smackie9

My advice for next time: Sleep overs are for kids. As an adult you do not invite a man into your bed unless sex is on the table. Since, being intimate is very important to you, you express it firmly right at the beginning in a discussion when and how it's will or won't happen. Men are not mind readers so stop with the body language stuff! You have to tell them point blank. If a man steps over the line, you either remove yourself from the situation, or you tell him to leave right then/be strong about it. When a man doesn't know the word "NO", you send him to the curb. If a man makes you feel uncomfortable, stop dating him. This guy is all wrong for you in many ways, end this relationship. Enough is enough.

It's abuse to keep you down a notch/in your place. Some use small comments, some use manipulation/gaslighting, and some cases use physical abuse...even tho it's small non life threatening things, he's doing it to control you along with gaslighting to deflect what he is doing. He's being a bully. That's what abusers do....in larger aspects of the relationship it's good to keep you hooked/obligated while they get away with doing those things to you. They make sure that you feel guilty if you call them out on their behavior or try to leave. he's trying to pound down your self esteam...to keep you where he wants you...dependent/in love with him. It's a mental sickness. Over time it can escalate to violence. Since you have been calling him out on it, his defense is going to his family, making them believe it you that's being abusive, to hold up an innocent persona...playing the victim. he's becoming a dangerous guy OP. You need to quietly escape, find a safe place to get away from him. And when you do, do not have any kind of communication with him. He will pull out the guns on you, and become such a problem in your life.

There's being GF/BF, and there's exclusively dating. Just put it into that context. You are not living together or comingling finances, planning a marriage...just dating and getting to know one another.

Look I have worked in an office/warehouse for decades....I have seen my fair share of clowning around, teasing, ribbing, etc. Even stuff that would get you sent to HR these days. My observation is when you work with different personalities, you are going to get different reactions. With those reactions there will be misconceptions of what happened. The manager/mom talk: That's why office gossip, spreading of rumors starts to distort things. Been there seen that. Keep kool, let it go, stay professional, focus on your job.

If you have the confidence, then do it. At least try it once.

It's just coworkers goofing around/ doing a little ribbing. You are taking this way too seriously.

Then she can just it's embarrassing or it's too personal to talk about instead of just saying "it's nothing" And we don't know what results will be if he suggests time apart or whatever he chooses. He can just let this sit like this forever...if she can't have an honest conversation with her BF then what is the point of this relationship. It's not fair to him either as it is not fair to her.

The end advice is going to be the same. You two should end the relationship.

OK so you have a grown a$$ woman in her 50's that still tolerates her mother's opinions and let her dictate her life...what the hell is that? Then you have a mother that quizzes you about your education etc, and yet she has this daughter that has already had two failed marriages and is still pushed around by her own mother. Yikes. Damn you needed to be runnin away from that sir!

Leave him. Next time don't wait so long to end it. The sure sign of a man's commitment is his strong involvement of planning...he is actually physically putting putting money away, talk about how many kids he would like, where you would want to raise kids/live, having family involved etc. A ring on your finger within 2 years with a wedding date set. They say if nothing happens after 5 years, then most likely it ain't gonna happen.

They always seem to be on their best behaviour in the beginning, but when they get comfortable, the ugliness starts to come out and act like they don't care. That's the danger zone. Your gut instinct has been nibbling away at your conscience for two months now. Don't ignore it. You came here for other explanations, advice.....but I would say it's time to fold up your tent and leave this relationship.

Maybe that was his way of getting rid of you. Block this chump.

I think your parents are being a little harsh because you are troubled, and punishing you is only going to make you go down hill even more. Isolating you is going to do more damage, rather than protect you. What they should have done was actually sit down with you and talk this out. You are young, so thoughts and feelings can get confusing. So you vented a little darkness...lots of kids do that but most don't mean it. It's a cry for comfort and support...your parents have missed the mark on that. What you do about this is up to you. You know you need to do it but are you going to? Are you going to risk it? Maybe have some time to think about the consequences, hash out the pros and cons. I suggest you take up art or play an instrument to express yourself/ be creative during your time without devices. I think if you show them you can fill your time with positive things, and follow their instructions to breakup with him, you will probably get your phone back.

next time he starts being all goo with you, you say "Does this mean we are exclusive?"

No, she just needs to be truthful to him. If she can't be open and honest then why be in a relationship. Ultimatum meaning that they may need time apart for her to rethink things about what's happening. He can ask reasonably...don't need to blow this out of proportion.