Agrajag

I've noticed that eNotAlone can be a particularly negative crowd sometimes. A lot of "get over it" or "give it up" sort of answers. Success stories are how we'll learn what actually works. Yeah I'm sore about my ex walking away from the relationship - and yeah i think she's still in love with me. But since I'm in NC for a few weeks I might as well try to think of it constructively. It's highly likely she's not going to just find another guy...it's more than likely we won't end up back together. It's also more that likely I won't be as interested in her after 3 weeks of NC. But it doesn't hurt to find how people make it happen. How did these people reconcile? How were there feelings communicated? What did/didn't they do?

Thanks for all your input guys! There more of my friends I talk to the better I feel abo8t the desicion that was made...My father, my boss, some of my closer friends. But she calls and I just can't stay strong I almost got together with her again today thinking I could make her feel better but I convinced myself that I should do what I can to not see her (for a while anyways). I checked my email again and I got an email that made me feel pretty bad about the situation - which is why i don't know what i'm going to do. The email said: "You're bailing on me when I need you the most. I NEED you to get through this. I NEEDED you that Friday and you tore me apart. DAMNIT -. You've gotta start helping me or I'm going to start hating you for what you're doing. How can I feel like I ever really feel like I ever meant much to you? How can I believe what you've said to me in the past - when you're doing this now. You are hurting me more than you could have imagined. I Loved you, I love you. I had direction when I was with you, and I just about had decided on something for my future......now I'm rapidly losing my will to live. Not to get back at you, but because I loved you so much and I just want you." I'd appreciate any further input you have to offer. Thanks in advance...

No I haven't I'm just shruggin it off for the time being. My mum can just be like that sometimes - very polar in her feelings for things. If they don't go her way (ie. her son being with a girl she likes) she'll be like that to, well, her own son. I really don't know what to do about my ex though. She's emailed me things saying: " So, you can see why I'm starting to doubt myself. I haven't been able to exactly sleep guilt-free. I wanted a fresh start - not a deeper hell.

I broke up with my ex of 1 year a few days ago and she's taking it really badly. endless crying, not eating in 40 hours, and calling in all her shifts at work sick for the week. Not to forget mentioning, my mum is mad at me and has let her stay at her place. My mum called me in the middle of the night, some5 few hours after I broke up with her and said "I hope you have nightmares" to me. I thought I had a good relationship going on with them both but I guess looks are decieving. My ex really really loves me but I just don't feel the same for her anymore - what am I supposed to do?

The comes a time, in nearly every relationship, where it seems "honeymoon phase is over." Has anyone here had the feeling that the job they loved from the beginning has started to turn on them, and that they have nothing to do with it. Monday's (My Friday) are the easiest day of my work day in the bakery – we (my boss and I) spend most of the day doing extra cleaning from that week that can't be done while the store is in operation. We're usually very relaxed but speed through everything very efficiently. I'll start a typical day at 5:30am, have a lunch 30-minute paid lunch break around 10:30am or so, and go home at 2:00pm (1:30pm if granted by the boss, or if the lunch break is not taken). On a Monday, I don't tend to take the lunch-break at all and just go home when everything is finished at 1:00pm or 1:30pm, happily knowing I was being paid until 2 o'clock. My Friday of the last week was unusually difficult for me. Maybe it was because I was working the 6th day of my work week to cover someone's shift, making it the Tuesday. The boss was being unusually cranky and irritating. I put up with a lot from the bosses and they know that I am a very, very strong person – they are very aware of what I go through. I have always felt that our crew is of a true world-elite. They are the best teachers I could ask for but I don't know what to do when they start making it harder for me to do my own job. "I could have built an atom bomb in less time than it takes you to ______" and "I could have done ______ faster with my feet" are phrases I commonly hear. Mind you, he's also promised to give me tutorials after work when it starts getting a little slower around the bakery. Which, is now as of the last week. But I'm not sure I want to ask now that stress levels seem to be elevated. Aside from learning how to do the best of the best, and working as efficiently as possible – where do I draw this line? Sometimes I work 8 hours with no breaks and feel just fine – but there are time I don't get a chance to sit down or stop take a bite to eat and I feel like I'm going to die when I get home from work. I come in early and I leave late and I don't get reimbursed for the extra effort. We leave when the task is finished, not when we're off the time card. I, of course, can never contest the tasks being asked of me – who am I to say what I feel I can an cannot get done in 8 hours. (Why, he always said he could do it in 3. Idiot.)

Ok, I have to shove everyone aside for a moment because I did notice something. Saving money, in my humble opinion, is the least effective way to generate profit - especially for someone concerned for time, and needing a quanitity like 6 grand. What other ways could you solve this problem? How many other ways could you possibly get money? maybe there's somewhere else you could live? Why does it need to be 6 thousand - maybe you could find a way to cut it down? Because if it doesn't work...if you can't find a job or you come up with...4300 and are still short...you're hooped. What's plan B? C? Plan J?

Yeah but I'm not dumping this girl because she has chronic headaches - I'm dumping her because, in addition to the fact I try to find more time away from here than with her, she's grown apart from me and now things as unfortunate as a migrane are taking me down for the count aswell. Don't get me wrong, I can be totally supportive - but there's a line where I realize this isn't the first "bump" in the road of our relationship. If I was still IN to her then yeah it would be a no-brainer...but I guess you still gotta love em' first. Hey buddy why don't you get the whole story before you start jumping to conclusions - I'm here for something constructive, not insults.

After a few weeks of careful consideration, I've come to the decision that my girlfriend and I just aren't going to work. I'm in a position where I can't do anything fun or intense on my weekends because she's dealing with chronic headaches. Of course, it's not her fault – but we're stuck just "hanging' out" for the day. Now if I want to go kayaking or something I go with my 'rents or by myself. Everything ELSE is going just, though.

I've been uncertain about my feeling for her up until the attraction to my new co-worker. It made me realize that I might have a issue to deal with here "at home". What is the "Honeymoon Stage" supposed to be anyways?

I was hoping the ultimate suggestion wouldn't come to that. It's one of -those- relationships where here family and friends love me just as much as she does. Unfortunatley, the co-worker isn't someone that cou ld really turn into a relationship at all since she's only *around* town for a few months working - not that I'm saying I just want to slap it into her. I've bought her a few coffees to sip at while we work but I haven't decided if it's worth the trouble to take her on a few dats before she leaves again> I'll be stuck since I'll have left my girlfriend. It's definitely better than nothing. Though, we -have- been seeing too much of each other - would that be a salvagable (sp?) option?

I guess there are two fronts to this problem. The first would be how do I ressurect the SPARK of my relationship? If after 4 months it's grown into routine and am already seeing signs of co-habitation - should something be done? I really really care for this girl and I still know we have potential I just need to dig up my feelings. Is it a bad thing I want to take the new co-worker out for coffee? Or that I feel jealous that a fellow male co-worker may be an option?

My dear, it has been a while! =) I'm glad you found me here =) If I come to the ultimate understanding that it must be done - how do you do such a thing to a person and...lessen the blow...and not feel so guilty... You're right. We've seen each other nearly every single day for those four months. It's routine. However, through my strongest efforts I have not been able to break that routine. Anything is possible.

Well, it's not something that happens often really. In fact, I don't think I yet have been on this side of the playing field. She's just been here...every. day. for the last 4 months. Bingo.

I don't know why this has become a difficult situation for me... Maybe, because the answer seems too obvious? Am I overlooking something? I"m going to cut the story down to a few key points to save endless reading... 1. Dating girlfriend for 4 months =) 2. She is ex-coworker =) 3. Compatability/Love/and the ability to co-habiate....90% =) 4. My physicial attraction and desire after 4 months....20% =( 5. New co-worker physicial attraction and desire...100 % =O 6. Length of time she is within 3,000km of her home...2 months of the year. =( 7. Length of time I have known "she" ... 2 weeks. =O 8. The chances of my girlfriend recovering if something happened...less than 10. =( (Too much like what my ex did to me) The bad part is I've started thinking about this other girl in times I reallllly have ought to been thinkin' of my gal. How long have I got, doc?

This seems to be the second time I've managed to fall for a girl with a boyfriend - but, coincidentally, were in relationships that were already long since degrading and dissolving. So I step in and take over. I'm at the point where this girl has told me she likes me but remains to nervous to do anything since she knows this will tear the little heart out of her boyfriend. She's even said she just wants to be with me... So why do people keep telling me she's cheating on him just because we've been hanging out a lot lately?