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TheG

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  1. I am writing this in a traumatic state. So from my previous post I got in a relationship which has been going really well since we started. We have been spending almost every weekend together since beginning of December last year. And we have been sexually active for a while. Today we had sex without protection for the first time and a couple of hours later her mood changed and she got all angry and wanted to go home. Just before she got into the uber she said that shes breaking up with me. When she got to her flat she sent me a message apologizing for her angry behaviour saying she was overwhelmed and frustrated by something. She asked me to come to her place as she needs to tell me something face to face. When I got here she was crying and struggling to tell me what the issue is. finally she to me that she is HIV positive and that she spoke to her doctor and I should get PEP medication, ASAP. Of course I had a lot of questions. I was so speechless and about 5 minutes later I told her not to worry and that I will make some calls and deal with it. I am still shocked and had to share a bit of what was going through my mind right now.
  2. This happened to a friend of fine. His gf dumped and and he accepted it gracefully and then she tried to make him jealous with another guy. That turned him off so much that when she asked to get back together he had lost his feelings for her Sometimes maybe you just see the other person more clearly when are broken up/away from each other
  3. So far so good. Feeling much more secure with her the more I spend time with her, We are finally enjoying our honey moon phase !
  4. I have told myself that I wont act like this again and will make a very conscious effort everytime. Just as Boltrun said I will take a minute, step back and ask myself "is this legit or is it my fear talking?"
  5. So crazy thing just happened. We talked about everything and it seems we were on different wavelengths. She thought I was angry because she refused to sleep over. I asked her about the call she received and she said it wasnt a call, she had switched her router on (which I now rememeber) and all the social media messages came streaming in. Its crazy how insecurity can make you create your own scenarios. When I think carefull about what really happened that night. Her phone just vibrated it wasnt necesarilly a call. She warned me about sabotaging what we have and I realised that I was sabotaging what we have Regarding the dates, I dont have concrete proof that they were dates with guys once again I think I ended up creating a scenario where she was cheating. When she explained everything I realised that I was just seeing my own things. I am lucky that she really really likes me and did not leave me for acting like this. I am quite embarrassed but I assured her and you guys that I will not jump to conclusions like that again and that I will tell her straight away when I have an issue. She kept hammering this point She said she couldnt stand me not talking to her and thought I was just trying to make excuses to leave her. She is coming over tomorrow, her request. Taking it one day at a time but yea, I might need to see a therapist for my insecurities/fear of intimacy. I can tell she really cares for me and her reassurance also made things better
  6. So i told her this morning that I just need time to process certain things that I am noticing and certain emotions I am feeling. And then she replied that this is no way to be in a relationship, if there is something wrong I must talk about it and not try to process it alone. She said when I back off she gets really turned off and she cant deal with a person who makes her feel that way. She added that relationships do have quarells but its too soon for us to be quarelling already. She said I shouldnt act like the victim because she is still shocked and feeling disappointed by my behaviour. So I should decide what I want...
  7. Simple advice but quite insightful. Ill let her know. I am not trying tp upset her , I am basically protecting myself by creating space
  8. I will, I just need time to gather my thoughts and cool off a bit. She just messaged me to confirm if we are still on for Friday. She knows something is wrong but is also not asking about it. I think she knows exactly why we not talking right now but also not confronting it. anyway I confirmed that I am still on. But I think we definitely need to meet up before Friday to clear the air
  9. What I can say I have picked up about her is that shes quite insecure. Insecure about herself, her body etc because her previous BF damaged her self esteem. So when she asked me what I wanted from her I think it was a way of her saying she wants something serious she just wanted me to say it. After I said i would like a serious comitted relationship she said she actually wants the same thing its just that she will have to start talking to people now/cutting them off. She posts her outings quite alot so from some of the posts you can figure out that it is a date. When I called her out about going on these dates before we got committed she did admit to going on 1 or 2 dates. I can tell she likes me, alot even, but I think her insecurities are making her look for backup; i dont know. The 2 am call i dont think was a booty call but someone checking on her because she was out with me. That day I didnt even plan to go out with her that late. We went on a movie date during the day and I had a plans to go to another event later on. She said she really wanted to spend more time with me and we ended up going to the event together. This is all just additional information from what I previously posted. I dont know, I am thinking of just slowing down communication and allowing her/give her space to decide what she really wants
  10. I asked her politely to answer the phona and she declined. which was ok. I didnt force her, it was just a request
  11. Greetings Enotloners. So I met this lady 2 months back. On social media. She has been out of a relationship for 6 months. Her previous relationship was for 2 years and she even ended up moving in with the guy at some point so, of course, she had alot of healing to do since the relationship. We went on our first date 2 months back and we had alot of fun. We ended up kissing on the same day. Then I pulled back a bit after that first date. I did not put much effort in the dating (calling and texting much) because I could see she was still dating other guys. Because of this I stood back and only reached out to her here and there. At some point on one of our dates she said that I dont communicate well with her. I asked her why, and she said that I dont call her enough. And I explained to her that since shes going on a few dates with other guys, I felt did not want to commit myself emotionally and decided to pull back a bit. She said she understood and then asked me what it is that I wanted. I told her I want a commited relationship with her and she thanked me for telling her, saying that it opens a new point of view for her and that she will start cutting people off because she likes me. After that, we started seeing each other at least twice a week. We decided to get into a committed relationship. We got really close and started being very open to each other, our insecurities, fears, beliefs, her past of depresssion etc. We have been in a committed relationship for about 3 weeks now (after dating for a month). The relationship felt like a dream, I couldnt believe how "perfect" she was for me. At some point she confessed to me that I seem too good to be true and I told her that I felt exactly the same about her. I felt very secure in this relationship, more secure than in most of my previous relationships. Shes met all my friends and they all say that shes definitely the one for me. One of them even said I should not "f## this one up" lol Recently though, it seemed as though she went on a date with someone else. She told me she was going out with a friend but from what she posted on her whatsapp status. It did not look like a friendly date with a friend. The person she was with on the date was not shown and at some point it seemed the mystery person was feeding her dessert. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt on this one and did not let it affect our new relationship because I did not have concrete proof. So we went out together again last night, I put what I thought I saw behind me. We spend the whole day and night together. At about 2 am while she was at my place she suddenly said she wants to go home. It wasnt really an issue for me because I know she doesnt want us to rush into any sexual relations. But then a phone call came in just before she left. The phone was on vibrate but because she sitting right next to me I felt the vibration. I asked her to answer the call and she didnt. So things got awkward from then. I walked her out as her uber had arrived and gave her a cold hug and she went on her way. Later on she told me she was home safe, but I only saw that text this morning. I greeted her good morning asked how she was, like I do every morning, and kept quiet for the rest of the day. I told her before that I have a tendency to just switch off and back off when I am feeling uneasy in romantic relations. So we basically didnt talk the whole day of which never happens. We bought ticket to an event that will take place this coming Friday so I will definitely see her soon for that event and I will be meeting her friends on that day, but I really dont know how to proceed in this relationship. Is it fair for me to say she's cheating on me since we only about 1 month in? She did look quite guilty after that late night phone call. Please help...
  12. Yes. Thank you for the advice. Back to the drawing board, there are plenty of fish in the sea...
  13. Yea true. In conclusion, I got carried away
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