littlebird
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
littlebird replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
You are an idiot. Good luck. -
Post here instead of contacting your ex!
littlebird replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I am angry with you. I'm annoyed with you. You choose to walk away rather than deal with problems. Problems that could have easily been overcome. And then you walk around getting drunk, not sleeping, and crying your eyes out because you are so upset. For months. When we could have just worked it out. You are an idiot. There is no other explanation. -
Day 9. Yesterday was very tough, but feeling better today. The truth is, this relationship was never going to work out, the guy has a serious problem with his priorities. He would say things, but his actions were not supporting them. He is full of issues. I frequently felt let down. Perhaps I really dodged the bullet here. Going to see a counsellor today, haven't been since March. Hopefully this will help.
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Day 8. He is really gone. And perhaps it's for the best. It's very hard to accept that someone you loved was not right for you and that the relationship you put your heart in meant less to them than to you. When I think about the problems and the fights we had - they could have been resolved if we were both willing to make an effort. He decided not to bother, he chose to walk away. That is not love.
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Day 7. Went out last night, it was fun but the thoughts of my ex literally never leave me. Today was just walking to a shop in the morning and was suddenly hit by this overwhelming feeling of missing my ex. While I have fun with other people, and yeah I find other guys attractive, I just remember this amazing connection that we had, this feeling of closeness. When he would just hold me in his arms and everything felt right, like the world could fall apart and I'd be fine as long as he's holding me like that. How happy we both were. Obviously this memory is from the stage of our relationship where everything was good between us, not the last two months where things went wrong. And I know he misses that too. But to him it's clearly not enough. And it hurts so so much to realise that he was willing to throw it away, that he didn't want to work things out in the end. I really believed that once the dust settled we could have rekindled what we had. But I was wrong, so wrong.
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Day 6. Woke up early this morning and then spent 5 hours crying, I'm not kidding. A waste of time, I have a lot to do. But i just can't help it. I want the pain to go away Letting go of hope and accepting he's moving on is very tough.
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littlebird replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
You never asked why I felt unhappy towards the end. No wonder. You treated me like I didn't matter, I felt so so lonely. Lads, drinks, and drugs was way more important. You said you wanted to settle down and tone down partying, you suggested to live together. Even when you promised to spend a Saturday night with me, you'd suggest to buy drugs. And you dare tell me I was "sometimes too much fun". You were ALWAYS too much fun. I tried to keep up. I loved you, I was so blind I couldn't see another way to make you happy. We were both acting stupid and after looking back I thought that going through this ordeal would teach us a lesson. I certainly learned. That's what I meant when I said "it had to happen". But you don't seem to have understood. You think that I'm some kind of monster, that out of the blue I "became a different person". You didn't see any fault in your actions, you just blamed me for the fact you were upset. You broke my heart into a million pieces and just carried on living the life that ruined us. I was heartbroken after what happened to us, I perhaps didn't express it enough when we spoke last but I have had nightmares every night to this day. -
Getting back together really does happen!
littlebird replied to wishingonastar's topic in Getting Back Together
Got a new reconciliation story, unfortunately don't have many details. Was speaking to a colleague of mine today, she recently got engaged. To my surprise, she told me that they actually split up last year. They were together for about 6 years, broke up (don't know if mutual or not) and were apart for 6 months. They still saw each other sometimes as they had a lot of mutual friends, but generally led separate lives. Then after 6 months he told her that he still had a trip abroad booked (from when they were still together), said he was still keen to go and asked if she'd like to come too. She was unsure at first but agreed to the trip, and they've been back together since and got engaged on another holiday last month. If I find out more details, I'll post here She also said that being apart for some time was actually good for them as they've been together for so long since they were quite young. She also said that it is important to let go of the past and forgive the other person for some of the mistakes they might have made.- 2,465 replies
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Day 5. Felt weepy this morning. Yesterday was wallowing in misery, so today listening to some cheesy pop music to cheer myself up. Lots of work today so keeping busy. I need to meet some new guys to remind me that there are decent men out there. Just so busy as studying for an exam now, can't really go out that much
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Day 4. Feel like death. All of the bad memories are hitting me like a truck, almost passed out on the tube today. Oh God, please can I feel better again...
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Day 3. I've had enough. He will regret letting me go one day. For now, I just can't be bothered anymore. He's an immature idiot and I deserve better.
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littlebird replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I really wish you would get out of my head so that I could focus on my work! Please. I really, really need to get a lot of work done. I am going insane today. I know you are struggling to forget me. I wish you would just let go of the past and admit we still have feelings for each other. But no, you are hell bent on convincing yourself we were not to be. Even though it hurts you. If that's the route you choose, good luck. Because I will continue to make it very very hard for you to get over me. By being beautiful, and sweet, and successful, happy with who I am and how I live. By being me. -
Day 7. Dreams were disturbing last night, however the day was alright! Went out for some drinks last night, met quite a few new people who were all really interesting company. Flirted with one of the guys, he got my number and texted me today to meet up next week. Also two blasts from the past have been texting non stop, wanting to meet. A male friend is taking me out for dinner next week, we're just friends but he loves inviting me places, we always have a great time! Got quite a lot done today, a bit of work and also house chores. Cooked a lovely meal. Need to send off a CV now, been recommended by a friend for a potential new opportunity. Then sit back with a glass of wine and a good magazine to catch up on current affairs. Seriously, with this whole break up story I have had trouble following what goes on in the world - time to get out of the bloody bunker haha!! To be honest, this break up has done a world of good to me. Don't get me wrong, I still feel incredibly heartbroken. However, I also feel more like myself every day.
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Day 6 I am back. I first started NC about 5 weeks ago. He messaged me 2 weeks in, I ignored it. He then tried again a few days later, I responded. We exchanged a few messages in the following week, then I casually invited him to meet to catch up. He at first said he "wasn't ready to meet up as friends" but then we ended up meeting anyways. Very emotional meeting, we got some things off our chests. He was crying - I've only seen this guy cry on three occasions: when we were breaking up (he made a decision after a bad fight), when we had "the break up talk" a few days later, and during this last meeting. Neither of us brought up getting back together, although he said things like "We had many good times, it meant a lot to me, it's so difficult". And I said things like "We had it all, how could we f**k this up". Exchanged texts that night. Bumped into each other at work next day and had a casual chat. Day after he was messaging me with cute pics of animals and links to songs, so I sent some links as well and we were chatting like in good old times. So a few days later I send him a short text, just asking about his weekend. He took a DAY to reply. The response was fine, but he didn't ask any questions back and the fact that it took him a day to reply to a simple message didn't particularly make me want to continue texting. In fact, that's exactly why I started NC the first time round - I texted something simple and he only responded the next day, but I knew he was on whats app and seen the text. It's not even a "friendzone" since neither of us are really ready to be friends. So if we are not back together and not friends, I guess more NC is in order. I have been thinking about him a lot in the past week, ranging from nostalgia and imagining how happy we could be if we resolved our issues and got back together, to dark thoughts about futility of it all and how he's never going to change his mind. I was also tempted to contact him, coming up with all sorts of potential texts: casual text, happy clappy text, revealing my feelings text, etc, etc. And then I asked myself - am i prepared for ANY response, even one I don't want to hear? Will I get upset if he doesn't respond? Will I regret it if I pushed too much? The answers to all of these were "Yes". So NC it is.
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I had that too, particularly in the beginning. Just when you catch yourself feeling happy, you get scared. I think it's coz you then imagine that's how they feel without you. You are afraid that if you let her go in your head, she will let go too. Of course it doesn't work this way, but hey minds are often irrational.
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