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heartbroken84

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About heartbroken84

  • Birthday 01/31/1984

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  1. Ugh now I regret gifting my two bosses $5 chocolate box from costco...will stick to just holiday cards next year
  2. I have two bosses - this year one gave me flowers and the other chocolate plus is taking the team to lunch. So I gave them both a small box of chocolate as a thank you. I have two other coworker but just giving them my usual holiday card. I don’t think I should give the coworkers anything more than a card because the. They may feel obligated to give me a gift.
  3. So I gave my boss a box of chocolate and a card mostly because she gave me poinsettia flower But only gave my co worker a card ...my boss came by when I was in my co worker office and said “I hope you like Belgian chocolates...but I didn’t give my coworkers any....should I give my co worker and other co worker box of chocolate?
  4. I wish I could leave the key at her at her home preferably when she is not at home, but she lives in a mildly unsafe area. I really don't feel comfortable interacting with her, but at least she's making effort to pick up her key.
  5. She does not want her keys mailed and prefers to pick them up. She made arrangements to pick them up at my worksite tomorrow.
  6. You’re giving me a headache and twisting my words. Please stop responding.
  7. I understand. If I were doing a favor for her, then she would be responsible for the damage. I think it’s really cruel to advise me to stay away from pets due to my ignorance. I believe everyone can learn from experience and I certainly did.
  8. Batya33, sounds like you tried to be generous in return too and I’m sure it didn’t go unnoticed.
  9. I’m sorry you feel my story is confusing. She offered compensation the first time she asked me to bunny sit and I assumed that would be the arrangement for future sitting. I did not ask for it. I’ve bunny sat for her a total of 3 times. First time, she sent me compensation, second time she did not, the third time which was last week. And with the purse, I simply stated the value of the purse so she could understand the gravity of the damage and that we needed to talk about it. When we talked, she offered to repay. After an extensive search online, I was happy to find the same purse in used condition for less and said she could just chip in for it. At this point and after how she spoke to me on the phone, I could care less about her contribution. Thank you for your response and time.
  10. I recently read an article about bunny behaviour and separation anxiety. It’s a thing. Bunnies can feel stressed. While discussing the situation she did admit that her bunny gets upset when she leaves or gets jealous when visitors come by and destroys things. I mean whatever I’m just glad the bunny didn’t assault me.
  11. I hope your son gets paid for pet sitting. I’m just weird, when I owe someone money, I send it immediately. I don’t like to owe anyone money. She claims to have “invited me over to her house” and that she was “doing me good service for giving me something to do on thanksgiving” but I think she really didn’t have anyone to pet sit and she either forgot or doesn’t want to put the bunny in a boarding unit as I understand that can be emotionally frightening for a pet. There are also various pet sitting apps - better to do business with them than me. She even was guilt tripping me after the purse issue stating “well guess I have no one to watch by bunny now”....this isn’t my problem. How weird. She coming to pick up her key Friday at my work and I’m so relieved.
  12. All day shopping trips! You’re my kind of friend! Yes, I like to owe nobody nothing. And want to build friendships with people who think the same. This person was like “you’re weird with money” because whenever we order DoorDash for movie nights or go out for a meal and I end up paying the tab because we didn’t ask for separate checks. I tell her her share and often I’m the one sending the venmo payment request. She said “oh with my friends, like I’ll get the tab one time and then they’ll get the tab next time”. I’m not weird with money, I can be smart with it. And i abide by the rule that everyone pays for their own share. One time my coworker invited her friends for birthday dinner at an upscale place. It was a group of girls maybe 7 people. Everyone was ordering 2-3 alcoholic drinks and food. I don’t drink much alcohol and didn’t order a drink. I also order a small plate. In the end, the check came and they all agreed to split the check evenly...it was $75 per person, when I pretty much only ordered $20 of food. Dinner with large groups of people gets murky so I don’t do that anymore.
  13. Yes, I rarely ask other for help with tasks, I don’t want to burden anyone. If I had a pet, I would take my pet to a pet hotel, yes it’s expensive, but pets are wonderful yet expensive. I have triple A so if anything happens to my car, I can call a tow truck or request service rather than burden a friend. I’d like to practice being more of a good time charlie. I am lucky to have 3 best friends that I’ve been best friends for decades. One always extends stay at her home and invites me up for getaways. When I visit her and her husband treat me like family and are really kind and considerate. I always bring a little box of chocolate or flowers as a thank you. Another friend from college is extremely generous with her time and always gives me sound advice on work per personal issues. And another friend is super sweet with a kind soul, we always take eachother out for meals on our birthdays. It’s just a balanced thing we do. Yes, and I need to practice saying “No” more often. Your experience with the house sitting is a nightmare. I’d be traumatised. This friend lives in a not so great area of Oakland. What if her house was burglarised when I was pet sitting. I’d be blamed and held liable. The night I went and the bunny ate my purse, she messages at 10pm and says “Did you lock the front door” — it made me panic even though I am certain I locked the door. No more pet or house sitting for me. It’s just too risky. There was a time when my best friend Mark asked me to pet sit his cat. I held his cat and gave it attention. That evening when I got home my legs were covered in painful itchy bumps. I had been bitten at least 30 times by fleas. His cat and the house had fleas and I’m extremely allergic. I told Mark what happened and he was so apologetic and his soft tone, he was genuinely sorry I was in pain. He had no idea that the cat picked up fleas as his family isn’t allergic to them. That’s all I really needed to hear and it’s all anyone wants to hear is someone to say genuinely that they are sorry for what happened. This experience was such a good learning lesson and experience. Thank you for your stories, wisdom, and advice. I’m feeling better about the loss of the purse and moving on from this friendship.
  14. Thanks so much for your thoughtfulness. You have said some great things. I definitely didn’t feel respected. I think we all need respect. We’re all different and think/act differently. I have some things to learn and practice, but I’m glad I’m no longer going to invest emotionally or monetarily in this person. I’ve only know her for a year, but our friendship is dead. I started realising this a few months ago. 1. She disrespected my friend over dinner regarding her unvaxxed status which was super inappropriate. 2. We recently went to Napa. I couldn’t meet her early and told her we’d have to leave midday. I thought we could show up for wine tasting, however that day I learned all the wineries only do tasting by reservations and everything was booked. She kept telling people we got there too late as if insinuating it was my fault. It’s not that we got there too late, it’s that the wineries only take reservations and they’re fully booked. During that trip, I was done drinking wine after two glasses. She had two glasses plus a half of my glass I didn’t finish because I was in charge of driving home. I was ready to go home after our meal that I paid for as a birthday treat to her. During the meal she kept remarking on the waiters butt and maybe she was tipsy but it was awkward. Later she said “oh it was nice that you paid for that fancy meal, but I feel like I have to repay you” that’s so rude. Further on same Napa trip she wanted to keep drinking after I was done so we went to another bar where she literally drank another glass while I sat there with my water. 3. The bunny ate my purse situation. Where she kept saying “I would never do that” “I would do this” “friends pets have gotten to my things and it is what it is”. That’s just disrespectful and my feelings were left invalidated. I guess when it comes down to it, it is about respect and maintaining friendships takes management. I’m old enough to know that I’m seeking balanced friendships and respectful. I’m an academic advisor by profession and today one of students that is graduating came by and gave me a note with a $20 Starbucks gift card. The note read “thank you for being an awesome advisor over the past few years. I can’t thank you enough for all help you’ve provided.” That was really a nice gesture, unnecessary, but appreciated.
  15. Agreed. Another learning lesson is to keep how much you earn and finances to yourself. Money is a weird thing. I guess I just have weird friends. I had another friend who I’m no longer friends with tell me I owed her a couple dinners...after she invited me to two family gatherings where food was available. When I invite people over I don’t have the expectation for them to do anything in return.
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