bad about yourself, imagine how much worse it would be for your family if you harmed yourself. Please don't put them through that There are people who love you. Please tell them how you're feeling. Allow them to love and care for you.

My brother and I love each other but like a lot of family we also drive one another nuts. Conversation yesterday at the restaurant: Me: This iced tea is so strong, but my options are limited when I can't have sugar. Brother: How about lemonade? Me: Lemonade has sugar. Brother: What about fresh squeezed lemonade? Me: That still has sugar. Brother: (raises voice) I mean FRESH SQUEEZED lemonade. Me: It still has sugar. Brother: (now almost shouting)I said FRESH SQUEEZED. They squeeze the lemons right in front of you! Me: That still has sugar. Brother: (still almost shouting) NEVER MIND ABOUT THE SUGAR! I mean, they just squeeze the lemons and give it to you! Me: That wouldn't be lemonade. That would be lemon juice and no one wants to drink plain lemon juice. (BTW, fresh lemons were not even available at this restaurant. That would be weird.) Brother: Oh... As the old saying goes, Oh Brother!

I'm glad you're OK. That had to be very unnerving.

So why do you care if he's "silent"?

This is what you wrote originally. Now you're blaming your mom? Oh boy... You're changing your story, Alex. I quoted what you wrote originally and bolded the statements that directly contradict your latest posts. I presume you'll hide this thread as per usual. But please don't tell us you didn't write what we all saw. At any rate, it is the same old story. You're trying to do what you think your mom wants, and you're resentful of others who have what you want for yourself. I think that's so sad... you're not living your life for you, and you're wasting so much time being unhappy, envious and frustrated. That's no way for a young woman to live. How about you do what Alex wants? How about you forget about trying to get Mom to praise you and just do what makes you happy? And how about leaving behind the envy and resentment and go about figuring out how to get the things you want out of life?

It means pretending to be someone you're not. You're very young and it's normal to be trying to figure out who you are. Just so you know, I am a woman and I had no boyfriends in high school. Not one. It wasn't until I got out of HS that I started having guys like me. And I was a virgin until I was in college and so was my husband. Keep in mind, sexual activity puts you at risk of getting a girl pregnant and for STIs. No need to be in a rush to experience any of that.

That's the opposite of confident. And it's probably why you're struggling. You're so focused on getting these men to like you you're forgetting to determine if YOU like THEM and if they're right for you.

I'm watching racing and for some reason it reminded me of this: My son is a very large man. Several inches over six feet and built like an offensive lineman. One time years ago he was driving home from college. Apparently some man thought my son cut him off (which in this area is an unforgivable offense in some people's minds) so he followed him, yelling and road raging. When my son stopped his car at home this guy stopped next to him and got out of his car, demanding my son also get out. So my son thought "OK" and got out. This man saw this giant getting out of his car. His eyes slowly scanned upward and upward. My son towered over him by six inches or more. So this road rage guy just said "Um, yeah, yeah!" and ran back to his car, jumped in and drove away. He obviously realized he had chosen to mess with the wrong guy. Funny thing is, my son is a gentle giant. He seldom loses his temper. He can remain completely calm while stuck in standstill traffic for hours. He's super chill. But he's just so physically huge, he's intimidating without intending to be. That guy probably thought my son would annihilate him. Which he probably could have if he chose to. And if someone makes him mad? Hoo boy, better watch out. I have seen him lose his temper. He can string together curse words like no one else. And if he's towering over someone he can be scary. But someone has to really do something bad to make him angry. His spouse was assaulted a couple of years ago and I know if he'd been present those people would have had serious damage. He's very protective of his loved ones.

At one point I was unable to afford full time college tuition. I also needed to work to support myself. So I took classes at the local community college that would count toward my degree but it wasn't full time and the tuition was extremely low. I think I took two classes per semester. So I got college credits that would count toward my degree but I had enough time to also work full time. At the end of that year I applied to a four year university and was accepted and also received financial aid. I don't know how it all works in Romania, but in the US there are programs, grants and scholarships people can apply for. The university helped me obtain financial aid. Could you go abroad to work but also take online classes that would count toward college credit?

It's going to be very interesting when the sleep study results are in. Thursday night I slept a lot because I was so exhausted. Last night my sleep was of poor quality, mainly because it's super cloudy and potentially going to rain and my body always aches before it rains so it's hard for me to get comfortable enough to sleep. We'll see how tonight goes. Tomorrow my brother and I are picking up my cousin's brother and taking him out to lunch. He's the brother of my cousin who passed away recently. He lives in a group home because has Down's Syndrome. He absolutely adores my brother so he should be excited to see him. We are making a point to take him out every so often so he knows even though his entire immediate family is gone we won't forget about him.

You're trying to talk us into believing he wants to be with you in a romantic relationship. But who are you really trying to convince? It makes no sense to keep yourself available and attached to someone who not only said he isn't going to be in a relationship with you but who is moving far away. No matter how "beautiful" you find him, you can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same thing. I get you're frustrated because you haven't met anyone interesting yet. But this situation is just going to result in even more frustration and disappointment.

No, they don't. I have no idea where you're meeting these men but they do not represent every single man on the planet. How do you meet men? On dating sites?