pocky_biscuz

Not once did i dial that familiar phone number nor did i psycho txt or msg him. I'm extremely proud of myself. Enotalone has been with me through TWO break ups now. I seriously need to stop falling in love blindly. You guys can do it!! Keep with the NC. STOP looking at his/her online profile. STOP looking to see if they are online or not DELETE them literally out of your life!!! NO friendship bullcrap! You CANNOT be friends with someone when just a couple of weeks ago you were intimate and you just CANNOT be friends when one of you still has feelings (love) for another.......it'll give the other person false hopes. First thing i did was told him NO friend thing, unless i have no more feelings towards him i will not be friends and even then i think it's best to just leave it the way it is. Deleted his txt msgs on my cell, pictures off my computer, took down 'our' pictures off my blog, returned all the stuff he gave me. And yes i was the dumpee....... It was stupid break up but i didn't make that idiotic decision. Live your life the way it was before there was an 'us'. If it's meant to be, eventually you'll cross path again no matter what. For now just let it be and LIVE!!!! Good luck guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugz* to all!

I have the same problem only that i'm a girl. So new years resolution is to be a Apparently men likes that........lol

Hey Sandy, I'm in the same boat....this is my first week being 'single' again. It's saturday and how have i spent it so far? Slept until 4pm and watch movies and series to pass time in hopes to get out of the mopey stage. Just hang in there.... come check enotalone once in a while, you'll feel better.

After two weeks of being in a 'break', it finally lead to the inevitable. I knew somewhat that it was happening so during the phone convosation i was somewhat calm. I told him that no matter where i'll be i'll always be there to support him and cheer him on. That i care and love him very much. Cried alot....on the phone not to beg him to stay, but just to tell him how important he means to me. Then he starts crying on the phone too. I told him after this, i'm going to take a trip...to Hong Kong where i came from. Just to getaway. I don't know how long i'll be but i'm getting a one way ticket. He kept asking if i really have to go and how i'm able to be contacted and i told him you can't really contact me because i can't even call my own mother in HK. Then he got upset and said he was going to find me a job in Toronto and stuff and i said i don't want any chance of running into him. He said we can't even be friends? I told him i can't be friends with him if i still love him. Then i asked for one last dinner before i go on travelling. The next day i waited anxiously for him to call me so we can have our last dinner. I told him after this we'll never ever speak to each other again. I gave him our photo album back because it's too painful to look at and he frowned when he saw it, along with his condo keys and the phone string he got me. Dinner went really well, talked about movies and me going away, his business setup etc. There was a sad moment when i told him to go find a nice girl and it is important that she is true to you and not take advantage of you. He said i never took advantage of him and i said i know. Then we got all quiet......and sad and i told him while touching his hand that no matter where i go i'll always be here for you. Then he got all teary. Later on at dinner he invited me back to his place to watch a movie that we were talking about and asked if i was sure i wanted to go over i said yes. By then it was 10pm when we got to his place ( he lives 40mins from me) and when the movie was done after midnight, it was time to drive me back home. We shared a long hug...and said our goodbyes. He asked again why we can't stay friends and i said i just can't when i still have such strong emotions for you. Then it got to the part where i just don't want to leave and so we slept instead. We cuddled and there was obvious physical attraction there.....so as you all might have guessed....yes we did the deed but i just got off the birth control pill two weeks ago. Realizing that afterwards i got scared and he kept asking why i would want to do that to myself. I reassured him there's Plan B and that it takes a couple months for the body to get regulated anyways....if was my fault i kept him in there because part of me wants him baby.....but that's just emotions speaking. This is selfish i know and i will take full responsibility for this. I spent the night and he drove me back home in the icy snow early in the morning. Is this the kind of behaviour that a dumper would do??? I mean, he pull the plug and he's acting so mopey and sad. When you break up with someone you just do it......i'm trying to move on but he's so keen on keeping contact. We broke up for these reasons: he said he's in no state to keep a relationship, that we've been arguing alot recently (due to his business schedules) and he felt that i don't trust him which i 100% do!!). There's no third person in the picture......just seems like he doesn't want to break up. My girlfriend thinks the same thing. If that the case i'll still continue on doing my trip.......but keep at heart that it's just timing that's wrong.

Hi guys, i'm in desperate need of help. I had unprotected sex last night, i've always been on the pill but i stopped two weeks ago. So i'm guessing i'm supposely furtile at the momemt. I heard that it takes a couple months for the body to regulate itself naturally. Any chance that i will get pregnant? There's a snow storm outside so i can't get out to get plan b...will taking regular birth control pills ie. double dosage works like plan b? One time when i was at the clinic getting morning after, that's what a doctor gave me.

Thanks guy.....it's just his action and words doesn't make sense or am i looking and thinking too much into this? Women tend to think and over think too too much. i turned off my cell again....i really need to be away from him to let him think as well as let myself prepare emotionally for the worse. I just HAVE to believe in him if i want this to work out. All i can do is stay positive and hopefully things will turn out in good favours. I've even talked to a psychic about it.......and she said he'll come around early or mid January which is around 2 weeks. Our relationship went on waaay too fast. I told him that we can take it slow.......i asked if he still loves me and he does. So i told him if there's still even an ounce of love left, we can work on that......cuz if that goes out then it'll be too late. He said he'll think about it. And soo.........i'm going MIA on him again. Anybody else in the similiar situation with the whole 'gut feeling' excuse?

my boyfriend of almost 5months told me on friday early morning that we need a break because he said his gut feeling is telling him that there is doubts in the relationship and thereforeeee needs time to step back and think about it in a different perspective rather than being blurry in the relationship. At first we were talking in a normal manner, he crack some jokes here and there and then i just lost it... I had a terrible terrible relationship before him so i was 'broken' in a way. I had a hard time trusting men. I started yelling at him saying that people who go on breaks doesn't talk like this and neither do they call and see each other for a period of time. He then reassures me that it's not as bad as i think. I have lots of questions to ask him but he said he doesn't have the answer to them right now. Anyways, i initiated NC after he left this early morning seeing that he didn't pick up my phone calls so i figured he need time to himself. I turned off my cell and went MIA and told my sis to NOT give the cell back to me for at least a week. I made alternate arrangements to go to work on New Year's Eve instead of waiting around for him. I couldn't concentrate at work and left early.....went home and check his online profile and it said it's single. I was devastated.....and so i called him back, saw that he txt me saying my phone has been turned off for quite sometime and to call him back when i get the msg. And so i confronted him and he said he did it to get attention and clearly it worked. He said he was worried about me and asked if i wanted to go to TO for new years eve....i thought NC worked!! and that things were ok again...NOPE! His sole reason was that he was worried about me...........so after the countdown at his apartment, i said i wanna go home...after the whole hysterical crying break down that he witness that he wasn't suppose to see. At the end of the night..........i asked if he'll still call me...........he said yes. and that he'll still come in and see me. He said he'll give me a straight answer soon...it won't be too long. God..........i'm sooo depressed.......especially during the holidays DOESN"T HELP AT ALL.......... HELP GUYS!!!!!!! i can only do NC.......why doens't he just spare me and call if off instead of making wait in the limbo like this??!!!

LOL i used to be an avid House watcher until i started my new job and made me missed the complete 3 season and some of the 2 season. I will get back to that no worries. It's hard not to think about the situation. Love make us all blind and do things out of emotion instead of logical. It was the same when i was in depression after my ex dumped me out of the blue. The logical thing to do was cut him out of my life but at that time i wanted to get back together with (hence all these crazy postings on this forum and vast amount of energy and time spent on googling how to get him back). At this point i MUST grow up...be content with myself first...cuz we all know life's a b1tch as it is....added more stress is not good at all... Thank you all..~ have a happy holidays!

Thanks guys...i tried not calling him or even shut off my cell phone for two days and when i turn it back on i found a txt of him saying he misses me and was thinking of me and asked where i go (cuz he couldn't get a hold of me). So...in some ways he cares. Is just yes, his work is top priority right now and that's what i hate about the situation. I tried to concentrate on other things and pretend i'm single and get on with my life. When i do get to see him all we do is 'make love' and when i leave i always have this empty feeling inside not only cuz i missed him, but i would just stand there wondering what the hell am i doing here. And yea, i feel used like that sometimes. There is love in the relationship........but love is not everything. I stalked up on chocolates and Grey's Anatomy. I just got an offer of interview in Toronto and when i get this job i'm moving there. At first it was a way to get closer to him but now i want to do this for myself. I need to focus on my career and my family. From what i learn from my last relationship, family is so much more important. I'm spending xmas eve with my family and aslo invited my best friend who doesn't want to travel too much to go back home for a nice turkey dinner. Then on xmas day i'm working instead, originally had it off but i gave it to my colleague so that she can have a nice xmas dinner with her mom and family (she lives 3 hrs away from her mom). In terms with bf, i don't want to talk to him for a while. He said he needs time to sort his businesses out fine...he can get all the time he needs....i'm expecting he'll make it up somehow in the future but that expectation is extremely low. He kept apologizing and said it's unfair for me and such. But those are just words. Action speaks louder than words and at times he does make a great effort to 'put me in his schedule' but seeing him work so hard just to squeeze a couple hours of 'us' time makes me feel like he should use that time to catch up on his work instead. You guys are right, 40mins is not LDR....it's pathetic huh? People who are miles away have a stronger communication than us. I still have alot to learn in life. This forum is great...whenever i need to talk i know people will always respond without being biais.......

From reading other posts, all you people's LDR has a further distance than i do....mine is only 40 mins away but the problem is he's a very very very busy man. I met him online four months ago....and i came out of a bad relationship which i posted about it....(in the getting back with ex section) cuz i was that desperate then after the cloudy depression left me i was fine again and then i met this guy online. He's 29 and i'm 23 .... he's well established working on his own company along side with his consultant job. Lately after signing a new contract that company has been giving him a hard time with unrealistic deadlines and with his company there's new projects coming all the time. I haven't seen him for 2 weeks and this weekend marks the third. I will definitely not see him for the holidays either and this gets me really depressed. I was looking forward to spending out first holiday together but everytime he said how much work he has or how little sleep he gets, i feel guilty cuz he's wasting me talking to me on the phone. Or when i ask if he's free this weekend i feel bad cuz i would take away his precious time. Time that he doesn't even have. When we do see each other (which means a couple hours, it used to be a full day or the weekend... he checks his cell constantly and looks at the watch alot. That's a major turnoff. I want to break things off with him..........i just can't stand the depression. It's eating me up inside...i don't even get to talk to him on the phone. He's busy all day and when he does call, it will be minutes before he goes to bed so we don't have a normal convosation. Whenever i tried to talk about our relationship problem he changes subject or says he has to sleep now and we both know he's avoiding the topic. Last night he said he doesn't have the time or energy to talk about this and will call me later and to give him some time to let his busy pass. I still can't help but feel sad and disappointed about this holiday. It was suppose to be warm and fuzzy...........now all i can feel is cold and despire. I don't know what to do anymore...

That's great!!! It'll be a one year anniversary for me on 1st of August. I can't wait.........i felt so much lighter now that i'm not in that gloomy hole. The problem now is to trust guys again..........date again...*sigh*

I 100% agree with this. I'm at the stage where i DO NOT want him back but still fantasizes meeting him, seeing him again, getting back together with him. I think on a more subconscience level we want to show what they're missing, what they left behind. Kinda like a revenge tactic to me. One of these days, i will contact him and meet him face to face, i'll be better, happier with or without him. Life goes on.........they say the best revenge is to live better than them. I can finally see the truth in this. If it were me almost a year ago.........i'll probably still sulking and throwing all my dignity away into getting him back.

It's hard to believe that it's been almost 9months since i started NC....although we had brief contacts over the course, i still consider it as NC cuz to me, it wasn't even a real contact. Just very short like a coupel of sentences emails to exchange pleasantries. Memories of him are fading but it's sad to say only the good ones are left. I still dream and think about him often but that sad crying feeling is almost gone. I can safely look at his pictures without breaking down. I only felt indifferent. Only the good memories makes me sour. The bad things is however, i developed a phobia of guys who has feelings for me. If i sense even a bit of feeling that a guy might have for me, i began to gap and might even throw up. The thought of being with another guy makes me feel this way too. *sigh* I don't think i could trust another guy again. It was my first relationship so the scars are really really bad. They say the first one always first the most but eventually you'll get over it. I hope i can get past that too. Time heals everything..........but how long will that take?? At the very least, i've gone to really want him back to indifference. When people ask me if he asks to get back together, i can say NO now. At least not now. but the future is uncertain............that's all i can say. just some random rant.......that's all. wonder if you people are feeling the same way as i do.

Hey guys... Thoughts of the ex has been haunting me lately. Mainly due to the things i still need to get back from him. We haven't talk face to face since last October and since then there's been LC...and by that i mean 3-4 short short emails....like greetings. And there was this one time (recently) where he checked out my friendster web page. I don't know what all this means and to say i don't care would be a lie. I'm alright maintaining a contact with him as long as i don't see him or talk to him on the phone. Mainly cuz the last meeting we had was a pretty ugly one and the stuff he said was really harsh. Now it makes me scared to even email him....afraid that any words coming out of his mouth would be nasty. But there a still a few things that i want back from him. Things that i can't leave behind cause of other sentimental reasons unrelated to him (ie. a rice cooker that belonged to my late father) My friend just told me to email him. But i'm afraid to see him...........i talked to his mom about it. I should just wait for his mom to come back from her trip to retreive my stuff. I know he's away for school right now........so it's just his parents at home. But now i'm afraid of seeing his parents too..........cuz i dunno what to say to them if they asks about the break up......or me blaming them for having such a horrible son...... so stressed..........

Hey guys....i haven't been to this site lately but something simliar happened to me so i came to and i'm glad i'm not the only one going through this. I was checking my friendster and saw that my ex was checking out my page. There's a function on friendster that tells you who viewed your profile so i know it's him. He dumped me 7months ago and i went through hell and back. Now i wonders why he's snooping around looking at my stuff. He doesn't have a profile...he just signed up to look at people's pages....so it had me thinking....but you know what? THINKING TOO MUCH WILL DRIVE YOU NUTS!!! People are generally curious. I'll admit that i still check out my ex's xanga......there's no reason why they can't do the same. The difference it's that they are the dumpers and looking into the dumpees' sites. That's what driving us dumpees nuts... I say don't think about it too much. It'll just give you a headache that you don't need.