KatzenMoon

so a few key facts: she previously cheated on him (with a girl) and he "swept it under the rug" she has two kids with different dads i was in the ten year on/off narcissist relationship, had a miscarriage which my ex refuses to acknowledge. when this all started she was basically ghosting him; not reaching out, texting or calling to hang out, etc. whenever she did it was on her terms not his, not planned or anything. even if he just wanted to be alone to be with family, etc. as for the weight issue i have body dismorphia and over the course of this i lost 60 pounds. my ex made me basically anorexic by making me feel inadequate considering he was constantly comparing me to other girls. he called me beautiful, pretty and that i didn’t have to change for him. which in hindsight he was changing me into my real self. bottom line here is i feel like he’s conflicted based upon our time together and how both of us treat him. i respect the fact that he works a labor intensive job all day and if he can or cannot make time for his family or friends then thats fine. she however is completely opposite, texts him constantly asking him to do things for him and be her babysitter and mechanic not to mention her family are addicts. i’m trying to steer him away from all that i guess. also, final thoughts; i’m completely different now from when i was with my ex. heck i even look totally different and he probably wouldn’t even recognize me which is good. apologies for any missing context i wrote my initial post kinda late at night.

so okay idk where to begin, but tl;dr might apply to some here but i’ll try to condense the situation. so last december (2021) i reconnected with an old school (elementary) friend of mine that i’ve always had a crush on and at the time i was dealing with the fallout of a ten year off/on narcissistic relationship. he listened to everything single thing i had to say and really understood where i was coming from. so over time we started talking every day almost all day even hanging out, then we started getting closer. so at the beginning of all this he had said how disconnected he felt from his gf and how great it felt that someone was finally giving him the time of day (relatively speaking) and i never thought otherwise. he basically brought out a side of me that i hadn’t seen in a very very long time considering when this all started i was very self conscious, overweight and hiding my body. being with him made me want to be feminine, confident and happy for once. i was re-exploring things i hadn’t thought about in years and it felt right for once. we even had pet names for each other, kissed each other when we left in the morning or night, etc. i even brought him lunch to work sometimes. then around his birthday i bought him a really special cake personalized with his name on it and went all out with some of his favorite things as gifts. we had a totally normal time, then when we parted the last thing that was said was "see you later" after discussing hanging out later in the day. so after not hearing from him i just thought something happened and he would tell me eventually. so when he did, it was because he had gotten sick and declined my offer to see him like that, and that was the last text we exchanged. so yeah, i’m not perfect here but nobody is either. he knows how i feel and i’ve told him several times as well. it just always seems like we’re stunted in time here or something. so against my better self - after sending him messages wondering if he’s okay i stop by his house (not my way of doing things at all) and he i just so happened to catch him coming outside on the way out and he was almost kinda perplexed to see me there (come to find out she was there) so i sorta confronted him about what was going on. he basically said "sorry" and went on to wherever he was going… meanwhile i basically fell apart in my car that i had to pull myself out of because i hate confrontation. so after that he didn’t block me, or respond to me just watched my stories on social media. two weeks later after an emotional text basically saying how this all made me feel he blocked me. needless to say i’m devastated, heartbroken and confused because this guy treated me differently than my ex. he actually valued me as a person instead of dehumanizing me. i get constant reminders of him everyday, i even dream about him like he’s right next to me sometimes like i’m talking to him. i just do not feel complete without him in my life whatsoever. if you read all of that, thank you for your time.