Xodus

lol hope you are not getting mad at me I just like looking at both sides of things. Beleave it or not I do know how it feels to keep wanting to try and be with someone even though it is pritty much through with. I know how it is to sleep at the front door hopeing nothing else in your life walks out on you. I know how it is to sit up to 4 a.m. holding the phone hopeing the person you love will call you and crying myself to sleep and waking up at 7a.m. to go to school and deal with all this pain and come home and feel it agian. Agian I am sorry if i did offend you I just like saying both sides. Check out my post might understand more of where I am comeing from. link removed

Ok this is probably at the point I get called a perv but I am here to be honest. First of all very kewl you would actually be willing to watch the porn with him don't see why he is not open to that. Something else though, why were you in his recycle been anyways? OK now on my opinion of porn, as a teen ya I watched it just to get off, then as I started to get more sexually active I realized this was away of almost comparing myself I guess you would say. It gives me an idea of a semi realist way of doing certain positions and ways to get more creative in my love life, but I do admit I still get off on it even though (never thought I could say this) I get almost to much sex, come on the 4th time ladies you are just kind of pushing it lol, but anyways still get off on it but only for the fact I think about what my wife would be like in that position and how she would feel against me and watching just helps the imagination. I don't look for certain "body types" when I look at porn, the people never really matters to me its more of the situation.

Give credit to yourself as well!!! You sound like you are very strong and that is something to be very proud of.

Just taking a stab in the dark here, but I am sorry if the kind of domestic behavior you have had to go through. Sorry here agian, a bird is a bird no matter the colors of its wings. People that would be willing to be "locked up" for the fact they feel like they can not get over someone that they trully love, well that would just be strange lol. I could understand like some sort of get away, cant remember name of the movie but beleave it was sandra bullock or how every you spell her name, the place they went for drugs and alchol would be something I could understand to some extent. Agian though to be locked up and based on someone elses idea of you getting over the person you loved is what is able to get you out of there well... Ok now on the rest of what you are saying I do understand, think the concept is a great idea guess just diffrent ways of seeing it and diffrent ways of doing it. I still have to go back to the fact of has this kind of domestic viloence accurd to you personally or maybee friend or family. And also are you thinking about the person hurting or the person you thing they might hurt?

lol agreed

Unfortently sense I wish my soon to be ex would give me a chance, I would have to agree with them, it seems you made the right decision. If you go back now I as a guy would probably say he will think he has you no matter what he does, and that will lead to alot more difficulties up the road.

For one I would have to agree I would be there myself right now! Unfortently I also have to look at it from the point of view that usually when someone goes through a bad seperation of sorts they tend to cling on the closest of the oposite sex they can find, well atleast that has been my experince. So think of it this way, you have say 20 people in a group, 10 male, 10 female, all heart broken looking for away to make the pain stop. It is deffently a good idea to a point but it would be soemthing a reality show could be based on. Sorry if i sound rude. I do appologize.

The horror I feel inside, It's this feeling like I will die, I only know how to run and hide Nothing could feel this way not even a lonely bride. The way I can not breath, All I can think about is what if this feeling leaves I shake at the thought But most people say its something I sought No matter the way How can people deal with this same feeling everyday. I should run just because I can But all this love I feel for you has just began. ___________________________________________ You yell that I have done so much wrong But you don't know what, and you're the one that is gone You ask me to give you time I have even though you only laugh and sip on wine You offer me no relief You leave me yet you show now grief I'm supposed to wait for you But are you just trying to make me the fool I hide my pain behind my brown eyes Most people don't see that I feel like I could die I beg for forgiveness in these lines But in my heart is the only place my feelings are defined ______________________________________________ I know these are cheesy and both about way different feelings so any critics are welcomed.

I agree with the other post, they are very good poems. I would love to hear more that you have. Deffently a 9/10

Thank you Gilgamesh. I did try and at first it really didn't work out well, she yelled and cursed, I would smart off and we kept that up for a good 30minutes. After that though we talked I know atleast an hour and it went GREAT. We actually talked and listened, will amit something neither and mainly me are to famous for. It went so great and I know how stupid this sounds but I feel that it went so good that I am ready to say goodbye to her as a wife atleast! If that makes sense to anyone please just slap me and let me know how I came to that. It's just weird it's like this weigh is mostly gone and I would love to have her back but I guess to some extent I am deffently ok with her not. Do not get me wrong, I still love her with all my heart, and I would not be going through all this if I was wanting to just let go. The more I read my soon to be post the more heartless it makes me sound to myself. Guess it is something enternal that has just snapped lol I have no clue.

Well I tried the long distance cyber relationship, we had sorta the same falling out b/c we just couldnt handle the stress, well about a month latter I started dating someone new in real life. Me and my ex did choose to try and work things out as friends and it went pritty well, tell you the rest after answer questions lol. Here's the questions......... -Do you think about your ex even though you're in a new relationship? Yes I did, every time my new girlfriend would say a certian phrase or when she would call me I kept thinking back to the way me and my ex would talk about same thing or how I used to wait to hear the phone ring just to see if it was her. -Do you compare them? To a certian extent I did, but not on as many levels as i thought i would because my ex had a lot longer bond with me that was at a whole diffrent level. -Do you ever consider what went wrong and going back to the one you LOVE and trying to make it work? Ok actually this will be the end of my story. me and my ex started talking and out of the blue we just started talking about what things could be like if we ever got to meet each other. Well i conviced my mom to let me go, so i saved up the money and told my g/f what i was doing, and she supported me b/c she wanted me to get things straight with my ex before we went any futher. -Does it make any difference to you that your ex told you that she still loves you, thinks you're "the one", but will respect your new relationship and wishes you happiness? My ex did tell me these things before i went up there to see her, and she told me she would understand if i did not come that she did love me but wanted to respect me. I went, we got together and we stayed together for a good while, unfortently will have to say still didnt work out, but not for reasons of trust or anything of that matter. She got accepted into the naval academy and we got to talk about every 2 months so it just didnt last Hope this helped.

Ok this one I can touch on personally, I had a girlfriend when I was 15 that didn't want to have sex till she was married but wanted some form of intercourse, well needless to say we tried anal, kept it up for about 2 weeks almost everyday. It did not last, she was pritty religious and for some reason felt to convey her concerns of anal sex to our pastor, he told her that she was no longer a virgin. Well about a month latter we made sure... The way I feel about it though is she was still a virgin, so becareful that you don't get so envolved with it that you loose control and go any futher than you trully want to.

Just thought I would throw out an update. Wensday she called me and asked me if I wanted to get together today (thursday), well I said sure we need to talk about what we are going to do and such. Well today I call her at her grandmother's house to find out what time she wants me to meet her, I speak with the grandmother and I can hear my wife and her little sister yelling and playing around. So I ask for her when she gets the phone she starts sniffling and crying about how bad her head hurts and she doesn't want to talk today... well then I wasn't so nice I'll amit it. She finally said she would talk to me tomorow, so I am going to just go see her after school tomorow which is my first day back what a way to go back to school with all this on my mind. Now she is telling me that there are things that sense we have been married she has been holding back and hasn't been completely honest wtih me about... ok in my past experinces this screams cheating so I just asked if she was or has, and she got EXTREMELY upset with me. Well I guess I will see how things go tomorow, any last minute advice anyone willing to offer feel free to I will check forums before I go see her.

Ok as I am sure you all have read from my topic me and my wife are in process of being separated and so forth, so I doubt I am the best to give advice here. One thing me and her have never argued about sense we have dated is cheating, I think we owe it mainly to the fact that we are honest with each other. Just and example, awhile back we went to hardee's drive thru and there was a really good looking woman at the window taking my money. Me and the girl sit there and talked with my wife in the passenger seat, I sat there and kept flirting and talking and so did the girl. I stopped and introduced her to my wife and they spoke for a few seconds and me and the girl were back at it. The whole time my wife was laughing at my cheesy pick up lines and was rubbing my arm and holding my hand. Afterwards I said and I quote "She looked good!" and as normal my wife agreed and just chuckled when she told me that the drive through girl was not going to be having #@$ with me that night so I better play nice. Now this happens all the time, my wife flirts as well. It's weird I know but most of the time we give each other pointers and pick on each others mistakes, we ALWAYS introduce someone we are flirting with to the other. Again I know this sounds very strange but we are totally confident with each other in that way. lol most of the time she flirts more than me but I don't mind it because we are all humans and humans have hormones, hormones have to be released and so forth. We do draw a line though, under no reasons are we supposed to touch someone we flirt with. Now I let her go at hugging guys that she has been friends with for a long time I don't mind that at all, but I don't let my female friends hug on me, it just makes me feel weird lol.

Ounce agian thank you for everyones kind words. This is hard on me in the fact that her family has turned on me some what and they are all I have none for 2 years now when we moved to get closer to them. Just a couple more questions that I can't figure out guess they are something that only I will sort out but figure want hurt to ask. Wynterose you made a good point when you said, "The best advice I can give you is not to beg for her to come back because if you do, and she does come back, you will always wonder, did she come back because I begged or because she really wanted to?". Ok but here is my issue, I have been thinking about what if she does come back, I am not even sure if I will be able to go to sleep without the doubt in my mind that she might not be there agian when I wake up. I am so uncertian if I could personally handle that agian so in that case I am not even sure if I want her to come back. RayKay, after reading what you wrote I called her this mornin even though she asked me to give her some space, but I saw she was out our business by herself which can be very difficult at times so I called and checked on her and suggested maybee some councling or even sitting with someone as in a elder, or paster, so forth and just talk see if they could give us a view on something that they see that we might be missing or some advice on to futher ourselves. Well she got rather mad about that saying she dosent need anyone to help her decide wether or not she wants to be with me and I can understand that. Afterwards though we talked about 45minutes and it went extremly well. We talked about just off the wall things like we used to when we first started dating. It almost feels like she wants to go back to the dating stage of things and agian I can understand that but just dont grasp why we have to be apart to do that. Thank you all agian for your advice I'll keep yall updated.