Exactly, which is why I recognize the signs of minimizing, justifying, etc. It's hard for me to see someone else struggling with the same situation. If I can possibly help them I will try.
I am not attracted to my toxic ex anymore, not even physically. When I think of him I feel revulsion and repulsed, not attracted. But I have the benefit of a LOT of time having passed. Right after it ended? Yeah, I even told a friend I would happily be the one he turned to when his relationship with the much younger woman he'd dumped me for turned bad. Jeez. Big time cringe.