FuryLost

Ah, gotcha. Just looked up F-K and that's quite an interesting formula you guys have to use. The story does have a certain cadence to it, however. But I liked it. The character interaction is great and it's not secret that they all hate and mistrust each other. The tease at the end, with that secret female spy, is also pretty intriguing. There are some minor mistakes (punctuation, grammar) but that just might be a consequence of a first draft or so. I've always enjoyed stories where characters are trying to find some angle, some advantage over on another and are willing to backstab each other.

Eh, to be fair numbnut you do have a runaway with those commas. "Her gait was feminine and seductive, she almost glided accross the room and stood next to Sable where she stopped and knelt next to the King, without a word she offered him a hand, which he took and tenderly kissed before it was withdrawn back under cover."

*I'm not a published writer, just someone who enjoys CW immensely so please don't take my criticism to heart.* Whoa, this one fell between the cracks on ENA. Can't believe no one commented on it for 4 months! Firstly and most importantly the prose is wonderfully written throughout the entire section. Though it is a bit wordy sometimes. Every sentence is a bit too descriptive, though I understand sometimes necessary for the setting ("The trees held a frightened appearance..."). But some of the sentences are very close to being construed as run-ons ("The river, serving as a faithful guide, continued to lead the men..."). You could chop that sentence into two and still keep that incredible atmosphere, in my opinion. But, again, it is written with an very good control of imagery and descriptions. It just gets lost sometimes in the imagery. So this troupe of horsemen are trapped in this dark, hellish forest, right? End up stumbling upon a curious, yet chilling girl and one of the horseman panics and ends up shooting her. She goes flying into a wild river and Edward and Marshmallow leaps into save her? Right off the bat I like the suspense and mystery. Can't quite tell if that girl is really a witch in the disguise of a girl or simply an innocent girl victimized by a man turned "lame" (to use a horse term). And finally, is it historical fiction or just a pure fantasy yarn? P.S.: You wouldn't be a poet, would you? I read this book a while back written by a poet-turned-author who had a highly-specialized control over prose. I mean, he wrote the entire book as if it were a poem. It was of a highly similar vein as this story (post-colonial times, monster inhabiting the woods, incredible prose) so much I'm wondering if you're actually him! I've forgotten the author and that work, though....just seems like a poet is skilled enough to keep the same level of description throughout the story.

Nah. It just makes you an normal, hot-blooded male. Every male has at least a few nude or suggestive pictures on their computer or magazine clippings hidden in their toolbox or taped to their walls. The general consensus is that the female body is an amazing piece of art itself, after all. But is it a turnoff to women? Well, I wouldn't be pulling them off the shelves when women hop onto the couch if I were you....I'm sure they'd understand but they might jump to conclusions about what you want out of them if all they see are nude, scantily-clad women. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I've raised questions myself about whether I'm a pervert (a normal, hot-blooded male here) because I'm in the process of learning to draw erotic art. I won't get into details, but I try to keep the art as tasteful as possible without turning it into outright porn. It's more the side of appreciating a woman's body for the "art" aspect as opposed to the "sexual" aspect in my eyes. It's an odd paradigm (art vs. sexuality) that keeps shifting depending on my mood. But it's all normal and cool, and most importantly healthy.