lonelyfish

Day two - gosh, didn't realize how hard it to keep looking at his Myspace! Not gonna do it though. "Everybody have their own reasons. I am not angry to nobody but just DON'T appreciate certain things. That is all" - my thoughts exactly. I'm just dumfounded by what this guy did, he obviously was not the one for me.

Count me in on this - this will be day one for me! Even though he's on the other coast I feel I need to do this as he now has a "girlfriend" but wants to keep me as a friend. I was supposed to fly out today to see him for my vacation but canceled since he told me about this new girl 4 days prior to me leaving!! I know he will try to contact me via email for he loves the things I write and say. I will not look at his Myspace account either!!! Great challenge!

Rabbitskin, Just wondering, if he's just a friend why are you so concerned about this guy? I have friends in town that sometimes drive me crazy. He may be really interested in you and either doesn't want to admit it or likes egging you on by treating you bad - just like little boys do to girls at the age of 7 and really like a girl! Guys can be really immature. I emailed my guy just the other day about him being so MIA of late. No big deal to me normally, but I'm heading out his way for the 2nd time next month. He should be kissing my but that I'm traveling on my dollar to see him! Of course I'd rather go that way for I live in New England and could use some West Coast sunshine! I do think you have to be upfront with guys if they are upsetting you if not they will just take advantage of the situation. But you can't constantly nag at them - they will just run away! Hope that helps some.

I'm having that issue. Wish we were just friends. I'm on the east coast and he's on the West coast. The times I spend with hime are great - like I have an instant boyfriend. He's very wishy washy long distance which I cant stand! One minute he emails me every day then I won't hear from him for a week. We are not in a committed realationship for we just met and hardly see each other but we have fun when we are together. It just seems like he's not putting in as much effort as I am.

Thanks everyone for your replies! I'll keep you updated on things!

So I met a guy in October while he was visiting here on business. We instantly hit it off except I live on the East Coast of the US and he lives on the West Coast. At first I thought we'd just be friends but I went out to see him for few days while I visiting another friend. We had the best time and he was the sweetest guy! I felt like I had an instant boyfriend for the days we were together. We email each other a lot but actually don't talk much on the phone. Since I'm in the east I go to bed sometimes before he even gets home from work. I really like this guy but I can't figure out if he's really open to having a LDR or just keeping in touch with me for the possibility of one? I've kept my feelings at bay somewhat for I don't want to scare him off. I believe he genuinely really likes me, but being so far apart obviously it's difficult for anyone to consider having a serious relationship. I'm trying to stay realistic. But I just don't want to waste my time with someone who ultimately is not thinking long term. I'm totally enjoying getting to know him and thinking about seeing him in March or April. I don't want to get hurt or waste my time if he's not open to the possibility of a long term relationship as well. How do I handle this guy? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Sorry I haven't updated things in a while. I almost wish this guy was going through a mid-life crisis or something normal like that. But turns out my friend's husband has a lot of mental issues! I guess he has a problem with flirting with women to boost his self esteem per my friend. She saw an email last year he wrote to one of his own friend's wives - she in turn was flirting with him. Both couples had spent the weekend away with each other and my friend was uncomfortable with her husband's behavior. Bad enough they went to marriage counselor. I just found this out. What came out of the counseling session was the fact that he never got enough love from his mother. His father died and his mother spent most of her time taking care of his sister who had down syndrome. But come on, people have had worse childhoods than that and their adult lives turn out great and they are happy. Because of his low self esteem and depression he thinks he's ugly but likes to look at himself naked and enjoys being nude and stuff. Does this guy have some problems or what that he can't get enough love from his own wife that he seeks out the attention of other women including his wife's good friend! He continues to get counseling and is on anti-depressents. I have a feeling my friend will stick it out with them for the whole "in sickness and health" thing but at 40 can you really change??? I think she's stupid to stay with him when she'll never get the attention that she deserves or needs and will basically never be happy herself. But that's me - we are completely different people.

So all last night I couldn't sleep thinking about my friend and her husband's actions. It was eating away at my insides like maggots! I wanted to do the right thing. I'm not religious but I do pray to God in my own way. I even thought about going to talk to the University's Chaplain Monday morning. That night I prayed to God to tell me to do the right thing. But I knew in my gut what the right thing was. I had emailed my brother Sunday night and received his reply early a.m. He only confirmed what I knew I had to do. So I thought the best thing would be to go see her sister who works just up from my office. She got a divorce because of her ex-husband's infidelity so I knew she would be the best person to go to. I sat and waited until she came into her work. I told her and she said I did the right thing. She called her siter and said she had an emergency with her ex-husband and said to meet her at her house. I went with her and told my friend the story and she was in complete shock. She was not mad at me at all and said she felt terrible that I was put in this situation. She admitted they were having marital problems but were working through them. She also said she caught him flirting with one of his friend's wives last year via email. They went to counseling over that. I opened a can of worms for she didn't know about his instant messenger. She even said she checked his email for she didn't trust him. So I had her sign on to his messenger and there were about 40 random girls names!!!! It was so bad. Her parents even showed up for support. I left and they were going to have an intervention with her husband. My friend called him and told him he needed to come home to talk. She asked him about the messages he sent me. He played dumb. She said you know what you sent to my friend. He said he would come home soon. I leave and he calls me - I hung up on him. He left me a message saying, "I think I crossed the boundaries with that message over the weekend but I thought we were making a connection."!!!! What husband makes a connection with their wife's good friend that warrants a naked pic to be sent to them!!!! He is whacked!!

Again I wish I had a husband to beat him up but I am single! Maybe I was an easy target. But here's another thought. This guy and my friend will be signing the papers on a new house on Tuesday. Maybe he wants out of his marriage and out of the commitment of this house. Perhaps he thought he would do something like that for I would run and tell his wife ASAP then their marriage would be over and he wouldn't have the commitment to the new house. They still haven't sold the one that they live in now. So can you see the stress on this guy. Doesn't give him the right to do what he did to me! I don't think he's a child molestor. Also this guy has been married before but he blamed his ex-wife for the break up of that marriage. Maybe he wasn't telling the truth.

Thank you all so much for your advice! Yes this is a tough situation - I can't believe someone as innocent and moralistic as me was put in this situation! Well I'm single - if I had a boyfriend or husband I would have them beat this guy up! I think i was an easy target for him. He did this through an instant message first. Lately he has been IMing me. I felt awkard and always kept it short and said I had to go. Today - his IM icon was the naked pic of him! He also listed "at the shop" meaning he wasn't at home and was probably fishing for me or anyone else that is on his buddy list. So far most people have told me to wait it out and see if he contacts me again and just tell him to leave me alone. I'm sure I will be seeing him in the next few weeks at their house - how terrible.

I need some advice. I am single and my good friend's husband recently sent me a naked picture of himself to me! I am friend's with all my married friend's husbands, isn't that the norm? I think he might have fallen for me and fell out of love for his wife. But couldn't he have just asked me out rather than send me a naked pic of himself? Not that I would have gone - I have good morals and would never cheat on anyone' s husband let alone my good friends! I don't know what to do. If it was me I would want to know if my husband did that to one of my friends. But should I risk breaking up thier marriage for something stupid like that? Though maybe he does this to other women and not just me. Do I wait it out and have him make his own mistakes that will eventually present themselves to my friend? So torn - I just want "to do the right thing!"](*,)

Danielle, I have to be honest as I am myself a link removed subscriber and frequent user of it's services. I can totally relate to your situation. It is very hard to seriously date a guy knowing the fact that you can see the hour once he has logged on to the link removed website. When dating people from online sites I think you have to take a carefree attititdude in the beginning of your relationship. I do see the guys I have dated online still after several dates. This is new age. Couldn't you expect before the time of online dating sites that after a few dates with a guy that he was still looking around when he's at a bar, club, school, etc. for girls that may interest him. I think you jumped the gun too fast. As you I have done the fake profile as well. The guy seemed just simply interested in getting to know someone new that may have been more of a "Match" for him and that is all. I think the next time around you should just be patient. It takes a while to make a connection with a guy and for him to think you are the one. If you have any early doubts you'll just freak him out. Best of luck and I hope that helps you out.

I agree with Annie! Try to act cool. I'm with you on the whole online dating thing. To me it's like finding a needle in a haystack. I recently had a terrible experience. I met this guy from online and we seemed to really hit it off - so much in common. Had a totally great date. However the 2nd flopped and I still have no idea why?? He must of totally lost interest with something I said or did. I have never had a a 2nd date go so bad after such a good first date. I'm fairly attractive and he was somewhat of a nerd. I think I got suckered for the player in a nerd's clothing! Don't get too excited too soon is all I can say. Have fun, but keep your guard up. Best of luck!

Sorry, but i would just have to say (if i'm not single) that I was just busy and uninterested.

Thanks Monsier! Renaissance Woman - I went through a bad break up in the fall. I now look and back and think thank god that didn't work out! I think you need to get yourself back out there in order to move on. It really helps despite the harships of dating. Though, I know you have to be ready to date at your own time or else you could end up just hurting someone else in turn. Best of luck to you!