I've never posted on a forum before, especially nothing of such personal nature, but I have no one to turn to and I need advice and a sanity check.
My husband and I have been married for just over 6 months. We met and have been together since high school (over 15 years). We are from different cultural backgrounds and both families had issues. We've been through a lot over the years and it was a constant tug of war. We finally decided the hell with everyone else, we need to make a life for ourselves. We got engaged last summer and went to the justice of the peace by ourselves and got married earlier this year. We decided to tell our families individually. His family is overseas and out of the area, most of mine is local. I called my parents and of course they were crushed that they were not included but was glad we were finally happy adults now. We've been to celebrations and received gifts but only from my side. I kept asking what happened with his family and he said that they are "getting used to the idea", and there were always elaborate details on conversations and arguments. This week I discovered that they do NOT know we are married or even engaged--he never told them! They think that we are merely living together (we moved in together AFTER getting married). I can't believe that he hasn't told them and I feel completely betrayed. He is afraid of being disowned. I am feeling every emotion from anger to fear. I am now questioning everthing that has happened over the last 15+ years. I'm also confused about all the conversations that he relayed that never occurred. He is currently overseas now on a work project and has even visited them several times without telling them. I don't know what to do, think or say. I am terrified at the thought of life without him and I feel like a total fool. I spoke with his brother (who found out the truth) and he doesn't think it's a big deal. Am I stupid to think that my hopes and dreams for the future are fiction? This is such a mess. If he tells his family and they disown him, then what for us? If he doesn't tell them, should I get a divorce/annulment? Now add horribly embarrassed to my list of emotions. I'm still getting congratulations cards and I'm contemplating divorce--yikes!
I've spent the last 4 days as either a zombie or sobbing freak. I can't eat, sleep or think clearly. Any reasonable thoughts here?