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Trinity1607306450

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  1. Hello again Sonja All I can say is thank GOD you left when you did .. you trusted your instincts and I'm so glad that you did. Yes as the previous poster said JUMP FOR JOY .. think of the pain and anguish if this relationship lasted longer than it had .. I know it hurts .. you wouldn't be human if it didn't. But try to keep things in perspective, as difficult as that can be. Keep us posted on here and keep your chin up .. brighter days are ahead for you .. I can feel it. Take care hon.
  2. Gilgamesh I laughed long and hard at your reply .. well done my friend .. and to the lad with the minty member .. get a life!
  3. Hi Conanh You didn't say how long you had been divorced for. It's very difficult when someone fails to play by the rules, in this case a restraining order, but that's when you have to worry about your side of the street, and not hers. Perhaps now isn't the time to get involved in a relationship? Maybe a little bit of time is what it will take for your ex to leave you alone. Failing that, perhaps you need to be a little more careful about who you see and when/where you see them. Last and not least, document each and every time your ex breaches the conditions of her restraining order, and report her to the police. Her actions will eventually catch up with her. This has got to be hard on your son, too. I know you'll give him lots of love to sustain him while you both go through this. Hang in there and God Bless.
  4. Hello Tears .. My Dad always told me that when I went through dark times, it was okay to lie down and bleed awhile, in a manner of speaking, so long as I always eventually got back up. That helped me. I've learned that for every dark valley in my life, I eventually climbed out on the other side into the light and things were okay again. The peaks and valleys of life can be inordinately painful, but ultimately necessary in order to grow. I agree with Cookies, I too think you have a huge heart, and I think it's wonderful that you are there for so many others. As hard as it is, trust that when it is time for you to fall in love with that special someone, it will happen, and I'm willing to bet that it won't take much effort on your part for it to happen. If you can, try to put energy and focus into other things which give you life right now, and live life to the fullest. Love can be grand, but it's not the be-all, end-all of life. That's the beauty of life; opportunites, so many of them, are there for the taking, if only we reach out and grab them. God Bless.
  5. Hi Bishop. Welcome. I'm not a doctor but you sure sound depressed. You didn't mention in your post whether you are under a doctors care. Three years ago I took 9 weeks off on a paid leave of absense due to stress/depression/suicidal tendencies, and while initially the break was good, eventually the monotony got to me and I started to sleep around the clock. Taking time off didn't ease my depression, it made it worse. But what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. Do you have a good relationship with your employers? Would they be supportive if you were able to tell them how you feel? Do you have family or a significant other who are able to also support you? You need compassion and reassurance, and it's good to see you reaching out here, but try to do the same out in the real world, too. I believe that a problem shared is a problem cut in half. Don't give up on life. Do what you need to do to make things more manageable and just take it a day at a time. I hope this helped some. Hang in there and God Bless.
  6. It's very difficult when someone you love expresses the need for time and space but doesn't communicate on a deeper level than that. You are left with a lot of unanswered questions, and I sympathize with that. I'm a big advocate of honesty, so if you are missing her then I would tell her that. She is definitely going through something; maybe she feels that the two of you are growing apart, it's hard to say. I've been in relationships where I seemed to put all my focus and energy into it and very little on outside pursuits and I believe that kind of focus is unhealthy. Balance in all areas is key. If you can, try to let go of the outcome for now. You can't control what happens, so don't try. I think you are doing the right thing by spending some extra time with your own friends. Hopefully your girlfriend will come back to you renewed and more than ready to move forward in your lives together. You sound like a terrific guy with a good head on his shoulders. I'm sure things will work out as they are meant to. Hang in there and God Bless.
  7. Keep it to yourself, and be true to yourself too. Don't do it again. Think how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot.
  8. But what is normal for one woman, isn't for another. Go see your doctor, and let him/her advise you.
  9. He cheated on his wife to be with you .. what makes you think he won't cheat on you to be with someone new in the future? Listen, I do sympathize with you. I know that sometimes love seems to fade and we fall into an easy complacency with our partners, but DON'T fall for it. Three years down the road with this new guy, you would probably encounter the very same thing. It's so easy to lean towards instant gratification, but why not invest some time and effort, not to mention LOVE in your life-parter -- your husband. Forget this new guy; infatuation is intoxicating, but it's also usually fleeting. I don't mean to be a naysayer .. I just happen to have been there .. and am today a strong believer in commitment. Work it out with your husband. Try to rekindle that passion with him -- I'll bet it's there if you look hard enough. Good luck and God Bless.
  10. Sonja I can't tell you how proud I am of you! Your resolve and determination are apparent .. you made my day. God Bless! Trinity
  11. Hi Sonja I wish there were something I could say. I had to reply because the pain in your post was so evident. You seem like a very intelligent, kind and forgiving person. Your boyfriend was unfaithful and you obviously have enough self-respect that you couldn't carry on in the relationship after finding this out. Long-distance relationships are hard! I think it's terrific that you remained faithful to him despite this hardship and you should be proud of yourself! You held yourself above reproach; not many can claim this I'll bet. Suicide is not the answer. I work in a field where I see many families and young lives destroyed because of this. You feel all alone but you are not, I promise you this! Take it real easy on yourself right now; eat your favourite foods, sleep, take long baths, whatever it is that gives you comfort. If these suicidal feelings persist, please call someone at your local mental health crisis centre it would be completely confidential and it might help for you to talk to somebody about how you are feeling. Please let us know here how you are doing .. I'll be watching for your posts. Hang in there and God Bless.
  12. First of all Mermayd, congratulations on reaching 10 months! What a milestone! I have been sober for 19 months and remember what it was like in those first few months. Are you affiliated with a recovery program like AA or are you doing it on your own? I go to AA and it has made a world of difference to my sobriety. I was the opposite to how describe your drinking and drugging days. In the beginning it was all parties, but the last few years I drank alone. It was a very lonely time for me, and today I enjoy socializing more than I used to. However, I still choose my own company over being with a crowd, or spending time alone with my boyfriend. I don't think there is anything wrong with this, it's what makes me happy and comfortable. That, I think, is key. You shouldn't force yourself to be in a situation that may cause you undue anxiety. Be yourself, and spend time with people out of desire, not obligation, is my advice to you. If you truly are meant to be the social butterfly you once were, trust that you will naturally gravitate towards that when you are ready. It's a huge deal to suddenly find yourself sober and dealing with a lot of emotions that you had bottled up for years. Give yourself time to heal. If at any time you would like to talk about recovery, please let me know. God bless.
  13. I'll bet it would make you feel so good to set a goal for yourself and to subsequently accomplish it. You are feeling so confused by this guy and he's manipulating you through guilt over sex .. I agree with the post that said to run from him! Make a decision to not have sex with him again .. and stick to it! If you feel like you are missing him in an intimate way, then find ways to make yourself feel good .. think about it. I know what it's like to confuse love and sex .. and it is confusing! But learn to separate the two -- until you KNOW that it's love you're experiencing. If this is the guy for you, he will respect your decision to not have sex. If he continues to push, push back, girlfriend! Now grab your board and go do what you do best! God bless.
  14. Hi there. I was once in a relationship where I wanted to move forward and he was happy the way things were; I didn't doubt his love but I did doubt his ability to commit. I chose to move on and eventually found someone who loved me and was willing to make a commitment. As women, things bother us more at certain times of the month than at others. I've read that women are at their most intuitive at these times and shouldn't ignore these instinctive feelings. No one can tell you what to do because they aren't the ones who would have to live with the decision. Only you know what to do, despite your confused state of mind right now. It's obvious you love this guy and it sounds like he loves you too. But it sounds like this isn't enough for you, and that's pefectly alright. I wonder why your boyfriend tells you that he would be perfectly fine if the two of you were to break up? Does he truly mean this or is he trying to protect his feelings? If he really means what he says then it sounds like maybe you deserve someone who holds you in a much higher regard. Just my opinion. Good luck and God bless.
  15. Betty Boop .. I suggest you print your posting, and the replies you received. One day in the far off future you will perhaps be that tired wife, the overworked mother to three children. Your looks won't be your greatest asset anymore. Your confidence, which I suggest is shrinking rapidly, will continue to deteriorate. What you are doing is morally wrong, and only time and experience will teach you that. My hope for you is that you learn to love and respect others, and to love and respect yourself. As children, our parents or guardians are responsible for how we are raised. As adults, we are responsible for who we become. God bless you.
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