good job....you did the breakup. I suppose it's best. But it's sure not what we signed up for. That day in the church.
but we never communicated. I wish I didn't have the "selective memory" I have - thinking it was a good relationship most
of the time. But I am also crying over spilled milk. In the past. My point is that whether or not it was a good thing, it's
done. I remember with my high school girlfriend - the pain of that breakup is just like this. The sense of life force being
ripped out of me. Because I gave so much into the relationship. I don't mean to pat myself on the back, I am saying I
transfer TOO MUCH into the relationship. Not really your fault. The stuff that is fighting hard against dying is the dreams.
The concept. That is, the dreams I had in my heart about us. Then, insisting to myself that I find out how I ed up.
Because if it's over, and I don't want it to be, then it must be MY fault. The children. You are a good Mom. And I AM SO
HARD ON MYSELF. It's like I was doing brain surgery or something and I cut the wrong thing. Which WOULD be my fault
since the surgeon was me. But a relationship involves two.....................more later