muskrats21

perfect!!!!

Day 6 Tuesday April 1 Feeling about the same... misery. Decided to drown my sorrows last night. Just woke up. Late for work cant focus on anything. To add fuel to the fire I got a text from her this morning that was the most painful thing not to respond to. Sucks! Feeling worse than yesterday.

Day 5- Monday March 31st Took absolutely everything I had to not text her this morning. Wanted to out of both anger and love. First weekend we didn't spend together in awhile. We work a lot during the week and see eachother here and there. Weekends are usually our time and they were GREAT!! Wanted to find out what she was doing. If she talked to her EX. Went out with him somewhere? Also, very strange and hurt not texting or calling on Monday mornings while we are getting ready to go to work for the day. Usually start out our work week talking to eachother about work and what we have to do this week.

My story: We fell madly in love. She was in a relationship of 4 years which ended 7 months ago. We've always had a "thing" for eachother. Known her for 20 years. We've both been divorced. Both in another serious relationship after. And then both single. Our timing was perfect. So we went out on a date and it just went CRAZY from there. Head over heals about eachother. Everything you would ever want in a relationship! I could elaborate, but I've told my story in a few threads. The short version is... it was like nothing we've ever experienced before. Love like no other. THAT kind of love. After 7 months and him finding out she was happy and serious again, he decided to walk back in her life and tell her he wants her back. She is conflicted and tells me about it. After a week of pleading and begging and selling myself, I joined here. I threw everything but the kitchen sink at her trying to make her wake up. I firmly believe it's simply because he doesn't want her with anyone. Why wouldn't he have this revelation when he was with her or when she was single? But anyway.... She wanted "time" and "space" to figure out what the feeling was. She loves me I know that. And never really officially broke up. She just said she has to sort her feelings out. Which to me meant wants to explore something with Ex. I told her i'm not sitting on the sideline in some sort of half assed competition while she decides if she wants me or not. That should already be answered. So that's how it was left. I have no clue what she has done since then in regards to her Ex ( I presume established contact again). So... yes I accept the challenge. It is day 4 for me of not making contact to her. She did send me a text 2 days ago telling me she hasn't stopped thinking about me and hopes I'm well. Not sure what that counts towards but I didn't reply. Some juvenile back and forth FB posts about relationship kind of quotes obviously for the other to see. I since deleted the ones I put up. Was kind of still trying to get my point accross indirectly I guess. So it's really been 2 full days of absolutely nothing I guess. To be honest, feel horrific!!!! Just miss her so much. Weekends were our time together. Thought of her making arrangements with her EX makes me want to puke. Thought of if she is even thinking about us or not disturbs me too! But I will not bend or give in as bad as I want to. So... I'm in I guess. I will post here daily

Why? Do you even miss or think about me? You said you were the happiest you've been in your life. I was meant for you. Nobody ever had flowers delivered to your house. Nobody ever surprised you with house full of candles and cook you dinner when you walk in. Nobody pulled out a chair or opened a car door. Nobody ever looked at you the way I did or touch you. Nobody ever put themselves before you. You have never had a friend as well as a boyfriend at the same time. Nobody ever moved mountains and gave you butterflies when you see them. You said (even on the last day of us) that WE are perfect! There is not a single thing you would ever change. Then why? For an ex that decided to contact you after 7 months of being broken up with you? Simply because he doesn't like the fact of you moving on and being with me? That's the basis of getting back together? He walked out on you and your kids 7 months ago and now running back promising the world and change? You are so blinded by old memories and emotions right now. I feel you've made a huge mistake and life altering for us both. It's just wrong! I'll be the one someday that you're looking back on the memories of. I fear at that point I will be gone.