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somechick99

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  1. I am interested in hearing his perspective on it, particularly because I do respect him as a person and as my friend. He is intelligent so his viewpoint is worth hearing to me. I guess I just found it disturbing seeing the photos of some of the animals he has killed. But it's unfair of me to assume he did it for fun - for all I know he ate the deer. Thanks for your reply.
  2. Lately I befriended someone who I have a lot of fun hanging out with. I'm a 29 year old woman and he is a 35 year old male. We have some different moral values, however I am open to being friends with people whose values different from mine, at least to an extent. I don't think two people seeing an issue differently means one of them is a bad person, and I try and remain open-minded to understanding where other people are coming from. We differ on a few different issues, and one of them in particular is eating meat. Now I have never pushed my beliefs onto this friend and I am well aware that he eats meat. While I don't agree with his decision, I am still willing to be his friend. This does not affect his treatment of me and I realize his diet is something he has to decide for himself. I have been a vegan for the past 6 years and feel strongly that its the ethical choice, but it's not like I refuse to associate with those who are not. However, I recently found out that he hunts for fun several times throughout the year. I only know this because his social media profile popped up as a suggested add on instagram and he has pictures of him hunting etc as well as pictures of a few animals he has killed. That is something I find extremely messed up and disturbing, and to me is crossing a line that is much worse than just consuming meat. He does not seem like a violent person at all in conversation. I know I cannot change him, but I am now re-thinking my friendship with him completely. The only mention of hunting he has made to me is that as a kid, his father took him a few times. He did not tell me it is still actively something he enjoys today. Please note that I am not posting this to debate the morals of hunting but rather to gain some insight as to at what point moral differences should end a friendship as well as how to end that friendship when they do. Do I tell him I find the hunting disturbing? Do I ask him his perspective on it and engage in a civil debate? Do I just tell him flat out that we can't be friends? Any insight is appreciated.
  3. This is a good point about the stress being temporary and natural. If I wasn't dealing with the crunch of all these different classes I would continue school next term. I do feel concerned about my ability to get out of the crunch, however. I no longer have certain resources that were necessary for last term's classes and with work taking up a good deal of my time, I may only be able to finish this term and not the previous one. Anyways thank you for your response, I'll meet with a counselor and see what my options are regarding the incompletes from last term.
  4. Thanks for your reply. Honestly I don't have a specific "I want to do this" career in mind. I only know what I do and don't have an interest in. I have no interest in raising children or really even getting married though I suppose there's an outside chance that will change in my 30s. I do have an interest in psychology with a deeper interest in spirituality, meditation and metaphysics (I realize those don't translate to any real degrees lol).
  5. I'm a 28 year old woman who is currently both enrolled in a university psychology program and bartending on the side. I had previously enrolled in college years ago (twice) and dropped out (also twice) because I didn't really feel that it was aligning with my goals or benefiting me socially or emotionally. In fact, it made me depressed and I hated my classes. I re-enrolled in fall of 2020 because I was granted VA benefits through my veteran father that will actually pay me $1200 monthly to go and I needed the extra money at the time. Even since 2020, I have switched my major three times and felt pretty meh about my classes, but I have managed to maintain straight-As pretty easily. I should emphasize that a LOT of pressure from my parents (dad in particular) has been put on me to stay in school, and while I realize it is ultimately not his choice I'd be lying if I said it hasn't influenced my decisions. Regardless, the extra 1200 each month has been nice and overall has been worth the pay off. Well, last term I got COVID in the middle of the term and the school gave me until the end of this term (ends on the 18th of this month) to complete both this term's and last term's classes. While this is partly due to poor time management on my part, my laptop, router, and phone all broke within a 7 day period and it took quite some time for me to have the funds to repair all of these things. Not having access to my computer or internet has set me back to the point where I'm not only behind in last term's classes but now also somewhat behind in this term's. (I went to the library when possible to do my work, but they are open limited hours and I also have a job). Is it beating a dead horse for me to keep trying to make this school thing work? It is nice to feel like I will have a future to fall back on other than bartending (although at the moment I really love it and it's great money. I could easily live off of it alone for quite some time). It also seems dumb in a sense for me to throw away my GI bill benefits, and dear lord do I not want to deal with my dad's reaction to me quitting. But it is stressing me out beyond belief at this point. The thought of not being in school and just bartending full time sounds really relieving to me but I also dread the feeling of regret years down the line, still in the service industry well into my late 30s and 40s. I should add that VA benefits do have a time limit, this is not something I could undo years later if I wanted to go back to school. Any outside perspective is appreciated.
  6. Thanks for the reply, I agree with what you're saying. The question now is what to do going forward. Seeing someone every 2-3 weeks with the occasional text for months on end is a waste of time IMO and will never put me in a position where I'm comfortable enough to sleep with him. I think I phrased my original post not too well - while I'm enjoying dating around as I'm sure he is too, I still want an intimate and close relationship with the people I'm seeing. So I do want something "serious" in that manner.
  7. There's a free audiobook on YouTube called "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" and it's only a few hours long, I recommend you check it out
  8. Matched with a guy on Bumble, we met up shortly after and there was a definite vibe. This was 6 weeks ago and ever since this incident we have hung out only two more times. Once was less than a week after date one and the other time wasn't until this past weekend. We do live an hour away from each other and have taken turns driving or met halfway, but I actually don't get the vibe this is what's stopping us from hanging out more. He and I are both the type to take regular road trips and have both expressed that the drive is beautiful and not a big deal for us. I should note we haven't done anything past making out at this point and I don't plan to unless his interest is more clear. I'm not actually looking for a monogamous or serious relationship but I also need to feel like the other person in into me and I guess I'm feeling sort of breadcrumbed or like he's purposely spacing things out so I don't think he's serious, and that is a major turn off. I'm posting this because I don't know the best way to communicate this to him or if it's even worth continuing at all at this point. We text maybe once or twice per week. To be fair, due to how slowly/weirdly things are going I haven't been acting all warm and flirty as much lately so he may be questioning my interest as well. He initiated our most recent texts and our last hang out. I've had a pattern where I think guys aren't interested so I withdraw, then later it's revealed he thought I wasn't all that interested and that's why he was playing it so cool. So I can't really tell if he's truly bread crumbing me or if I'm coming off cold and now he's hesitant to pursue. To top it off I ran into his Hinge profile that said "Active Today" the day after we last hung out. I sent him a heart so he knows I saw him and that I'm still active, after which he sent me a text about how he had fun the other night but hasn't matched me back. Once again, I don't want a monogamous relationship but also don't feel like we're really progressing and I want to communicate with him as to not waste any further time. I am also talking to another guy and I assume he is talking to other girls, but I do enjoy my time with him and would be bummed to toss him if unnecessary.
  9. Good idea, I am setting up a meeting with an advisor. Thanks for the reply.
  10. I'm 27 years old and a sophomore at my local university. I tried college years ago, had addiction issues and just hated school in general so I dropped out. I re-entered school after having been sober for a couple years and also finding out that due to my father's veteran status in the past, I was qualified for free college and a small amount of money each month (1200 or so) for going to school. Since re-signing up one year ago I've maintained a 4.0 and everyone is proud of me and everything but I can't say I feel like I'm doing what I want to be doing. I started with a digital arts major and it wasn't what I expected so I switched to a film major which I'm also finding not to be what I've expected but I'm hesitant to switch majors yet again and don't even know what I would choose if I did. I would love to major in theater (my college's top major), psychology, women's studies and/ or social work but I've heard that these majors can be majorly pointless or you would need a phD to find a real job and I can't imagine being in school that long. Another thing I'm not liking about college is that even with my monthly check (it is less than 1200 if we have time off school) and a job on the side, I am struggling financially quite a bit. My monthly check mostly goes to my rent and bills. I hate to admit sometimes my parents help me but I feel awful about it every time they do. My #1 interest in life is spirituality and meditation though there's not really any majors that align with that interest (at least at my school, we don't even have a theology major) so here I am still doing film. I'm not sure what I'm expecting to get out of this post and I understand that a lot of people have their career path and then they have their hobbies, and that's fine. But a lot of those people are really unhappy because work takes up most of their time. I heard the saying once "if you love what you're doing you never work a day in your life" and that's the goal I have for myself in any chosen career path. Any life advice from someone who can relate or who has been through a similar situation would really be appreciated. Thank you
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