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NIN2000

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NIN2000 last won the day on September 25 2013

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  1. Her excuse for postponing on both occasions was a work related emergency requiring her attention to deadlines.
  2. Wiseman2, thank you for your response. However, I’ve learned in life that people will find time and energy to do the things that they want. In the second cancellation, she didn’t offer an alternative or a follow up date. Just an apology, followed by no follow up plans and cold silence. On the other hand, I was very interested in her, nevertheless this doesn’t seem sincere.
  3. We met at a dinner party of a mutual friend.
  4. Recently I met someone at an office through a business deal. As I sat in her office I was in shock by her beauty, her charm and positive demeanor. At the same time I felt confused and a strong sense of deja-vu overwhelmed me. During our meeting we veered off business talk and began talking about our personal lives, specifically travel. To my surprise she volunteered personal information, such as the neighborhood she lives in, and shared that she is “single” along with the type of flowers she likes. Regardless, I did not ask her out nor got her number. Instead I felt confused with a high level of deja-vu, as if I had known or spoken with this woman before. Later that night, everything became clearer. Specifically, with clarity I recalled where I had met and spoken with this women before. I even recalled what we spoke about. As a result, on the next day I passed by her office and left her a thank card with her secretary. In one hour she called me, happy and very elated by my action. I then shared our past encounter and she admitted having a strong sense of deja-vu when I was in her office on the prior day. We spoke a little and before getting off the phone she asked me to stay in touch. At that point, I explained that I was leaving town for a week but upon my return would like to invite her out to lunch. She became very excited and agreed on a day. During my travels we stayed in touch via text, but nothing elaborate. However, I was surprised by many of her responses stating that she couldn’t wait to get together and see me again. When the lunch date arrived, she called me to cancel due to a work emergency. She apologized and promised to make up for it. In the same conversation she stated that she was staying late at work and ask me to pass if I was in the area. When I passed by she gave me a big hug, flattered me with compliments on my clothing and became very flirtatious. We then looked at the calendar and a dinner date. Everyday after this encounter she would text me messages eager for our dinner date to arrive. Three days prior to meeting up, I called her to make final arrangements such as time and place to dine; she then stated that she would call me back. Instead of calling she sent me a long apology text -once again cancelling, this time with a lame excuse of why she could not make it. Moreover, she didn’t even bother offering an alternative date and just went cold silent. I don’t understand why someone would go through all this effort, and with no logical reason close the door and treat me as persona non grata. Even though she doesn’t owe me anything, I felt misled and somewhat emotionally used. Why shower me with praise? Why urge me to pass by her office more often to see her? Why the endless text messages expressing how happy I made her day with my card, text, dinner, messages or flirtatious comment's? Why keep this chain of events going and on the day of getting together responding with an apologetic cancelation? Why waste such time? We all faced rejection in life. However, what bothered me more was the misleading contradiction of her actions. This was coordinated and for what reasons I don’t know. Eventually I have to return to her office and deal with her for business reasons. When it happens, I will smile, keep it professional and avoid bringing the topic up and move on. It’s best to avoid (on a personal level) people like that. However, I don’t forget and the feeling of being emotionally misled will always bother me. It’s disappointing and to a degree disrespectful. What do you think?
  5. I have a faint memory of my 8th birthday, stunning till today was the indifference of all involved: my mother, step father, grandfather etc. It shocked me to the point that I never again celebrated another birthday. I remember at age 25 a few friends surprised me with a cake and sang me happy birthday. I remember feeling surprised yet feeling awkward. Awkward that a few friends sang me happy birthday while my parents, brother and immediate family never bothered to call or mention anything. By age 30, the loneliness of my birthday was much deeper, to the point that I ignored the day all together and instead decided to go to work and keep my mind preoccupied with the goal passing the day fast. Upon arriving at work, a good friend of mine took me to his office, called his wife and his two year old daughter (who till today I adore) sang me happy birthday. Privately I cried. Years ago my aunt sent me a text wishing to meet up for by birthday week. Quickly it became apparent that she did not know the month or day of my birthday. She was 3 months off and I politely declined. Then there was my x-girlfriend, we are 32 days apart on our birthday. However, as my birthday got closer I noticed that there was no mention nor the slightest idea that my birthday was arriving. The day arrived, she was off from work and was clueless of my birthday. On the same day, my attorney, who knew my birthday as a result of legal issues contacted me and invited out to lunch. I accepted, told my girlfriend that I had a business meeting and left in her own world. My brother, my parents, my aunt, my girlfriend-those who are supposed to be important in my life never mentioned a word. As I get older, the thought of my birthday becomes harder to accept. It’s a day filled with empty memories of neglect, emptiness and regrettable memories which I can’t shake nor shake. February 9 is the worst day of my life.
  6. You are absolutely correct in your entire response. This is an issue of different personalities and expectations, and I am realizing that we are not compatible. The righting is on the wall, as painful as it will be, I'm going to have to cut my losses and move on with life. I've dated plenty but never was there an issue of hygiene or cleaning with any of my past girlfriends. Thank you for your reply.
  7. The behavior has been there but it has had its up's and down's. The first time it happened, I sat down with her and politely asked her to help me keep the house clean and organized. At first she felt embarrassed by her bad habits, with time she started to make faces and act like if I was pestering her. It was then that I started to realize that we have different expectations when it comes to cleaning and personal hygiene.
  8. I've sat down with her in the past and explained that I clean up after myself and ask that she do the same. I don't like food in the bedrooms due to possible spills, bugs, etc. Sometimes she helps me in the garden, gets sweaty and then leaves to go see her family. At night she returns and "forgets to take a shower." The next day, when we wake up, her side of the sheets has black dirt on it due to her dirty feet. (This has happened a few times). I understand scenarios when she woke up late and is running for work, as a result, she left the bathroom messy -that's fine, that happens to all of us. But when I wake up and find dirty dishes left on the dinning room table, an empty Coke bottle in the bathroom, a half Coke bottle in the bedroom on the floor, dirty laundry on the floor throughout our master bedroom, and it happens over and over and over and she take no corrective action -that's different. The biggest shock in my opinion is her blindness to the above -she sees nothing wrong with walking barefoot outside, soiling her feet and jumping in bed dirty. leaving a mess all over the house is another thing. I've politely explained to her that I don't want to arrive from work and have to pick up after her. As for the mortgage -my house is paid off, there is no mortgage.
  9. My girlfriend and I have been living together and in doing so, I am beginning to question if we are compatible. I recognize that relationships are difficult and there are many issues which bring people together or apart -in the end nothing is perfect. I am a homeowner and my girl moved in with me over 6 months ago. As a homeowner I take pride in keeping my home clean, organized and properly maintained. On the other hand, my girlfriend is very messy and not too clean. According to her, "I'm picky and overreact". Perhaps I am and I would like everyone to provide me with feedback. On many occasions, I wake up (my girl works earlier than I therefore she is gone by the time I wake up) and find her pajamas, shoes and other items laying on the bathroom floor, her breakfast half eaten left cold on the dinning room table. As I organize the bed, I find Crums of food in the bedsheets or a few coke cans on the floor next to the bed. We live in a large house with a dinning room and a kitchen and I have asked her NOT to eat in the bedrooms -she on the other hand sees nothing wrong with it. My girl likes to walk barefooted in the back yard and on many occasions fails to washes her feet before going to bed. On a regular basis, in the morning as I make the bed I find the bedsheets with soiled foot print marks. Sometimes when she has a long workday she refuses to shower and downplays it. I find all of this to be very disgusting. I've sat down with her and politely explained that I don't want her to pick up after me. At the same time, I expect her to pick up after herself. She downplays the issue and claims that I am "just picky;" I am not happy with any of this and the more we live together the more disgusted I am by her low expectations. In addition, this is my home and I think I deserve some respect. In the end, I am starting to believe that we are not compatible. We value things differently. What do you think?
  10. Her episodes occur once a month, prior to the start of her menstrual cycle. She starts to sleep 14-16 hours a day, develops headaches and withdraws from me. She also suffers from depression, no doubt that doesn’t help. Topics of conversation which were once normal or funny a week prior become insulting under these conditions. Once her cycle starts she goes back to normal; however, her comprehension of her behavior from the prior week is warped. I don’t know if it’s the depression (which she’s medicated or something else). Either way, these monthly episodes are destroying our relationship. Im trying to convince her to see a therapist, and a primary care doctor. Either-way, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells.
  11. She would need to talk to her doctor about her symptoms and ask for diagnosis and treatment. Have you asked her during a calm time if she would like to talk to her doctor? my girlfriend is in the medical field and thinks “she knows everything” I’ve begged her to get help but she refuses.
  12. Thank you for your response. However, there is more to this story. my girlfriend suffers from depression and is heavily medicated. No matter, 5 days before her cycle she starts to withdraw from me, sleep 14 hours a day and develop severe headaches. A week later, after her symptoms pass, she returns to normal and doesn’t even acknowledge her destructive behavior from before.
  13. I’ve been dating someone for 10 months and a disturbing pattern has materialized which is jeopardizing our relationship. For the most part our relationship is excellent. However, every 30 days, 1 week prior to her menstrual cycle, my girlfriend becomes very tired and sleeps 12, 14 or 16 hours a day. She then develops severe migraines and she withdraws from me. Any conversation during this timeframe is misconstrued -what was a joke yesterday becomes offensive leading to a fight. Once her cycle begins her attitude changes for the better. However, she doesn’t seem to understand the damage created from our arguments prior to her cycle. Anyone experienced anything like this?
  14. My girlfriend spends lots of time with me and her sister is always calling her demanding that she spend more time and care of her dog. In other words, my girlfriend loves her dogs but the reason they stink and don’t get bathed for 3 months is because my girlfriend doesn’t take the responsibility. If she moves in with me and brings her dogs, the above scenario will continue but I will have to do the work. That’s not happening! She opened the door and brought up the conversation of moving in. I have no objection since she spends 5 out 7 days at my house, but now she insist that the dogs are a part of the move. Call me selfish (I can care less) however; I am the owner of the property and have a say. If she doesn’t like it, then it’s time to move on. I’m not going to sacrifice my health for anyone.
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