UT

erm... if everyone look at the two first posts on this topic, did this person first ask for help and then reply to her own thread? I'm confused...

In this Case I'd have to se it's entirely up to what you are willing to risk. Even if he is okay with you being gay doesn't mean you telling him about your feelings will be appreciated. Unless, of cource, if he shares those feelings, or at least is curious about it. If he doesn't share those feelings he might feel pressured but knowing that you're interested in him and might feel uncomfortable, but then again he might just be flattered. But be careful. Both of you are still pretty young and everybody doesn't really know exactly what they want this early in life. But if you like this guy and you think he likes you, I'd say that is enough reason to give it a try and even if he doesn't share the same feelings at least you will have cleared the air a bit and he knows how you feel. If he isn't certain about his sexuality he mi9ght need time to think about it, so even if he initially says No, doesn't mean that he's not interested. Give him time in that case, but don't put your life on hold just because he might just be uncertain.

Even If this guy may be lying about his sexuality, you need to respect that and at least put the sexuality talk to rest. If he's not ready to come out yet you shouldn't push him with a false belief that he's going to open up to you. It doesn't matter if you convince him you're gay, if he's not ready, he won't come out to you. I had a friend who was openly gay when I was closeted. It took me over 6 months before I told him. What you saw or didn't see doesn't matter. He might have been experimenting, see if he might be gay. It doesn't mean he is, he might have been confused. At your age, that is not uncommon. Give him all the time he need, don't push or pressure him, give him some speace. It's most likely that he's taken cover due to all this. If you weren't out, and not ready, wouldn't you?

I will, thanks for the reply. I'm extremely nervous.. hehe and happy.

One interesting question I have to comment on is "how can she know she's lesbian if she hasn't even had a kiss like that?" (No, this was not a quote) How can straight people know they are straight before they've even had their first kiss. She probably know what she likes. Whether she'd feel better with a male or female partner. I've never kissed a guy And I'm gay. How can I know? I find men attractive, sexually. I can appreciate a womand beauty, but it's not arousing in anyway and I don't feel a desire to "do things" with her. Over to your problem... What's your problem? That was a little unclear. You're in love with a girl who doesn't love you, or who can't love you. I'd say thereare two ways, or tree ways you could go about this. The first being that you could try and talk to her, but there's a risk of her pulling away. Perhaps not because of your feelings but because of the new tension. No one want's to be around a person if they think they might feel things for you and if this isn't mutual. Number two, Love her as a friend and try to be only that. Sometimes it's better for the friend if you spare themthe knowledge that you feel this way. It's an enormous burden of guilt. you fee3l bad about it. And last would be no contact with her. Although that will bring heartbreak to both of you, but if you don't have contact with her it will be easier to try and forget about it. Although I'd never suggest anyone to do this. I think you eityher should talk to her or love her as a firend and use all that love your feeling for her to make her happy, as a friend. If she's not entirely lesbian, you might make her fall for you. Who knows? In anycase, good luck to you.

Hello. Some if not many of you know me and know some about how things have been for me. About christmas last year I started talking to a guy (-gemincer-) here on this forum and we started talking more and more and have now been together for about 8 months, a little more than that. Some of you okay about him and have probably read some of his threads- This saturday I will finally meet him about 7 pm (Central American time, Chicago time) at the Edmonton International airport after a 17 hour flight. At last, after countless tears and hours opon hours of Just thinking about him, missing him and longing to hold him. It's so great that I'll be with him shortly. I love him so much and this week has been my lifes longest week. The wait, these 8 months have both been the worst and most wonderful months of my life. This is truly a great place to meet someone. First of, none of us was here to find love. He came here with his problems and I replied. We connected on an emotional level, and not physical as many places dedicated to dating. I think this is a great way to meet. Everyone is so genuine in a way. It's hard to explain but I hope at least some understand what I mean. In a way I'd like to thank eNotAlone for everything and also Many of the members I've talked to throughout my time here. Thank you all very much. P.s. This is not a goodbye. I will just simply not be on as much as I used to. Thanks to you all I have a life hehe. Thanks you, all of you. (And the admins have been great too, I usually don't get along with admins hehe) eNotAlone is great. Thank you all. Cheers, UT

Well, I think it's all in your head, but this is a common feeling I guess atleast fr "noobs" as everything. "omg does she have a gaydar?" Don't worry about it. Just be yourself and have fun. You can't really see that someone is gay by the way they act. You can only get a feeling that person might be gay because of how he or she acts. Generally, if a girl acts masculine and dress that way people tend to think he's a lesbian. If a guy is somewhat feminine and sensitive and have colorful clothes or dress classy people tend to assume he's gay. Don't worry about anything. I mean, what could happen? At the most she'll ask her boyfriend if you're gay. Don't worry too much about that stuff. She just wants to take it cool and relax. I suggest you doing the same. Have fun and be happy. As a quote follows that I've heard a lot on this forum and also myself used before. "it's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you're not." My friends know I'm gay. They are totally cool with it and still love me What I'm trying to say is; don't worry, enjoy life.

Transexuallism is considered a mental illness, the purpose being to give lefies to the patient, he or she'll know what the problem is, he/she is not alone, "providing health insurance coverage and guiding research to provide more effective future treatment." The process is long and hard. but it's also designed so that it willtake away those who aren't transexual and are only confused. mistakes have been mande and there have been people regretting it afterwards. I understand that you'd advise to take it easy and I too don't think you should rush anything. But talk to an expert on this area and work from there. if you are transexual, the sooner the better, but if you're just unhappy about your appearance, that will come up in therapy. A girl turned boy will have some difficulties, all you need is to meet an openminded gay boy. I'm gay, My boyfriend is an FtM. I see past what's on the outside and I love him more than anything else. He's my dream guy. But, many gay men might be vain and you will have some problems. I have to disagree, chromosomes only matter when you are being "created" it doesn't matter so much anymore besides for some desieses and other things, but it doesnät matter when it comes to gender identiry. What many don't think about is that a transexuals mind is already the sex that the body is being turned to. Many probably see traveler as a woman who wants to have a penis and flat chest. That is not the case. Traveler is a boy, born in a woman's body and in order for him to feel good and to be happy he needs to be able to do and have what every other boy has. hormonetherapy take care of almost everything when it comes to menstration and such and traveler, should he go on with his treatment, will underfo an operation leaving him sterile, and homemone treatment will also slowly decrease firtility. He will be turned into a man, he will not be XX, but XY. That's what people see, and that's what matters. Good luck to you traveler. Take care.

What I believe Berzerker means is that, first he starts this webcam thing and it all fun and nice, but then afterwards feels bad about doing it. I remember a similar feeling a few years age when I myself coming out, or on the verger to doing it. I used to go on gay porn sites and look at it and do... what most boys do and after I'd feel weird and disgusted. but this was when I was 15-16 years old. Then I acceptd myself entirely for who I am.

Due to his young age it's very uncertain that he is gay. He's in the middle of puberty and probably doesn't know what he ways. He's trying to find himself. I think you should wait another 2 years perhaps. It might only be a phase. Something you can do right now is letting him know it's okay if he is gay and that you'll still be there for him and love him and that there's nothing wrong with it. If he is gay, then he'll find it easier to talk to you when he's ready. If he isn't at least he knows he has an open-minded brother.

It does to an extent. but we're straying off topic in a way. I'm sorry about he confusion.

Um... Mr.Fred. Are you entirely sure that respons was to "UT"? I can't say that I've written anythin the could be replied with your entire post... However, you might be answering to the post just before your reply, please revise. However, when it comes to the citerias for Gender Identity Disorders there are 5 different diagnoses provided by link removed Transexualism Dual-role Transvestism Gender Identity Disorder of Children Other Gender Identity Disorder Gender Identity Disorder, Unspecified-gemincer- is transexual and transexualism has three criteria: "The desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by the wish to have his or her body as congruent as opssible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatment; The transexual identity has been present persistently for at least two years; The disorder is not a symptom of another mental disorder or a chromosomal abnormality."-gemincer- is eligible for hormone treatment and it's possible to start treatmen as early as 16, as -gemincer- said, but preferable with parents consent. The reason for it being 16 is because in many countries you're legally an adult at that age. UT

OMG you just have to break it off with him, this is like impossible to get through. OMG dog person.... ok, jokes aside. Well, that's not too bad. To have a relationship, both of you have to make some sacrifices and comprimises and I believe dogs and cats can live together, this is not a cartoon.

-gemincer-, You know I love you and You know I don't really like that you try self-treatment. I don't know what will happen whne/if people find out (in case you do have to resort to self-medication) about your attempts. Althoug it's not really a trust issue as much as it's a need issue, your need to be fulfilled, but in the documents is say that there should be a good relationship between patient and doctor. After talking to you this morning I did some reaserch on self medication and I don't like the sideffects which includes blindness and even possible death. I don't want you to be blind, nor do I want you to die, ever. I want you to follow the doctors suggestion no matter what. But heshould set the appointment. You've already gotten the diagnosis and you have the paper about going to the mens washroom. if he hans't made up his mind and your uncle helps you I want you to be careful, really careful and make sure it's the same thing that patients receive when they undergo hormone therapy. I love you so much. I don't want you to get hurt or for this to make it all take longer. Take care. Yours forever, Carl.

Hehe. tell us the truth you were still pretty excited when you wrote this hehe. It's noticeable in the mistakes you made and the way you wrote hehe. I'm glad everything went well. Good luck on the second date as well. Hope he'll turn out to be a great boyfriend.