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hsienko

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  1. I don't understand why after not even giving this serious thought for almost 6 months, you randomly decided to pop into my head last weekend and have done nothing but haunt me since. I'd like to think that the reason my memory of you has been trying to become relevant is because you're secretly longing for me as well. All that is is just fantasy movie talk. After 13 months the universe has been very clear: you're not coming back and regardless of what I say or do it will all be in vain. After a year of personal growth and now looking back, even if I heard you say otherwise you can't honestly tell me that you don't regret ending our relationship over some dumb text messages that threw shade at you. You know you were wrong for letting your "friends" manipulate you, blow the situation completely out of proportion, and poison your opinion of me, They were mad because I blocked them after they sent me some very odd and alarming messages on facebook and through text I can't believe after knowing that you still listened to them. I think what is probably the icing on the cake is that to end it, instead of being mature about it and just having the balls to tell me to just get lost, you tricked me saying you were going to take me home and instead drive to a parking lot of a McDonald where the entire department at our job was apparently waiting for us at and you then proceeded to blast me in front of everyone, public humiliating me while at the same time shattering my heart. Even a year later I can't believe you would be so childish and immature to listen to engage in such draconian antics especially since it looks like you fell out with your friends shortly afterwards. For a long time I felt guilty because I felt like I was the one who push you to that place but that isn't the case at all. Clearly, there was some sort of deeper issue there and I could speculate all day under the sun but at this point it doesn't matter. All I know are the fact and what they show is that you clearly didn't care about me at all since afterwards you refused to acknowledge my existence. When I tried contact you refused to answer texts, phone calls, facebook messages, messages relayed through third parities, you even tried to hide from me when I saw you in public, you just ignored me didn't even have the dencncy to tell me to f*** off what kind of sociopathic trifling is that? You seemed to just move on the day after so regardless, no matter how painful it was I tried to do the same. I mourned the end of this relationship everyday for six months while trying putting up a strong front, while you just walked on like nothing ever happened. I wonder what you think/feel on this now, I can't imagine your too happy with your decision. However, whether you are or not it does matter since you never bothered to contact me or try to reconcile. I'm not saying I necessarily wanted to make up but an effort on your part would have been nice, some closure would have been nice, would have showed you cared. I guess its good we're not together now because you were too much of a coward to honest with everyone or fully honest with yourself because of that you were too scared our relationship to the next level. I'd rather be alone than wasting my time with a coward who runs away so please tell my memory of you to leave me alone so I can focus on the present.
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