Lishy

let him do the persuing and let him know how interested and happy to hear from him you are Good luck

You are so right guys!!!!!!! So why is it so hard? He isnt worth my time and effort and i KNOW that but every new guy i meet just ISNT HIM!!!! I wish i never laid eyes on him -

too selfish to give me closure! ------------ Hey Peeps and peepettes!!!! I have an update on my obsession with a guy (read my previous posts for the full story) So last night i went out and had a great night but after quite a few drinks i decided to text 'him' He did not reply so i sent another text saying "ok i get the hint i wont contact you again" WIthin seconds he replied that he was just busy getting people to leave the club he works at. Funny how he replies as soon as i say i wont contact him again. So i then tell him that if he is not interested he should just tell me and be honest and that it would be cool and i would still be his friend ... he replies "dont be like that babe" So i then tell him that he shouul just be honest and that i would prefer him to tell me to **** off then to ignore me .... What does he do? He IGNORES ME AGAIN! I honestly thought i was going mad before but now i see what he does - He gives just enough to keep a little flame just barely alight. Why does he do this? What the hell is he doing why doesnt he just say ok i am not interested in you romantically - He doesnt have to be mean but he just WONT SAY IT! He is just keeping me hanging on a thread probably due to some insecurity issues of his own. He ignores my text until i tell him i wont call any more then he texts back in a second. This is so unfair of him he doesnt want me but he doesnt want me to stop contacting him Well **** him I told him i wont be contacting him any more and i WONT! Now i am getting mad at this guy who thinks he can play with my emotions instead of feeling miserable and down about him. Why cant he just be a 'man' and tell me the truth! Grrrrrrrrr Have any of you girls or guys been through this

what happened when you called?

Dark you have been GREAT - Thanks for taking the time to reply to me you are a star

Go with your head! If you are feeling doubtful then realise you do not feel that way for no reason. Men can separate love and sex but women find that much harder (I found that out the hard way) Get in his head before you get in his bed and don't tell him you are ready just to please him. Go with your instincts you have to protect yourself Good luck I know you will make the right decision

Well here is an update ...... I really could not call him as i sort of knew the answer in my mind. So i text him and said "Hi Lee i have been thinking about you a bit lately and i miss your cuddles .. If you would like something a little less casual then let me know!" I sent it hours ago and have not heard anything and i suppose I do not expect to! Oh well i feel better for letting him know how i REALLY feel so now i will have to let it go and move on i suppose! I will let you guys who gave me great advice if there are any updates. Thanks

I sent him an E mail this morning saying I really miss your cuddles If you ever want more than a casual thing let me know! Then i read what you guys wrote and unsent that mail hahahhaha - I was so close - I am so scared of rejection i dont know if i could handle him turning me down in a nice way face to face I know i am an adult - I KNOW its ridiculous that I can't just bite the bullet and tell him over the phone (It would be so easy in mail!) All i think of is that if he was REALLY interested he would contact ME!! Is this not the case with guys? remember that he hasn't got back to me when i asked him if he wanted to go out one night!

The thought of picking up the phone and saying that makes me actually feel sick! I KNOW it's the right thing to do but if he turns me down i will be so embarressed. I have never persued a man in my life! (i guess it's how guys feel all time eh .... Karma lol ) Could I e mail this to him or is that too childish? Thank you so much for your great advice sorry if you feel i am dragging this out and acting like an adolescent!

Thank you guys for taking the time to reply to me. Would he have not taken me up on the offer of a date if he wanted to see me? Will he think to himself "Why doesnt she get the message?" Ok what do i say to him? I need a male perceptive on this so i dont freak him out (I am 14 years out of practice lol)! He only lives around the corner from me so i will see him again for sure either way. Errr and can i e mail it to him hahahha i am such a wuss!! Cheers guys and thanks again! Ps .... I hate the term 'friends with benefits' too but it was a nice way of putting it

I would love to tell him how i feel but it makes me feel physically sick just THINKING about it! What would i say to him? I went into the club he works at last week and said hi then stood with my back to him just so he didn't think i was there to see HIM (How childish is THAT from a 34 year old). My feelings are that if he liked me wouldnt he make an effort and call me? Can i turn this around without humiliating myself? why am i making all this effort to show him how NOT interested i am in him when the opposite is true? I forgot to mention that a few weeks ago i casually asked if he fancied going out one night week and he replied that he would let me know as he was going to be working alot to save for his holiday ... He didnt get back to me on it!

Hi all I am new here but have found the posts really helpful to me. I am 34 and left a 14 year realtionship with my sons father last November. My confidence was really low and i honestly never thought i could ever be with another man again (I feel like WHO would want ME!) Anyway to cut to the chase i met this really really nice guy through a mutual friend in May and we got it together. This is where the problem set in ... When i was with him i would say that i dont ever want another relationship, that i would not want to introduce another man to my son and spoke about how i would just like a 'friend with benefits' as such. This WAS how i was feeling at the time. He had come out of a 4 yr relationship and still has feelings for his ex and he was very honest with me. He is a really nice guy. He would text me every day for the first week or so and we would text back and forth with jokes and general chat. He works on Friday and Saturday nights until 2.30am and i started texting him if i was out to ask him if he fancied coming over to my place after work. He would come and we would spend the night kissing and cuddling and it was so lovely (I miss cuddles so much) Then it hit me ..... he had stopped calling me or texting me first. He would reply to my texts immediately (Not just the booty call texts) but he seemed to be a bit colder. He never once asked to take me out either. Then i just stopped texting him unless it was a booty call (he once said to me "You only call me when you are out for the night" But when i would text at other times just to say hi i got a cold reply. I think about this guy so much it is driving me crazy. I think about him sporadically through the day, before i go to sleep, dream about him and wake thinking about him. I REALLY would like to be with him but feel that now he just sees me as booty call material. All my doing!!!!!!!! I really wanted to talk to him one day but was too scared just to call or text to say hi incase he ignored me (my confidence is so low i cannot take rejection of any kind right now) So instead i sent a text meant for someone else just so i could have some contact with him. He rang me immediately and was laughing at how i sent him the wrong text. It was so nice talking to him. I would love to tell him how i REALLY feel as he really has no clue and i am sure he thinks i just use him. I could not do this as i would be mortified if he turned me down. Also he is younger than me and i have a son. I do not even know if i could handle a relationship as he is the first guy i have been attracted to since my ex. I find it so hard to get a connection with guys. I feel so messed up and obsessed. I wish i could take a pill to stop feeling like this. I am constantly scheming ways to get in touch with him nonchantly without him knowing how i feel. I suppose deep down i know that he isnt interested in me as a more serious relationship. What do i do guys? I have not contacted him in a week but came very close to e mailing him a pic of my new hair colour just so he remembers me and then maybe he will call DOHH!!!!!!!. The sensible thing to do would be to call him and tell him how i feel and then if he turns me down i could move on but the thought of doing that makes me feel physically sick! I know he finds me physically attractive as i see it in his eyes when he looks at me. I am actually quite a sensible woman who can sort out any problem for my friends but with him i feel like I am going mad! Helppppppppp!!!!!!!!