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jnr586

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  1. @boltnrun yes absolutely. I realize that I’m in a good position now and don’t want to waste that. @Batya33 I should try to clarify. Not trying to sound like a Debbie Downer!! I do not want to come off as a martyr. I’d say that I’ve tried to improve parts of my working environment and some of the resistance I’ve met is expecting people to change. I maintain that there are people in my company who are in roles that they are not suited for, but I am trying hard to accept the things I can’t change and to stay in a positive state of mind. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night (even while on vacation!) fretting about my job. Not healthy!! So yes, the dysfunction is absolutely there but I’m working to not let it affect me so much. Thank you!!
  2. Thanks to you all for the helpful and thoughtful replies. I do think I need to take things less personally and that is something that I am starting to realize and work on. It is hard to stand by and observe dysfunction but I suppose this is what being an adult is. I do suspect that the environment is more toxic here than average but I recognize that I’d likely encounter significant dysfunction nearly anywhere else. I do plan to change jobs eventually. As I’m solidly mid career and mid life (41), I am becoming keenly aware that the years are going to go fast. If they are, I’d rather have them go fast closer to home. I’m an overanalyzer and a planner, and I’ll admit that I fear I’ll regret working away these good years for people who don’t really appreciate me enough (in my opinion) in a job that depletes my mental health while my parents remain relatively healthy. In my 20s and even 30s, 30 years was a timespan that was difficult to comprehend, but I appreciate better how quickly the next 30 might go. I’ve seen many older colleagues go through some pretty severe burnout, divorces, and mental health issues to the point where they’re simply going through the motions now, although no one seems to address this. I’ve worked too hard and have too wonderful and supportive of a spouse to let that happen to me. Not knowing exactly what I want to do adds to my stress. But in the meantime I’ll focus mostly on controlling what I can control and not letting the things I can’t get to me too much. By leaving I will give up some great things, but I am pretty sure I won’t regret it once it happens.
  3. I’ve been in my job for almost 9 years. This started as a dream job, and many aspects have been fantastic. I’ve moved further up in management over the past 2 years and have been able to buy shares in the company. I’m making more than I ever imagined I could. However as I move up in the company I’ve become acutely aware of mid/upper level dysfunction, poor communication, and characteristics of a toxic work environment. I’ve tried to make a positive difference at this level but it’s only caused me frustration and stress that at times can be all-consuming. I’m not the same person I was when I started working here. Hours are long and it’s difficult to leave work at work. I have resolved that I need to get out eventually. My spouse and I would like to move closer to our families (much higher cost of living there). I’m struggling with how soon to go and how long to save as it’s unlikely that I’d earn as much closer to home than I can earn here. Because I am invested in the company I’m required to give at least 12 months’ notice without sustaining a major financial penalty. I’d like to hang on a few more years as I know moving home will be much more comfortable if I can save more here. I know there isn’t an easy answer to my gripe, and perhaps I just need to vent, but was curious if this resonated with anyone.
  4. Thanks to you guys. I should qualify that as a part owner in the company, it would be difficult or impossible for me to be fired. Because I own a small part of it, this feels more like a relationship or marriage (which should give you an idea of how consuming the job can be), meaning that if a relationship became troubled, it would be advisable to discuss with your partner and see if there’s anything that can be fixed between the two of you, rather than walking in one day and saying that you’ve decided to break up. I will be able to take some personal time soon which should help. One of my major concerns is seeing many of my coworkers who are in their 50s and how this job has consumed their lives. I don’t want that. I guess the question is whether I can stay and fix it or whether I need to run.
  5. I’ve been in my current job since 2015. I’ve ascended the ranks over the years and had the opportunity to buy into the company (appx 30 owners) a couple of years ago. I was initially very happy and I felt the business needed someone with my skill set and personality. Consequently I’ve started participating in more senior roles in the company. I work with some absolutely amazing people who I respect and admire, and I believe they see me as the future leader of our department of the company. However, as I’ve become more deeply involved, there have been a few instances in which i have felt unsupported and disrespected by the highest level of our company overall. The head of our company isn’t great with people and does not have strong leadership skills. There are a number of people at the very top who are more dysfunctional and toxic than I had realized. Because I’m in a more senior role, the dysfunction is stressful to me because I’d like to tackle big problems head on but don’t have allies who are I afraid of challenging the norm. To boot, my job is profoundly stressful and demanding for four to five months of the year. The other half of the year is quite light and I’d always enjoyed the latitude that this schedule afforded. I’d always considered I’d spent my career here (I’m 40), but recently I’m thinking it’s too draining. Id have other career options but I’d need to think about what would suit me best. Im extremely worried about the colleagues I care about and who have helped me as I feel like me leaving would be very disruptive for the company. I’d never considered voicing this to a colleague until today when I’ve had one of far too many recent wretched days. Is there any use in voicing this? My older colleagues are diehards for this company and I think even thinking of leaving would shatter the trust I’ve built with them.
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