TooBroken

...or how to love someone for that matter. They say that children learn from their parents and if that's true, then I don't think I've ever known how to love another human being my entire life. Because whenever I go to my parents for support and comfort about a problem (ie being unhappy in life), they just tell me to "deal with it"...or that they weren't given much choices in life either so why should I be complaining about my life. I feel like this little child who's crying on the inside and wanting to hugged and comforted by my parents...but I get neither. So that's how I'm treating everyone atm - I tell them to deal with it. I don't know how to sympathise, I don't know how to extend any love or care. I'm just a stone inside and its no surprise everyone hates me because of it.

I was in love with a man once who broke my heart. But he did not break me nor did he break my soul. I miss him very much and there are times when I think about him, I start to cry. But deep down inside, I feel a great sense of pain from loss. I feel melancholy. I lost someone I loved and cared deeply about. And I think of these feelings as evidence that he was important to me, that he meant something to me. So no matter what, I feel it pointless in simply trying to "get over him". I think maybe I should just accept what I feel - that I will always like or love whatever it was that I saw in him. Will this make me a stronger person? Will this help me grow into a better person? I don't know, but what I do know is that I allowed him to show me the world - and it was beautiful because he was beside me. I am blessed to have such memories of him and I don't regret it. Not for one moment. PS: Would like people's thoughts...am dealing with this in a good way or am I just really in a different form of denial?

I think when you're IN depression, its difficult to have the motivation to make changes or allow yourself to be cheered up by positive talk. Its a terrible place that you're kinda locked into and you feel equally powerless to get out of it all the same. I have great respect for the people that find it within themselves to "get the ball rolling" but I equally understand how others might find the process all too difficult.

As stated in the title, I have a problem commiting to anything in my life. All I seem to do is tell myself things I'd like to do but never end up making the effort to do them. Its so frustrating. What is wrong with me? For example, I've been wanting to learn to swim for the past few years but when it came time to "commiting" myself to the program, I couldn't do it. I've talked about learning to cook more things but I haven't even opened th new books I've bought. When friends invite me out for dinner/drinks/party, I never seem to be able to say "yes I'll be there". I always leave it till the last minute and now they all think I'm unrealiable (and I don't blame them for thinking that). In the end, I lose friends and have a pretty empty life. Its all making me feel so miserable and depressed having this flaw. And the worst thing is I don't know why I do these things or why I'm this way!! Is it because I'm afraid or something or...??? Can anyone give me some advice please? I'm desperate to change but I don't know how to

What if there is a person who you, despite time and effort, continue to love? You're not in love with them but there is a part of you that continues to love them, that wants to be with them and be part of their life. But equally, you also know that for whatever reason, you will never be with them (like that line from "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt). What happens if you cannot let them go from your heart? Does it mean you'll never let anyone else love you? Does it mean you'll most likely end up miserable and lonely?

He knew I liked him for months yet he never mentioned anything about having a gf. I've been talking to him over the internet for months and now I feel like a fool. He says he's sorry but isn't that a little too late? I'm sick of guys using me. And I hate myself for being so stupid!!! What should I do about him??

In answer to your question btbt - I'm Jap and my familiy is relatively traditional (we fly back to visit my grandparents almost every 2 years). I havent told them yet but I anticipate it will be a problem. I dont fear rejection per se...I just dont want to fool myself into thinking something like this will work when my gut instinct tells me otherwise.

I'm an asian girl and who's completely smitten by this russian guy who I've been dating for just over a month now. But I fear its too big of a culture clash and fear he'll dump me soon. Do people think its too great a culture clash? Should I just end it now to prevent future heartache? P/S: Thanks for everyone's PMs and msg when I was going through a horrible time and wanting to kill myself. I went and got some help and I'm still healing...

Dear all...I'm writing this because I feel I've nowhere left to go. I feel so depressed and lonely inside that I just want to kill myself, right here, right now. My life is a charade. I have nobody. Every weekend is spent alone in my home. Nobody ever calls me. Nobody ever wants to go out with me. I must be the biggest loser and everybody's just laughing at me. I don't know what to do or where to go to find people. I just want die atm and then I wont have to care anymore.

I'll try and make this as simple as possible. I got into a really big mess with a guy. I guess he was kinda my friend (we hung around the same people) before we got together, only for him to say "sorry but no" 3 days later. At that point, I was devasated, at a bad time in my life and couldn't handle it emotionally. Don't really know why it affected me that much. I felt angry but we never really talked about it. By the time I'd wanted to talk, he was over it. Then I made the biggest mistake - I slept with him and we continued to make out now and then. But with each time, my emotions got the better of me and after each night, I wanted to hang in his room but he'd tell me to get back to my dorm. One night, I got so destructive I decided not to leave. I knew I was being unreasonable, I knew I was being annoying, I knew I was acting childish but somehow, I ceased to care anymore. He shouted and told me to leave. We've never spoken since and its been 3months now. I don't know why I was like that. Like everything that was bad about me came through. It was probably the most self demeaning, self destructive thing I've done. I still feel really stupid for getting involved when I knew he didn't want to be with me. I still blame myself for that. Yet I'm afraid he's out there telling all my friends that I'm some annoying psycho who didnt want to leave him alone. I don't want him or my friends to think bad of me...because I don't believe I'm that. I don't know why I reacted so badly. What do you all think of me? P/S: I haven't written everything coz I didn't want to make this a long post. Feel free to ask me more questions.

Myrddin, I'm not quite sure if I've always felt this way. But I know I've always had low self esteem and a tendency to look on the negative side of things. I don't know why...maybe it was something that happened to me as a child. I get frustrated at myself when I do that, I hate it being part of who I. I can't change it yet I can't live with it being a part of me. I hate being conflicted inside as a person. On the realistic front, I'm not getting fantastic marks at uni, can't find part time work, don't have many friends, was never good at sport..........well, the list goes on...... As for doctors, well....that will be another reason for people to laugh at me and prove how abnormal I already am so no doctors thank you.

I've come to the conclusion that my life has been a pointless, meaningless series of events, strung together only for the sheer entertainment of others to laugh at me and watch me fall. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of living. I'm tired of people telling me that's how life is, how its unfair and I just need to suck it up and deal with it. Everyone around me seems so harsh, their words like acid to my skin. All they're interested about is telling me to deal with it. They don't care about my pain. They don't care about me. I don't know the point of this post. But that shouldn't be surprising since there really isn't any point to my life anyhow...