Jump to content

chickadeedee

Bronze Member
  • Posts

    1,138
  • Joined

chickadeedee's Achievements

Contributor

Contributor (5/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Posting Machine Rare
  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later

Recent Badges

2

Reputation

  1. There are two sides to every coin. And you can choose how you decide to look at a situation. There is an old expression that goes you can't always change a situation, but you can change how you look at it. So you say you've had it easy and all your life you've had someone else taking care of your adult responsibilities for you. So now rather than looking at this job as *SPOILING MY FUN* you can look at it like this is your chance to really grab a hold of your adult self, learn how to function in situations that stretch you mentally and physically a lot more than your prior life just soaking in a 3 hour bath. So, you have a big book on how to do the phones? Then take it home on the weekend, and lounge in your bath and read the whole book about how to use the phones so you are familiar with how to do it. RISE to the challenge rather than RUNNING away and hiding behind Daddy's (hubbies?) trousers! You can do it, you're obviously a smart girl, so you have to recognize that life isn't always fun and will stretch you in uncomfortable directions sometimes, especially when learning something new, but something that was once alien can become very familiar once you've done it a bit. Success is not just about desire, it is also about EFFORT. And the effort isn't always easy or fun! So decide this is an opportunity for you to stretch and grow up, rather than turning it into a massive opportunity to criticize those you work with as 'soul-less' and hence justify your desire to bolt. You have the perfect right to bolt, but only because you have a husband who is willing to pick up the slack and pull all the weight financially. So your survival really depends on his continued good will towards you (which may or may not continue) and also his own health and presence (which may or may not continue). Things like accidents and illnesses and deaths and affairs and divorces DO happen, so if your only safety plan is depending 100% on your husband and his income, it really is time for you to find a way to function as an adult as a backup plan, or else to insure your husband up to the gills so that if something happens to him you'll be rolling in money to replace his income. So now is a big OPPORTUNITY for you. Before you realized it wasn't as fun as you imagined, you recognized it was an opportunity and took it, and in fact it still is an opportunity if you can get past your own self centered mindset that wants things to be easy, fun, and for you to be taken care of without really having to stretch yourself as most of the adult world has to do. So start stretching! If you discover in another 6 months you can't take it, you need to realistically make decisions on whether what is going on is a selfish desire to have it easy, and fun, and taken care of, or whether you just need to be an adult and find another career you are better suited for, and work this job until you do. And if your husband is willing to foot the bill and let you not work and have 'little' jobs, then of course you can make that decision too if he is OK with it. But keep in mind that this is the real world, and accidents, and illnesses, and 'other women' happen and many women who are dependent on their husband for financial support are unpleasantly surprised when their dependence on their husband turns into a big liability when they lose their husband (or their husband's affections) for a variety of reasons. And many husbands who are happy to support a young and beautiful wife, over time get worn out from the responsibility of being the sole breadwinner and become tired of it and start to resent it, or trade their wife in for a younger and sportier model when she ages. So you need to have a LIFE PLAN not just a plan and expectation that the world will freeze and stay the same (and just the way you like it) because life doesn't always work out that way. So look at the other side of the coin. This is your chance to develop some maturity, discipline, new skills, more financial security, a real career, take some of the financial load and stress off your husband etc. Rather than 'poor me, this is no fun at all.' You need to start investing yourself in success rather than failure, and invest yourself strongly is worrying about your husband's health and wellbeing and not stressing him out because he is forced to work much harder because you don't want a 'regular' job and prefer 3 hour baths. Right now you have the luxury to criticize these other people you work with because you have a husband who is willing to support you doing nothing (or very little or just having a little job). They are not bad people just because they invest themselves in their work and are entitled to have their own motivations to do so, and in fact may well NEED to do so to support themselves and their families. And please understand that your hierarchy of 'important things' that lists Love as number 1 and 'everything else' as second, only works when you have someone else who is willing to shoulder the adult burdens of feeding you, housing you, clothing you. And just because these people work hard doesn't mean they don't love, don't want to love or be loved, etc. They are just 'grown ups' who have agreed to do jobs and are doing them and you don't know them or have a clue into what is going on in their inner personal lives, so you are being very harsh on them in your judgements of them. So time to dig deep and take advantage of this opportunity. And if someone else put herself on the line to get you this job, you also owe it to her to spend some time trying to make a success of it. If after 6 months you haven't hit your stride there, then start looking for other employment until you find something. That is a respectful amount of time to try to make it work and you can then leave on some other subtext that won't make your friend look like you just spit on this great opportunity that was offered to you and spit on her in the process.
×
×
  • Create New...